To find people singing at family gatherings and expecting an admiring audience hideously embarrassing?

[Snoot]

I think it's attention seeking and makes me want to claw my own ears and eyes out! It's not the kind of thing my own family would do in a million years. I expect to have to watch children perform but not grown adults! As an in-law I cannot comment openly but OMG I dread it so much I'd avoid the situation if at all possible.

I love it. The best parties have singing.

Depends. Are they really, really good? Do they sing for hours and hours, or just one song? If they are brilliant, stand up, sing one song, sit down and shut up then YABU. If they are mediocre and hog the floor for hours then YADNBU.

I think that you should stop projecting your own repressions onto other people.

I don't know what kinds of context you're talking about, but most family gatherings involving my family or my in-laws are likely to have singing and sometimes people playing (traditional) instruments, whether the occasions are wakes or birthday parties. We are Irish, and it's certainly not unusual in Ireland. Nor is it attention-seeking or about 'performing', it's pretty low-key, just what happens naturally when people get together over a few drinks.

You may of course be talking about something entirely different, with people doing Mariah Carey impressions into a microphone, in which case you have my sympathy...

depends who and what....

if it's anyone under 10, YABU

if its great auntie ethel singing a few wartime vera lynn numbers YABU

if its a drunk un-funny uncle YANBU

if its a 20-something x factor wanabe who can't sing for toffee, YANBU

HTH

Are you and in law of mine OP?

You have delighted us long enough, my dear...

I'm talking about a house where you have no option to get away (and your absence would be noted) and for extended periods of time, repeatedly throughout the night. Loud opera singing from one and warbly soprano choir-type from another. Piano accompaniment.

US - ah yes, excellent quote!

It depends if they're any good and if they've actually been asked to perform.
Getting out your guitar in someone else's kitchen and singing a self-penned pile of wank about Nature = not OK.
Randomly making people listen to your 6 year old sing = not OK.
But if it's a "let's all have a jolly sing song" then that's great.

snoot - sounds like a gathering in a remote manor house where there would be a thunderstorm, a blackout, a murder, and a guest detective just happened to be staying

oh heck, I wasn't calling your family murderers!

My whole family do the singing thing and many have their own song. It's great craic, everyone is very enthusiastic about the singing of others and those being unpleasant are given short shrift, no matter how bad the singer is. But woebetide anyone who sings another's song.

My family are Irish. I prefer the sing-song bit at a wedding or funeral before we take to the dance floor for the fighting.

snoot uh oh! I'm guilty of this; try to reserve it for the occasions when it's all singing friends round.

I do pity the poor neighbours though.... bellows "VITTTOOOORRIIAAA" at wall

It depends. Is the family you are talking about Irish? If so, YABU. if not, YANBU.

Audrina

Depends what's expected of you.

If you're free to listen if you want, drift off if you don't. Then YABU.

If you're forced to be the captive audience and are expected to be enthused and amazed and it is demanded of you that you be a sycophant. Then, YANBU at all.

The music at most of my gatherings (friends of family) is usually more of a casual affair when no one is expected to be attentive, or it's a jam. Involvement is not compulsory!! I find it really pretty lovely that we're relaxed enough to create our own soundtrack to a night, whilst at the same time we're able to carry on chatting, go for a wander or fall asleep.

We don't clap though, perhaps the occasional "Oh that was nice" if meant.

Yanbu

I am not adverse to a lot bit of drunken karaoke.

I loathe anyone taking it seriously and performing for an audience.

I'm intrigued by the notion of a murder, would certainly liven things up!

Not Irish, very much English, oh so very much!

I think it would be a lot better if it was something more people could join in with but this is very much like a small recital with a captive audience. They're not big drinkers either and it's hard to resist the urge to drink to ease the pain!

Curlew

There's only one thing for it.. Drink gin. Lots of gin.

I actually find this type of thing quite hilarious really
so bring it on

My children and their cousins practice their party pieces all year for dp's family's "oh, we've just remembered, we're Irish so we're incredibly musical and love the craic " New Year party. It's fab!