To think Blackpool is a bit shit

[Cutitup]

Just came back from Blackpool and it was utter shit. Why haven't the council there made improvements and made it a decent place to visit?

There is hardly anywhere halfway reasonable to eat, it looks completely broken and unloved. There is just so much potential for development and it could be the "Orlando" of England. Instead, it's just shite.

I've come away thinking I don't need to take my children to Africa to appreciate what they've got: just take them to Blackpool.

On a good note, the beach is very nice. Shame about the drunks weeing all over the stairs to the beach and leaving beer cans everywhere. I saw broken Britain in Blackpool and I shall never go back again.

I have one fond memory of Blackpool, going there in Winter for an FA Cup 1st round tie and seeing my team (the mighty Hednesford Town) pull off a giant killing.

Yes indeed. Their ground was a right shithole and all

I haven't been to Blackpool for 30 years.

I'm going tomorrow

Only to take the kids to the pleasure beach though. At 9 and 13 I think they might enjoy it?

Do they still have those zillions (impression at 7) of shops selling things made out of shells?

insancerre

Not been in the new Blossoms yet. Too annoyed by the bloody road works on Woodlands Road. Dh will be gutted about the pool tables. Never been in the Institute, should make an effort.

tanfastic its bloody great for people watching oh so true. I remember watching two girls (18-20 years). Falling over drunk in the street, paramedics were called but they were abusive to them. The ambulance parked over the street to keep an eye on them until they finally fell asleep passed out

This was at 7.30pm on a Friday night.

OK, I think I feel ready to recount the full horror of the weekend in Blackpool in 1999 now.

Got there at a respectable hour, about 11am Saturday morning. Went straight to a public house, I think it was called The Clock House.... the something House anyway. Walked in to find a group of stags and hens simulating various sex acts on the floors and tables. We only wanted a quiet sandwich. :( One of then men puked into a pint glass and re-drank it. I did not eat my sandwich.

Went to get "settled in" at Uncle Brian's B&B. Got shown to our rooms. Mine and my friend's en suite room was a room with a double bed and some room to shin down the side of it, to enter the en-suite bathroom which was part of the original room cordoned off with chipboard. Used condom in sink and pubes around taps. Brian fished it out with his hands. Needless to say, we did not partake in Brian's famous breakfast.

Went out on the night, starting off in a Yates's (spread over three storeys, no less) Almost immediately attracted a group of men that can only be described as unfortunate-looking. One of them asked me and my friend how old we were (we were 20) My friend said "42" sarcastically. He looked really shocked and went "NO WAY! I'd have only said you were like 30!" Again, we were twenty. Suppose it served us right. Some of the hen's guttermeat mates had ordered her a stripper. However Yates's policy wouldn't allow him to "perform" in the main area so they hustled us upstairs into a closed area and the stripper jiggled his bits at us up there. Stuff happened with baby oil. He seemed to be enjoying it a bit too much IYSWIM and because we were in a cordoned off area it seemed seedy and rank instead of the kitsch fun it might have been if it were in the main bar. Grim.

So on that note, me and my other snobby friend ran off to Flamingos. We had a marvellous time. Got back to Uncle Brian's to find the hen and assembled guttermeat slagging us off to Brian for being snooty cunts. Some squaddies were there. Night time activity took place, the hen participating. The next day she shat herself because she found out that the squaddie she had shagged was in the same barracks as her FIANCE. Promptly rang her fiancé and told him that she'd been raped by a squaddie. :( Big argument ensued between hens trying to persuade hen to come clean but she wouldn't because Dazza would kick off. She said she'd just let him think it but not let him call the police so no-one would be hurt in the long run. 'Twas awful. We refused to go to the wedding. Group splintered off.

Me and splinter group went to La Fontana Italian restaurant and had a decent time in there then we moseyed up to the Pleasure Beach and had a go on all the rides which would have been nice if we didn't have a false rape allegation clouding events.

Went back to Uncle Brian's to get our things and leave the area. Found Uncle Brian wrestling with an irish bloke in the front garden. Paid up and drove like a bat out of hell back down the M6.

"We only wanted a quiet sandwich" and "Get settled in"

I realise that a weekend in Eastbourne would probably have been more to my tastes.

I'm going tomorrow, after reading this slightly apprehensive!

Marmalade I'm just picking my jaw up off the table

That is an amazing tale. But feel sorry for the squaddie. Did you actually attend the wedding in the end?

No I bloody didn't! I doubt the squaddie was any the wiser tbh. She wouldn't "let" her fiancé ring the police for obvious reasons. She has never told the truth, AFAIK. I've never spoken to her since.

marmalade, that's fucking awful.

thistlelicker do not under any circumstances go to the Walkabout in Blackpool. If any ok pubs occur to me I'll let you know drawing a blank so far

Ooh I just figured out which pub you went to - the Counting House, near North Pier.

That's the one!

we went to an italian restaurant in blackpool recommended at the 60's dump b&b we were staying at

quite nice :) very sickly but never seen it on a menu since

omg I was eating my lunch whilst reading that post marmalade!

Sorry Owl!

Grim innit?!

well it is more of a brunch I suppose

that must take time and a lot of therapy to recover from

a few years ago there were plans to make Blackpool the UK's Las Vegas

how i laughed and laughed

strange how it seems to have fallen through

marmalade you'd have trouble going to walkabout....it caught fire a few weeks back.
Does make me that the poster for the aussie bbq is still visible.

sorry meant whenshewasbad not marmalade

marmalade Blackpool has changed a hell of a lot since 1999.

Walkabout went up in smoke the other week.

filimou tanfastic Walkabout caught fire

Couldn't have happened to a nicer place [evil]. Was it an accident?