About DD / Mil / Sil and the doctor

[TopsyCat]

Name changed for this just in case! I genuinely don't know if I am being PFB or whether my Mil and Sil are being rude and a little bit mean. It's a little silly I'm afraid.

DD has had a nasty cold lately, it's lasted all week and she's really bunged up (if you can believe it in this weather!) and we went to see the doctor about it yesterday. All fine, but good to see the doctor for piece of mind.

Anyway, I told mil and sil about it over lunch, said all was fine and that she didn't need antibiotics. Mil then said not under her breath but very quietly 'that's a change.' And sil laughed and said 'don't mean to be rude (which is rude anyway!- topsy cat) but dd does always seem to be on antibiotics for any little thing. You seem to be going overboard.'

Ok, I have been the dr a few times lately, but once was for conjunctivitis and also it's up to the dr to give dd what she thinks is best? Surely there's nothing wrong with going to the dr when dd is sick? And anyway, it's none of mil and sil's business!!! Dd is neatly 4. Thoughts please!

Not very helpful really.

Mil has 7 children and Sil has 3 and is currently pregnant with twins, in comparison - not that I think they don't value their children, just that conceiving was easier for them, which they've admitted.

I find this rather uncomfortable really, its like you are saying you are the "better" Mother because you are more concerned and vigilant over your child's health than them because your DD is so "precious" because you had difficulty conceiving her...all children are precious to their parents, regardless of how long it took to conceive them.... I know you have said this isn't what you meant but it does come across like that.

Sweetest, no she's not,she has already apologised and explained that comment.

And to some people it comes across as they have more children so are a bit more used to childhood minor illness and bumps so don't fret as much as the op.

The same as the vast majority of parents with more than one child.

well, you were OTT taking her to the GP for a cold. But your MIL/SIL were rude. Now you know they are critical, perhaps refrain from telling them about DD's trips to GP?

Perhaps you could regard this as a positive, as your DD is a. well, and b.SIL clearly feels comfortable enough with you to speak honestly and openly to you. It's better they tell you what they think than have it smirked about behind your back, in my opinion

AnnabelleLee what do you specialise in, other than being annoying on forums?

I'm guessing English lit mamma

ah now, this is just a hobby, not a calling.

I'm a neurologist broadly, with a clinical sub-speciality. But I'm a SAHM right now.

Are you a psychiatrist? (Having never met you, I can imagine you might be...)

Oh you beat me to my post!

Sounds like I wasn't far off tho!

My brain hurts!

Neurology...chest infections in infants...hmmm....

I've even taken my PFB to the doctors with the flu and I'm a doctor!

On a side note a neurologist is nothing like a psychiatrist.

Neurology...chest infections in infants...hmmm....

both covered in the learning what gets done, y'know. Plus a rake of children myself does give one a little knowledge.

Anyway, far too much about me already. OP's inlaws were damn rude to say what they did, which is the salient point.

neurologist = minimum 7 years general chestinfectionsininfants relevant training plus another many/few years specialist on top, so er, relatively okay to comment I'd say

a side note, I agree that parents' instinct is very important and if you do have concerns you should go to the doctor/A&E/whatever. I tend to avoid doctors, being brought up in a household where I was not unwell unless a limb had dropped off and an arterial spurt ensued, but when I had a real sense of 'something's not right' with my own DC I was very much correct in my feeling and it was all instinct

but all too often I meet mothers who go for EVERYTHING and waste time for those who are genuinely sick. I met a mum the other day who was going to take her otherwise healthy normal baby DD to A&E because she vomited once

fine line

x posts

yes they were rude I would avoid them more

Aw, don't tell them in future. I am more relaxed with 2 children than I was when i only had one. probably due to having more experience of colds etc and yes, having less focus on the one child i suppose. my dd2 aged 4 has had about 4 doses of ab's due to ear infections and I would say my docs are very very anti antibiotics.

The thing is a child who gets lots of colds might have underlying issues so I can totally understand you taking her. Dd spent the first 3 years in and out of the GPs for this reason. She ended up on an inhaler for a couple of years after a nasty chest infection which started off as simple colds but one after the other for months.

We've just been back again for gut issues. It took 3 GP appointments to be referred to a paediatrician after 7 months of diarrhea and 2 of vomiting. Turns out she is constipated and Dr suggested a lactose intolerance. He also picked up a heart murmur so she's been referred to a cardiologist.
I left the first GP appointment feeling like it was all in my head and even DH suggested I was worrying too much. You know your child and you know when they are not right. It is far better to disturb the GP over a non issue than to miss something important.

Fwiw your in laws are rude. I'd explain that having a child who is often sick, even if its minor, is stressful and talking to them about it helps relieve that stress and put things in perspective but you'll try to keep it to yourself in future.