To find people singing at family gatherings and expecting an admiring audience hideously embarrassing?

[Snoot]

I think it's attention seeking and makes me want to claw my own ears and eyes out! It's not the kind of thing my own family would do in a million years. I expect to have to watch children perform but not grown adults! As an in-law I cannot comment openly but OMG I dread it so much I'd avoid the situation if at all possible.

Well, I am in the strange position of my DH and I being asked to provide the entertainment at Family do's. Including a 70th, a 60th, a Christening and a Wedding. And we also sing together in the garden at BBQ's.

It gets a bit wearing, when all I want to do is sit down and have a good time.

Yes, I'm with Finola on this. Gin x much.

Cringefest!

Unless you're Irish as curlew says.

And I say that as a classical musician (an Irish one).

It depends on how serious they are. If it's all a bit of a laugh and relaxed then fine. If everyone is expected to sit in silence with their ears bleeding then not cool.

Oh god, totally with you. My cousin does this at every family do going. A family event isn't an event unless her nasally whine has ripped off Adele or such like. It makes my sister and I want to rip off our heads. She even sang throughout her own bloody wedding FFS.

The only downside to the gin option is that then it really is like an episode of Midsommer Murders, drunken auntie and all

Oh and I should mention - she's 36..

Isn't this something lady di complained about when she married into the made in windsors? Princess maggie's sing alongs? If it's show tubes OP YANBU.

I however quite enjoy PILs Ilkley Moor By Tat.

No that is not an American tradition in any family I know.

YANBU. My partners grandparents are like this .... They randomly burst into song and expect everyone to join in and enjoy it. Christmas is the worst but it is known to happen all year round, unexpectedly.

I think the participation aspect is key to these things.

Will booze be freely available for at least 2 hours before the singing?
Can you sing along?

Will there be someone whose singing is awful, but you feel a weird respect for them for having the balls/belief and having a go despite their obvious lack of talent?

If the answer to any of the above is No, then YANBU OP.

Taking to the dancefloor for the fightin' is a line from a Harry Enfield Scousers sketch but it's just SO true of my family. My grandmother's funeral was absolute carnage. Practically every male, young, old or inbetween was called John Murphy so you can imagine the confusion when the guards arrived!

Dione your answers:

Will booze be freely available for at least 2 hours before the singing? no
Can you sing along? no
Will there be someone whose singing is awful, but you feel a weird respect for them for having the balls/belief and having a go despite their obvious lack of talent? no

I wonder if a sympathetic GP would provide Valium if I explained the facts?!?

Gawd you'd hate parties at mine...

Singorama. Often with piano accompaniment.

The drunker the better, I find.

We love it. If you don't then you don't have to stay. We won't force anyone, honest.

We'll do Joni Mitchell next time, Skintorama- your DH must learn the guitar accompaniment

Aw Snoot, you gotta find a way out. That's terrible.

And you haven't lived until you've heard me and Bof doing Les Mis...

We are epic.

Snoot, it sounds like a load of pretentious old wankery to me.

Ooooh yes to Joni! I'll get DH right on it.

If we keep the menfolk sufficiently pissed, I reckon they'll tolerate us or be too nice to object

Zenaika in Russia I was asked to preform and felt like an untalented dolt. I was shown a piano at one family's place and told to get busy. They could do things, I could not. If was clear to me we would face been lost on any Cold War talent Armageddon.

God you'd hate any of our family gatherings then!

Audrina, you made me laugh. We're just after having a fantastic weekend celebrating the wedding of a brilliant couple. Well, it feels like it was yesterday but it was last weekend.

I was mercilessly bullied into singing the two melancholic songs I am always called upon to sing at these events, Raglan Road and Skibereen. I don't like to sing at events because women always sing the sad Irish songs, whereas men get the drinking Dubliners type songs - so I always end up making people cry.

They sound very precious.

Can't you lower the tone a little by getting 3 or 4 people to subvert by singing together, in a sociable, glee ful manner?

Once it's joining in instead of performance, it will be a lot more fun.

Ps curlew, the Irish do not have the monopoly on musical family evenings. I'm sure ours is one of many English, Scottish and welsh families who enjoy our musical traditions in family get togethers.

I think it is the pretentious element that really multiplies the cringe factor! And the self-importance. And the showing off. And the smugness. And the knowledge that it is not an inclusive activity but they're going to charge ahead anyway. I could go on

Now if there was plentiful booze and a bit of Joni or indeed anything other than classical music I might even join in myself! Group numbers, clearly, I wouldn't inflict my unadulterated voice on anyone!