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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to keep DD off school because she's knackered and it's going to be hot?

187 replies

ladymontdore · 21/07/2013 21:00

She's in reception and exhausted. They are also meant to be going for a walk and a picnic, forecast is for 31degs!!
Also think she could do with a bit of mummy time, last chance tomorrow when dd2 is at preschool!
I would present it as 'I'm not letting you go' not 'it's a treat'. and she may really want to go on the picnic anyway!

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2013 13:39

This sort of sentence "absolutely a quiet mummy day where she can stay cool in the house or a paddling pool and mummy can make sure she drinks plenty, and get mummy to herself, is acceptable" makes me so annoyed!

jamdonut · 22/07/2013 13:40

I dunno....it just would never have occurred to me, when my children were the same age, to let them stay home for "mummy time",regardless of the weather we were having.

I find that really strange.But that's me.

OP you do what you think best.But I personally feel ,even at that age, it makes school seem "optional".

RussiansOnTheSpree · 22/07/2013 13:41

Owl it's more - the attitude 'it's only a bit of heat, you'll be fine, it's hotter in (insert name of country the person speaking thinks is hotter - possibly incorrectly)' is exactly the one the idiot who let my DD2 get so bad she blacked out, injured herself falling to the floor, and had to be blue lighted to hospital, displayed. So it is quite upsetting to see people dismissing concerns about the heat. I'm married to a man who has NO issues with the heat even though he is not a skinny minnie like me and my girls. But he has always appreciated that people with different physiologies get affected by the heat in different ways. It just makes me sad that so many people take the 'it's not a problem for me therefore it shouldn't be a problem for anyone' attitude, you know? That might not be your attitude but that's how I (possibly wrongly) read it. It is kind of prevalent on this thread, you know?

ppeatfruit · 22/07/2013 13:42

For the posters who think that a reception DC should "man up".School is NOT legal at under 5 anyway.

The OP should first ask her DD1 if she WANTS to go (and check that the picnic will be in deep shade). Then send her. If not keep her at home FGS "mummytime" is very important IMO.

YADDDNNNBU

impecuniousmarmoset · 22/07/2013 13:43

and the weather makes me as grumpy as fuck. I don't cope well with it at all

Sorry but that did make me laugh . I'm 7 weeks pregnant and miserable as hell too. If it's going to be this hot, I want to be sitting in a cool breeze on a veranda somewhere, with a pool right next to me, not in a hot stuffy English city with not a palm tree in sight.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 22/07/2013 13:43

Y imperial

Can we not credit the op to do what is best for her dd? This isn't a once a week thing. It's end of term shes shattered and some 1:1 with mummy is a nice added bonus to keeping her home if that's what she decides. She's not missing her a level exam. My dd copes well with school and she's tired. And reception wiped her out she was quite ill that year. I can well believe other kids are hanging and would benefit from some time at home.

jamdonut · 22/07/2013 13:44

Also, from a school staff perspective, if many people decided to to that with their children, it renders us to no more than babysitters ,for the children of people who do send them in.

Maybe school should shut in hot weather (like snow days)...but that brings a whole set of other problems.

StuntGirl · 22/07/2013 13:47

I like these kinds of threads, I like to see all the batshit justifications people come up with

OutragedFromLeeds · 22/07/2013 13:50

School is optional in the reception year.

valiumredhead · 22/07/2013 13:51

Yanbu

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2013 13:56

Outraged, it's optional until the age of 5. Once you've agreed to send your child to school, attendance isn't optional.

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2013 13:58

Am I the only person here at the moment who teaches older students (sixth form) who have poor attendance and is thinking, "This is how it starts..."?

OutragedFromLeeds · 22/07/2013 14:00

Of course it is imperial, she could just not send her tomorrow, she has that option.

StuntGirl · 22/07/2013 14:01

Outraged, it's optional until the age of 5. Once you've agreed to send your child to school, attendance isn't optional.

Yep yep. Imperial is bang on, once again.

ppeatfruit · 22/07/2013 14:03

Stuntgirl Do you know that bat shit is very valuable? S'funny I wonder how it was that my DCs were reading writing, counting and speaking english wonderfully BEFORE attending school

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 22/07/2013 14:03

On the same note imperial you must have at some point taught a child who could well have benefited from spending a day at home watching tv eating properly and sleeping instead of being a burnt out exhausted dozey shell sat staring vacantly at your white board!!??

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2013 14:07

But that isn't the point of this thread! The OP was using the weather as an excuse to have one on one time with her daughter!

All I can say is the best students I've taught have always had the best attendance. And yes of course if a child has a proper illness, that's different, but you wouldn't believe the number of students we ring to remind them to come to college whose parents say, "He's 16 now, it's nothing to do with me." Or "He's got a part time job and he's tired." Or "I think he's out with his girlfriend. Why, were you doing something special in class today?"

StuntGirl · 22/07/2013 14:08

On the same note imperial you must have at some point taught a child who could well have benefited from spending a day at home watching tv eating properly and sleeping instead of being a burnt out exhausted dozey shell sat staring vacantly at your white board!!??

I had one of those days at work the other day. Do you think I should tell my boss I'm going home and having quality tv time? I think I'll try it next time. She will def. agree to it.

Ragwort · 22/07/2013 14:13

I think Imperial makes a very good point, so many young people seem to think schoool/work/commitments etc etc are 'voluntary'.

By not sending a child to school because it is too hot and she needs 'mummy time' is a ridiculous attitude.

I had a comittment this morning, it was very hot, it was a tedious duty, I would have loved to stay at home lazying around but I did it. My DS was picked for a team game, again he stood around in the heat waiting but that is was a comittment means.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 22/07/2013 14:17

She wasn't using the weather as an excuse. It was ALL a factor in her child being exhausted and perhaps benefiting from a day at home.

And with regards to work, no we don't do that but perhaps we should. I'm not sure dragging ourselves in whilst being at point of collapse is any use to anyone. All these idiot companies who question every mention of feeling unwell and offering incentives for not calling in sick come in and infect everybody we don't give a shit have no bloody idea how forcing people to do that just prolongs their illness and leads to more time off weeks down the road. Occasionally just occasionally we ALL could benefit and keep the stress and the strain on our bodies and periods of mental breakdowns , by one post day off in a year to reboot.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 22/07/2013 14:18

At bay by one poxy day off

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2013 14:20

But then if everyone feels the same, what would happen?

And if you think we should all be able to take these duvet days, what about the teachers in the school? I'm sure the OP would be pissed off to find there were no teachers at school for the last two days because they thought their children needed time with mummy.

A bit of hot weather hardly brings most (non pregnant or otherwise ill) adults to point of collapse. Surely most people just open the window at work, have a drink of water and get on with it?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 22/07/2013 14:21

Can I ask a question? Serious question, not a piss take or sarcasm or anything like that.
Do you think that taking time off in reception leads to poor attendance in later years? And I mean taking time off because mum thinks they are too tired, or too hot, or missing time with them.

I personally think at 5, children just, for the most part, go to school because their parents get them up and take them there. None of my 3 ever said to me in reception, or year 1 or whatever, I don't want to go to school because its too hot or I would like to spend time with you.

So, people who ridicule the idea that children who's parents don't value the idea of getting them to school every day, parents who think its quite acceptable to go on holiday during term times, who think its ok to keep them off school when it's hot or cold or they are tired or they fancy a day indoors turn into older children who do not think they have to school if they don't fancy it today-how does that work?

At 5 you go to school because mum tells you you have to go to school every single day. Unless you are sick.

If, at 5, mum says "oh it's too hot to go to school" or "I miss you, let's have mummy time today instead of school" how on earth do you learn that actually, attendance is important? And that you actually can't take a day off whenever you feel like it?

How would that work, when you are 9 or 10 and you are used to taking holidays and odd days off for spurious reasons?
How would it change? Because, personally I don't think it can.

If you choose school over HE, then IMHO it is the parents responsibility to ensure they go to school.
And not wonder why at 9, or 11, or 13 why their attendance is so poor and they do not want to go to school.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 22/07/2013 14:24

Yes but they aren't chucked out in a play ground, made to do sports day or pe. They can also get to a tap and have a fresh glass of cold water as opposed to warm water out of bottles at the back of a classroom. And I've been made to work with heat stroke and it was bloody awful.

ImperialBlether · 22/07/2013 14:24

I agree with you, Tantrums. I know some people will think this is mad, but we are creating adults here, adults who will work (hopefully) and form relationships. Everything we do forms that adult.

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