About DD / Mil / Sil and the doctor

[TopsyCat]

Name changed for this just in case! I genuinely don't know if I am being PFB or whether my Mil and Sil are being rude and a little bit mean. It's a little silly I'm afraid.

DD has had a nasty cold lately, it's lasted all week and she's really bunged up (if you can believe it in this weather!) and we went to see the doctor about it yesterday. All fine, but good to see the doctor for piece of mind.

Anyway, I told mil and sil about it over lunch, said all was fine and that she didn't need antibiotics. Mil then said not under her breath but very quietly 'that's a change.' And sil laughed and said 'don't mean to be rude (which is rude anyway!- topsy cat) but dd does always seem to be on antibiotics for any little thing. You seem to be going overboard.'

Ok, I have been the dr a few times lately, but once was for conjunctivitis and also it's up to the dr to give dd what she thinks is best? Surely there's nothing wrong with going to the dr when dd is sick? And anyway, it's none of mil and sil's business!!! Dd is neatly 4. Thoughts please!

Presumably it was antibiotic drops for the conjunctivitis? I don't think three doses is excessive actually for a 4 yr old but you didn't need to take her on this occasion.

I take offence at your reference to the number of children mil and sil have though. You say you don't mean that they value their children less - but then why mention that at all unless that's what you really think. I have three children all conceived easily. Take it from me, that does NOT mean I'm casual about their health.

northern-- i think she means that becasue they have more they are less likely to worry about the little things, becasue theve seen it before.. had more practise.. know through expreance. i dont think she meant they value thier health any less.

youcat-- the other op didnt say they where cured fully though.. which is why it puzzled me. but i am also of the mind set that anti b can be taken to freely, also beleive the more you have em, the less godo they make when you need it.

i do think the doctors for a cold is a bit silly, but only you know what she was like. also i agree stop telling them stuff, they have no time to be rude to you then.

i take it back. i just re read it. recovered. stand corrected.

Very rude, but also really no need to go to GP with a cold unless there are underlying health issues.

I'm so sorry Northern Lurker, I really didn't mean to offend and I know my mil and sil would bend over backwards for all their children's health. I suppose I mentioned that perhaps because I was jealous of their ease with which they had children. Really, really didn't mean to imply that those who conceive easily are slack with health. Cannot stress that enough. at wording that sentence so badly.

FWIW, there are a LOT of Awful bugs around atm, CP, scarlet fever, horrid and scary viruses.

If your DD has had conjunctivitis and has had infections, then why on earth wouldn't you go to the Dr.

They were rude, and you have every right to seek medical reassurance if that's what you want to do. That's what they are there for.

Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise!

They were rude and snidey. My DD had loads of antibiotics by the age of four, she was plagued by ear and throat infections.

OP, please ignore posters who are ridiculing you for taking your DD to the doctor. The official advice is that parents of small children should seek medical advice if they are concerned. You don't have to be 100% sure something is wrong.

This is because the picture can change more quickly with young children. I presume that you weren't sure it was a cold. Ignoring the beginning of a chest infection would have placed your DD at risk. I get it.

In future, don't discuss health issues with extended family. They don't sound very nice, anyway!

Ah thats not actual serious advice. 1st time parents are concerned on average 7 times a day for the first 3 months.
And healthy children do not need to go to the dr for a cold. Thats not ridicule, thats sensible and helpful advice.

McFluffy - I assume your child was much younger than 4 at that point though? For a newborn I doubt anyone would argue with getting checked but by 4 it is overkill IMO.

DS was the same with bronchiolitis (was in for 10 days very ill) and has a lot of chest problems now but I still wouldn't take him to the GP for a cold unless he was showing signs of anything more than just a cold.

The simple truth is that GPs don't have the time/resources to see people who just have a cold.

Jeez.. is this a thread full of Doctors receptionists?

So she went cos her DD was poorly, so bloody what. It turned out to be a cold, but after a week, a BAD one, by all accounts. Add to this she's had recent illness, and a history of ear infections. She's only 4.

That's what we have the NHS for, to make appointment if concerned and go.

You don't get a rebate if you don't use the NHS, and you don't get a medal either.

FWIW, DS is 7, been to see Dr 3 times in his life, we just don't do Dr's, but i'll not berate someone for using a service!

Annabelle It is actual serious advice, actually! It takes three minutes to check the airways and listen to the chest. Most surgeries would rather do it than risk something bigger developing. Maybe you should stick to something you know about.

Your il's were very rude! I wouldn't be telling them anything like this in the future.

My dd is 7 and has had ab's 3 or 4 times, she rarely gets ill bless her. Ds is 18 months and had 6 lots of ab's at least. But he has (unofficially as they won't diagnose until he's 2)asthma and tends to get a chest infection with every cold. Horrible to see such tiny ones struggling for breath.

My doctor has specifically told me that they would rather see under-fives and it be nothing- they have all seen little people who should have been taken to see them earlier. I think boasting about how little you have used the doctor/ had sick days/ had anti-biotics is akin to boasting about not having pain relief in labour- there are no prizes!

I have a child who at the age of 4 would have had far more anti-biotic than the average child..... But he suffered from chronic ear infections - and unless I bought one of those thingy's to look in his ears, I had no way of knowing how bad they were.

If your child has had anti-biotics prescribed then she obviously needed it.

It's a personal choice about taking a child to the dr, tell them to bugger off- they don't know your child as well as you, and it is understandable to want to check in my opinion, but at the end of the day - yours is the only opinion that matters.

I know plenty thank you, and your advice is rubbish. Maybe stick to something you know about, faberge?

Your MIL and SIL were rude so yanbu there.

Also yanbu to take your daughter to the gp if you were concerned about her health. A gp would rather see an under 5 than risk them getting ill. Children can deteriorate far more quickly than adults.

I used to be a mother who would not go the gp, but ds was ill so many times as a baby I am now super cautious. You know your child best op

Your ils are rude and they have obviously been discussing it between themselves. I have taken dc1 to the doctors with a cold before I was concerned because he has had nasty chest infections before and I know how quickly it can develop. The doctor was lovely about it and told me to take him back anytime I'm concerned. I don't think 3 lots of antibiotics in 4 years is excessive anyway.

Annabelle,

Are you a GP?

No, she's a GP's receptionist

I am a doctor, but not a GP.

What sort are you?

The sensible sort.