We've just come back to the UK for a holiday. We spent a few days at my FILs house and then a week at my Mum and Dads.
During that week we've been out and about meeting and catching up with friends and so have been out a lot. The washing machine has been on every day at Mums insistence and as I've been out she's done my ironing. I would have quite happily done it when I could fit it in.
Every morning they've been up 'looking' after the three kids. They didn't have to, the kids are quite happy to get their own breakfast bars and juice and play quietly. One gets up around 7am, the other 8am and the third we usually wake when we get up. I haven't asked them to so any of this and they have made no comment. We've been waking at any where between 8am and 9am.
We are of for a week to see other relatives and got up this morning and got ready quietly and left early, leaving them to sleep so we could get on the road as it is going to be a 6-7 hour journey. We got about 3/4 hour away and I had a face book message to return immediately as mum is having a panic attack because we had left with out saying goodbye. When I phoned to say where we were I got a mouthful to say how inconsiderate we were to leave with out saying goodbye and they had looked after our kids for us and ironed and done all sorts for us.
We've eaten out most days and I've done a top up shop for them. I got them an orchid and wine to say thank you.
We've just had to drive 3/4 of an hour back to say goodbye. I was going to ring when we stopped and when we got there. We will see them in a weeks time.
We're we inconsiderate?
AIBU?
Was this really inconsiderate?
RantyMcRantpants · 26/07/2013 08:23
If you told your M+D you were leaving early and said your goodbyes last night I don't think it is BU. however of they were expecting to see you in the morning for finally goodbyes it is VU. Big bunch of flowered deliver to M+Ds house I thinks 
Ooh, sorry, I got really confused by your later message!
Better retract all my rants! 
I don't think you were inconsiderate or unreasonable at all.
Everyone's families are different. My mum would have made sure she was up no matter what time we were leaving and got my dad out of bed to say bye to us. She would also have made sure I had a picnic for the journey and that I had everything I needed.
DH's parents on the other hand, well, they probabaly wouldn't have been able to put us up in the first place 
Enjoy the rest of your visits Ranty and make sure you wake her up next time!!
Ofgs of course you weren't being inconsiderate, the opposite. And to throw back we dd ths that and other is out f order. 
I think you were inconsiderate, not necessarily about what they did while you were there (my parents or IL's would do the same for us, although thankfully we live near enough that we don't generally stay overnight with them), but about leaving without saying goodbye or at least telling them exactly what your plans were.
Equally I think your mum 'having a panic attack' and insisting you turn round was way OTT.
Tbh in theory I could imagine this sort of thing happening with my mum, except I'd know better than to sneak out without telling her - even in my twenties when I lived at home and went out clubbing she liked me to wake her at 3am so she knew I was home safely .
Perhaps a bit more communication next time would help.
Oh and families do things for each other, no?
Not all families, no 
. It's lovely that so many do though. Not at all bitter that no one in either mine or DH's family has ever looked after DS, apart from one hour so I could go to a funeral.
Sounds like OP isn't ungrateful though, she's just got a tricky Mum!
Wow, you come back (presumably from overseas) for a holiday, spend your time out and about visiting other friends when you are actually at your Mum and Dad's and then dump the kids on them for a week to nick off and see other family? I'm sure they feel really, really important 
.
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Actually, having had parents who lived overseas, I guess your Mum treasures every minute and that is maybe why she reacted so strangely. It really does change the relationship when every minute is 'quality time'. I hated saying goodbye however, and once cried for 1.5 hours on the flight home .
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