Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this party invitation is rude

100 replies

SlumberingDormouse · 27/07/2013 11:25

Friends are having a housewarming party. They both work full time and are comfortably off. The Fb invitation states that they will only be providing Sainsbury's basics pizzas, which they got in the reduced aisle for about 50p each a month ago and have been freezing ever since Hmm. They've asked everyone to bring their own booze as well as they won't be providing any. AIBU to think that making a point of being this frugal on a party invitation is rude?

OP posts:
thistlelicker · 27/07/2013 13:08

Not judging at all that he has a 100k trust fund are op?

LukewarmBath · 27/07/2013 13:12

They sound very tight, and I wouldn't go. I'm not keen on parties where the hosts decide they want a party but they want everyone else to provide the food and drink. If I decide to host a party then I fully expect to feed and water everyone. If they want to bring something along, then great, but I would never hold a party and expect the guests to subsidise it.

I got invited to a BBQ earlier this summer where the hosts said that everyone had to bring their own food and drink and 'don't forget ketchup or any other sauces you like to have with your meal'.

I didn't go

doingthesplitz · 27/07/2013 13:12

If they were students or a very young couple in their first place then it would probably be okay.

But if they're older, both have good jobs etc I think it's a bit of an odd way to word a party invite. There really does come a stage where asking people to 'bring a bottle' is a bit off. Most people once they get past the permanently skint, living on a shoestring stage, will probably automatically bring some wine or beer if they're going to be eating at somebody's house.
And while it would be okay to say 'we're inviting a crowd over for pizza and booze next Sat', specifiying that it's cheap pizza and booze won't necessarily be provided, well as I said, okay for a bunch of students but otherwise a bit rude.

Viviennemary · 27/07/2013 13:16

I don't think it's that bad. People with £100K trust funds aren't probably the type to throw money away. Or else they'd be broke. Most people do take a bottle but I think the hosts should provide some drinks and food apart from 50p pizzas. So maybe you've got a point. Don't go if it annoys you that much.

KristinaM · 27/07/2013 13:20

£100k doesn't go very far these days

Have you seen annuity rates?

mrsjay · 27/07/2013 13:38

look on the bright side it could be worse it could be iceland pizza Grin

Shropshiremummy2b · 27/07/2013 13:54

I wholly agree with Lukewarmbath.

If I couldnt afford a party, but wanted to show off my house, i'd say 'come and have a nose round my new pad then let's go for a celebratory drink in my new local'. Simple.

If I was the OP, I would have supper first then go to the party armed with a bottle or two and leave the 'hosts' to eat their mangey pizza.

OhThePlacesYoullGo · 27/07/2013 13:58

Haha that could have been us... we invited our friends for a housewarming and the invite said something along the lines of off Sainsburys basic pizzas galore, dodgy cocktail sausages and a handful of nuts are provided, bring your own drinks.

And you know what none of our friends thought it was cheap or weird or whatnot. Why? Probably because they are our friends. Why do so many people on AIBU not seem to particularly like their friends?

Still18atheart · 27/07/2013 14:05

This party sounds fab but then I'm just about to graduate from university

NameThatTuna · 27/07/2013 14:07

Really? Some of you are saying by asking to bring your own bottle is a bit off?

It's a house party, not a bar/wedding/christening etc

Can you imagine how much that would cost?

Crates of lager/bitter, spirits and wine, plus the mixers. On top of the food too!

Is only be pissed off if there was no music. Can't have a party without some choooooons! Grin

NameThatTuna · 27/07/2013 14:10

Is = I'd

Typos galore today

ButchCassidy · 27/07/2013 14:11

How was it worded?
What's wrong with Basic Pizza?? I dont understand why food from the basic range would put you off attending?
How do you know what he spends his money on?

diddl · 27/07/2013 14:21

Maybe he's used the trust fund for the house?

Or you do you mean that he earns 100k pa from the trustfund?

Still18atheart · 27/07/2013 14:39

The boyb thing doesnt bother me in the slightest
The value pizza wouldn't bother me. BUT I would be a bit Hmm about the stating of the origin of the pizza on the invite.

LilacPeony · 27/07/2013 23:56

Make sure the housewarming present you take is from the 99p shop.

HooverFairy · 28/07/2013 00:15

Perhaps they are trying to be humorous by using irony? A play on the 'all fur coat and no knickers' concept? Posh house, no money? They probably consider their friends as close enough to get the irony.

LayMizzRarb · 28/07/2013 00:32

How dare he have a trust fund. They're obviously dreadful people and that will be magnified in your prescence. Just don't go; stop sneering and move on.

wigglesrock · 28/07/2013 06:26

I think it's just a joke - how well do you know them? does it sound like them? To be fair I think it's quite funny, but without the wording its hard to tell.

Maybe it's a ruse? - maybe they've FB this invite to weed out the friends that will moan, backstab and the real party will be with those who just want a bit of a nosy around the house and a drink.

melika · 29/07/2013 10:01

Go and leave early if it's true.

firesidechat · 29/07/2013 11:44

Nothing wrong with bringing your own drinks to a house party. Wouldn't you bring a bottle anyway?

However comfortably off you think some people look, buying a house leave most of us totally skint.

A £100k trust fund isn't that huge by most standards. I assume he can't touch the capital and interest rates are miniscule at the moment.

I find it hard to believe that anyone would write an invitation like that, even on FB. Surely they would have shown form for this sort of thing in the past.

You don't seem to like them very much, so just decline the invite.

KellyElly · 29/07/2013 13:16

People always bring a bottle to a party without being instructed surely? I would never invite people to a party and not have some wine/beer to offer them. Do people just provide then venue these days Grin. I was invited to a BBQ where it was stated the hosts would only be providing mixers and crisps and the guests were asked to bring their own meat and alcohol. I thought it was quite off and a bit rude tbh.

alwaysinamuckingfuddle · 29/07/2013 13:31

I'd go with a bottle of Tesco Value Cola... Grin

DownstairsMixUp · 29/07/2013 13:34

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

pigletmania · 29/07/2013 14:03

Bloody hell you don't put tat on an invite. Yes get some sainsnurys value booze and party food to go with it

Witt · 01/08/2013 10:35

Did we ever find out the actual wording?