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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a bit sad that my cat has never had sex?

75 replies

4thfloor · 27/07/2013 15:52

The thread in chat about animals and periods got me thinking and I want to know if I am being unreasonable.

I feel really quite sorry for my current cat, she is 8 , we have had her for a year and she was neutured as kitten so has never mated or been able to be a mum.

I know it's sensible in human terms to neuter animals to prevent unwanted strays etc but sometimes I think this might be a bit cruel to the animal themselves male/female , denying them the most basic instinct of reproduction.

I mean she is only a moggy so would not be 'breeding stock' and therefore society think the best thing is to neuter really young.

Sometimes I think this just isn't really fair on the animal.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
curlew · 27/07/2013 15:53

Yes.
Next!

fakebook · 27/07/2013 15:54

I don't think most animals (apart from dolphins) have sex for fun, so she's really not missing out on anything.

Original poster
4thfloor · 27/07/2013 15:56

curlew , well that' me told then eh!

OP posts:
BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy · 27/07/2013 15:57

Don't feel sad for her,be thankful that she won't be used by a lust crazy old tom,who will just be there to get his jollies and she'll be left with a brood to raise all by herself whilst old tom shags his way around the neighbourhood.

Original poster
4thfloor · 27/07/2013 15:59

fakebook it's more that she's missing out on being a mum that I feel sad about.

The last female cat I had, had kittens and it was lovely to watch her being a mum cat iyswim

I don't think the cat would be planning on playing barry white and getting the candles out

OP posts:
Longdistance · 27/07/2013 16:01

Male cats have spikes on their penises iirc, to hold the female in position. Thus it sounding like a real joy Hmm

My cat was male, and he rather liked a thermometer being stuck up his botty. Made him purr it did, and he looked like he had a Grin on his face. I still think he was gay to this day flaming cat kept running off, and disappearing

curlew · 27/07/2013 16:01

Sorry! Grin

But it's true. Animals have no sense of loss- they don't know that they would have had the urge to mate and reproduce. Once neutered, they just don't produce the hormones that cause the urges. A real case of "what you've never had you don't miss"! I suppose it would be possible to argue that it's more likely to be cruel to neuter after sexual maturity and reproducing- they might then have a sense of losing something.

digerd · 27/07/2013 16:03

My cat was 9 months when she came into season and we watched her with this Tom cat with an enormous head. She kept crying out as he hurt her several times. They are conditioned to procreate no matter what.
Poor things. He was violent with her- think he bit her neck too hard.

You saved her from being ravaged, be relieved for her.

BristolFashion · 27/07/2013 16:04

We foster cats, often pregnant cats and new mothers, and while some seem reasonably content, many more are horribly stressed, exhausted and irritable. Then their boy kittens grow up and bully them. She isn't missing much....

ouryve · 27/07/2013 16:11

From what I've seen, sex really isn't all that for a female cat.

StuntGirl · 27/07/2013 16:11

Yes.

BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy · 27/07/2013 16:13

Sex isn't all that for most female mammals.

internationallove985 · 27/07/2013 16:15

I don't think it's fair to get a cat neutered they should be given the joy of having at least 1 litter or adorable kittens. How would a women feel if she wanted children but she couldn't have them because she was sterillised. Animals have as much right to procreate as we do.

I await a flaming. xxx

TiggyD · 27/07/2013 16:16

How would you get a condom on a tom cat?

Or would all cats be allowed to have a litter of 6 kittens. That would mean in 4 years 3 months the whole planet would be covered in a 2 foot deep pussy layer.

YABU.

curlew · 27/07/2013 16:18

"I don't think it's fair to get a cat neutered they should be given the joy of having at least 1 litter or adorable kittens. How would a women feel if she wanted children but she couldn't have them because she was sterillised. Animals have as much right to procreate as we do.
I await a flaming. xxx"

Too stupid to flame- best ignored.

BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy · 27/07/2013 16:19

I'm sure all the cats protection charities would appreciate yet more kittens,the females of which go on to produce more etc etc.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 27/07/2013 16:20

Sex is painful as Tom cats have barbs on their penis. They also bite the queens neck whilst at it.

Kittens are lovely but nursing a litter is exhausting. They take everything leaving behind a cat eating like a horse yet with ribs and spine on show.

She really won't have missed anything.

Shitsinger · 27/07/2013 16:24

My cat used to hump cushions so I was quite happy to get him snipped!

He always had this strange look on his face like" what the hell am I doing?" Grin

MissStrawberry · 27/07/2013 16:29

I had my cat spayed when she was young as she came into season at 5 months old and I often wondered if she missed out on being a mum when I saw the way she carried her toy around.

We have 2 young cats now from the RSPCA and the boy was already neutered by his previous abandoning owners and the girl was spayed by the RSPCA. They have a great life with us and probably don't know they are "missing out."

dancingwithmyselfandthecat · 27/07/2013 16:38

My boy cat discovered the joy of playing with himself a few days before he was done (I am no prude, it was already booked in). He's never had an urge to mate, but he does still love playing with himself. There is nothing more disturbing than dozing off with a cat purring on your tummy, only to wake up and discover that his "little friend" is being given a good clean and his purring was maybe due to it!

WorraLiberty · 27/07/2013 16:38

Spaying reduces the risk of cancer anyway

Original poster
4thfloor · 27/07/2013 16:40

MissStrawberry mine does that to, with a little bear , she sort of looks after it like a kitten, picks it up at the neck, snuggles it

And she also 'presents' when she gets tickled towards her lower back.

So I'm not sure if the instinct truely goes away?

I know I'm proberly projecting human emotions on to an animal however they aren't stupid, how do we know they don't feel sad and feel something is missing because they didn't get to have their own babies.

Looks like I'm sort of on my own with this theory though

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 27/07/2013 16:45

Well what's the alternative to cats feeling sad that they can't give birth?

If you hadn't have had her spayed, would you be willing to keep 9 or 10 kittens OP?

And don't forget their kittens and their kitten's kittens and so on....

Or would you indulge your cat's broodiness, then dump the kittens on other people/cat's homes?

Meerkatwhiskers · 27/07/2013 16:46

Have you heard cats having sex? With the aforementioned barbed penis and the noise they make I'm thinking it's no picnic so yabu. My cat is also a virgin and has not experienced the thrill of cat sex and although as she is a gorgeouls longhaired tortie and I often wonder how gorgeous her kittens would have been it's for the best (not least as we would potentially have 8 cats now instead of 1 lol).

MissStrawberry · 27/07/2013 16:50

Does it WorraLiberty?

Shame it didn't work for my cat as she was diagnosed with cancer at 17.11 and died at 18.9 Sad.

4thfloor - I had a conversation with a man in the park about the thought process of a bee so I don't think you are daft to wonder about cat's maternal instincts Smile.