To have confronted this poor excuse for a mother?

[TeddyPickleStick]

So I'm sat at work, window open. I hear a commotion outside so get up and look out the window. There is a heavily pregnant woman with two small children - a boy of around 3 and a girl of maybe 4.

She is screaming at the boy .. ' you fucking piece of shit, what the fuck are you doing? ' and ' Come on you little prick ' etc etc.

I shout down ' Don't do that! Don't say that! ' in complete shock. ' Who the fuck are you? Fuck off ' she shouts back.

I then deliberated on what to do. I felt really angry so ran down the stairs onto the street but she had gone into the bank. And then I ground to a halt and couldn't work out what to do.

So did nothing more. I mean, what CAN you do? Only a bit of swearing after all eh? I have no idea what I would have done if I'd managed to confront her anyway.

I detest this, really hate it. If you swear at your children like this, in the street, then you are a shit parent.

Aren't you?

Don't minimise abusive behaviour then if you don't want it mooted that you may be an abuse minimiser. Don't leap on my sentences and hook onto some irrelevant. The focus should be on what she said surely?

I didn't place my own little interpretation on her words. I a bit surprised at how sad this made me feel though - as in , sad for those children. I'm a grown woman , I know this happens day in day out. Just never nice to actually witness it

spotscotch you ever been racially absused?
Ever had the police stop you 3 times in one week for walking the dog at 8pm?

Ever had a teacher tell you be is surprised you are in his class because black boys normally don't work hard?

Ever been called the n word whilst playing football? For 80 minutes?

Ever had your school mates ask you if you carry a knife and rob people because that's what black boys do?

Ever been accused of being in a gang?

Ever been sent KKK pictures on your phone by your "friends" because they think it would be funny to see what you do?

No? Well, that's my DS1 life. No doubt ds2 will have the same experiences.
So when you have been through all that, you come back and tell me how that's equivalent to 10 seconds of swearing at a child.

See, this is a regular thing. It's not the same as seeing 10 seconds of shit behaviour. And no idea what happened after that.

You can actually call me what you want. You can call me an abuse apologist til the end of time.
I took my nephew out of an abusive situation.
I reported my ds2 friends family to SS because he had black eyes and broken wrists on a regular basis.

I volunteer with families who can't afford to feed their kids. Who can't afford books or school uniform.
I volunteer in my community to help families who don't actually know what to do or where to turn.
Who no doubt look rough, swear a bit in general conversation, came from families that were not so great and as a result need help with the basics of parenting.

MrsD works with families in need. She cares about helping people, about getting people the help they need.
There are a lot of families to scared to ask for help. They think SS will remove their kids.
I'm pretty sure mrsD tries to help their families. So do I.

But yeah. We are the bad people. The abuse apologists.
Because we didnt give you a fucking pat on the back for doing fuck all. Actually no, you did judge her entire life. And then start a thread about it.

And the person here witnessing child abuse every fucking day is not an abuse apologist. Or enabler.

I'm glad I ain't part of your screwed up little universe.

In that context, yes - it makes sense. But it didn't (to me at least) come across as you defending yourself, it read (to me) as an attack on the OP.

But, if it wasn't then I absolutely understand the relevance.

I think it was the 'what do you know about abuse' that seemed a bit antagonistic, along with all the 'you did nothing' stuff.

Err of course she was the child's mother! Ha - who said she might not have been?! Do we think she may have been some sort of childminder? Or err a family member? One who saw fit to call her charges / nephew / whatev a piece of shit and a fucking prick?

But the act in itself is what makes her a crap parent. You could be the most luffly and fluffy parent, who only uses the most careful language all of the rest of the time. The moment you speak to your kids in that way, you are a crap parent. Yes, with help you may be able to overcome anger issues or whatever it is that you need. But speaking to your kid in that way is inherently shit parenting. In the same way that a man who gives his wife a smack round the chops is a crap husband, even though he may have lost control, have been drunk, or had a good old cry about it afterwards.

Oh and whether or not it was their mother is irrelevant tbh. She was someone who has obviously been trusted to be a carer for those children.

teddy please cut and paste where I or anyone has defended this woman?

Do you actually not understand that every single person is saying what she did was wrong?

Are you not actually reading that?

Why is it screwed up to object to children being abused like this? How odd. I don't want a pat on the back for doing fuck all either.

Some of you are quite mad. Really. I'm sorry for your children if you think this sort of thing needs explaining away as a 'snapshot'

Anyway - I really AM going now and shall hide the thread. I don't want to go round in any more circles.

But I stand by all I said and I hope some of you maybe look at your attitudes towards the abuse of children and err ... Stop minimising it

Ciao!

You did the right thing OP and I hope if you ever see anything like that again, you do the same thing.

There is no excuse for effing and blinding at a small child like that on the street.

That is how abusers starve their children to death, beat them to death, make their lives a misery because some bleeding heart will come along and make an excuse for them.

If they are questioned about it time and time again, it will be less easy to abuse children. Question them, draw attention to them all the time.

Well done. you deserve a medal.

Yes, Kirjava. Maybe that is the best place for it.

Please point out the minimizing.

What's that? You can't? Because it doesn't actually exist?

Funny thing, how people are so quick to make up stuff but amazingly reluctant to read responses and answer them in a proper manner.

Please don't feel sorry for my kids, they are amazing. Totally amazing. My dd is doing the volunteer program with me this summer. My ds1 is volunteering with young boys in our area that need a "big brother"
So, no need to pity them.

They actually have common sense and the ability to debate a subject without resorting to making things up and refusing to address any rational points.

No Tantrums, I have not been through any of that, it sounds absolutely shit for your poor DS. But neither have I ever been sworn at in such a horrendous way by my mum/carer.

As I said in my very first post. There is absolutely no way of knowing what life is like for those children. Of course we are not psychic. But deep down, if you had to put money on it, would you say that you honestly think that that is the first time and only time ever that they have been/will be exposed to that sort of verbal abuse? Seriously, if you really think about it, what are the chances?

Anyway, am bowing out now, as I feel circles are now being made.

I'll admit I don't have any professional qualifications or experience in the field of 'parenting.' I'm just an ordinary parent but the behaviour of the woman described by the OP (whether she was the children's mother or not) was disgusting.

There is (quite rightly) zero tolerance for abusive behaviour by men towards women on this forum and yet when people describe abusive behaviour towards children there are often people who won't condemn it. It makes me and

The point is, I don't know.

I can't know. And neither can anyone else.

Being subjected to racial abuse isn't comparable to the 10 second incident today.

Both are very horrible, hurtful things. But not comparable.

justgive please copy and paste where any poster did not condem her behaviour.
Just find one example of anybody saying what she did was ok?

This is the problem with this thread. What's the point of saying anything if people are ignoring what has been written?

X posts MrsD

Seems to be happening a lot at the moment.

I need to think and type quicker

Mrsdevere.

If a poster came on here and said she'd witnessed a woman having the shit kicked out of her by her husband on the pavement outside her street would you respond by saying 'you can't judge him', 'he may be a loving husband behind closed doors' etc?