To find people singing at family gatherings and expecting an admiring audience hideously embarrassing?

[Snoot]

I think it's attention seeking and makes me want to claw my own ears and eyes out! It's not the kind of thing my own family would do in a million years. I expect to have to watch children perform but not grown adults! As an in-law I cannot comment openly but OMG I dread it so much I'd avoid the situation if at all possible.

[ShowOfHands]

Oh you'd love Christmas at our house. We sit round the fire, tell stories, sing songs, instruments come out and we all have a sing song.

In summer you're more likely to find us round a camp fire, instruments, marshmallows and lots of singing.

Fortunately, it's a group thing and people drift in and out of it, carry on chatting, pour more drinks etc. And it's more folk classics than warbled opera.

Ooooh I feel all festive now.

[Snoot]

Good lord, sardines, I think it's been a lucky escape so far! There is lots of hide and seek and the larder is a popular option. This is all fuelled by minimal booze and terrible food, unreconstructed English cuisine of the type that won us worldwide notoriety. Unsalted, over cooked vegetables, no butter, dry meat, no garlic (!), bisto gravy, tinned fruit with birds custard. None of these on their own terrible but all together...

[BOF]

Showy- we MUST get together one day; Reality and I will just crash your parties otherwise

[AudrinaAdare]

Well now I feel cheated. My great- uncle Paddy rubbed his erection against me and tickled my upper thighs in full view of the rest of the family and I didn't even have the fun of playing a game! (There is another corker of a family funeral to come regarding this matter )

[rempy]

Adopt the habits of the serious alcoholic. Vodka in the water glass, brandy in the coffee. Its the only way to get through that sort of hideousness.

[Snoot]

rempy it is very tempting! I will certainly bear it in mind although I would almost certainly be found out. I do currently smuggle in food

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

My BIL and SIL have regular parties. There is a family friend (now aged about 18) who always sings at these things. She is a pretty girl and has a nice tuneful voice but she is not the next Leona Lewis.

Every time we have the same rigmarole "X - do you fancy singing a song" "oh no, I couldn't possibly" "oh go on" "well, my guitar, amps, speakers and music do just happen to be in the back of my dad's car".

Cue two hour concert. (Just to ensure we don't all join in she sings her own songs.)

Cue two more hours of everyone saying how marvellous she is and how exciting it will be that we can say "we knew her when...."

I generally mutter "the emperor has nothing on!" to dh and smile and nod!

[Twirlyhot]

I have the Irish singing after funerals type. At parties they wheel out the children. In full dancing gear. That's my family. The ILs favour oppressive silence.

[Snoot]

I love the fact that she's singing her own songs so no one can join in! Poor you Mumoftwo, that sounds absolutely awful. How often are these parties? Is there sufficient booze to numb the pain?

[Twirlyhot]

Did you accidentally wander into an Agatha Christie novel Snoot?

[Twirlyhot]

Folk classics?

Arrrrrggggghhhh!

[ChippingInHopHopHop]

Snoot - if you really must go, then you need a camel pac with vodka!! Sounds like the kind of thing that might bring on a migraine before you go

[zipzap]

I think you should develop a nasty case of tinnitus that is set off by some specific frequencies - ie those that are sung at your gathering. It's a shame it's really painful and uncomfortable but luckily removing yourself from the source of the noise and a large glass of brandy (and a good book or headphones to listen to your own choice of music etc) will do much to lessen the pain and suffering that you otherwise experience

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Snoot Oh yes - no joining in with the chorus of "Don't stop believing" for us!

Tons of booze but I seem to be permanently pregnant or breastfeeding so rarely get to partake! They usually have lots of nice food though so I just eat my weight in cake.

[Snoot]

You see it's not normal is it?!? This is what I've been trying to tell DH! If I hadn't been so rude about his family I'd show him this thread for proof!

[squoosh]

You need to do your own party trick next time, something that would ensure your banishment from future gatherings.

-fart a rendition of God Save the Queen
-striptease with a lot of leg open, bending over action
-the Hakka?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

That is a problem OP

DP's friend brings his guitar with him everywhere,and despite actually being quite good,I die inside every single he starts playing it and singing.

It's the demanding "look at me" aspect I suppose.

[AudrinaAdare]

cfc "We're just after having a fantastic weekend celebrating the wedding of a brilliant couple. Well, it feels like it was yesterday but it was last weekend"

Sure that's a daycent celebration. Still drunk a week later

[Twirlyhot]

Have you tried asking them to play Hide and Seek and just sneaking off to the pub for an hour?

[Twirlyhot]

You need some desperately uncool requests Alisvolatpropiis. Wait till he whips it out and then ask for something by Cliff Richard. If you really want to commit you could buy the sheet music.

[cfc]

Indeed! In fact, it's about that time of night isn't it? Does anyone fancy getting a little maudlin...?

"As we gather in the chapel here...".

A lovely song there about death, a glorious death I grant you, but death all the same...sigh. Why can't they ask for The Irish Rover or Seven Drunken Nights?!

[ComposHat]

a pissed sing along- great!

family take to the stage to give mini recital - bad & pretentious vain & nauseating.

[Snoot]

There is a pub in the village but it is the type where everyone knows everybody and things would be reported back via the WI and the village committee.

[AudrinaAdare]

cfc I'm about ready for The Irish Crying Song.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Generally, parties that involve singing or playing instruments are the best sort. As long as there's options to join in/several different people having a go/the option to go to another room if you would rather continue your conversation. What the OP is describing does sound awful, in the way that being expected (or obliged) to participate in someone's superstitious rituals that you don't share is awful - it's all the 'worship' of one family member that makes it a bit creepy and weird.