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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have so much time off work due to morning sickness?

44 replies

CylonNumber6 · 20/07/2013 19:00

Am 8 weeks pregnant with first DC. Have felt like death since week 4. Rarely throw up but the nausea and exhaustion is overwhelming.

GP has been very supportive, keeps trying me on different drugs (prochloperazine then Phenergan) but nothing helps.

Been signed off for 3 weeks now, am confident I could get this extended if need be. I get ok sick pay so that's not an issue.

Problem is, I'm not getting any better and I don't want work to think I'm taking the piss.

Is it unreasonable to tale so much time off? I feel like others must have this but plough on regardless?

I just can't get off the sofa/bathroom floor Sad

Posted here rather than pregnancy threads for traffic.

OP posts:
northernlurker · 20/07/2013 19:04

Oh don't worry, take the time off. I didn't have a day off from full time work with dd3 (I was sick in every pregnancy but was a student with dd1 and worked evenings with dd2 so not as tricky). I threw up so much at work, felt like death but I kept going because I felt I should. Well whilst on maternity leave they completely screwed me career wise. I should have had time off in the first trimester and taken care of myself. I ended the pregnancy a stone lighter than I started it! Nobody gives you credit for struggling on believe me. Take the time you need and take care of yourself.

ananikifo · 20/07/2013 19:09

If you can't work, it's reasonable to be off with sickness. Only you and your doctor can make that decision. Every woman's experience is different so don't try to compare yourself to other women. People can say they had morning sickness and they may be talking about anything ranging from occasional mild nausea to vomiting multiple times daily and becoming seriously dehydrated.

Reastie · 20/07/2013 19:11

Please just take the time off and rest. I had the same thing and ended out being signed off pretty much my whole pregnancy Confused . I hated it at the time and felt so guilty and feeble and miserable that other people seemed to carry on fine and I couldn't. It hits some people really badly and interestingly I found the women who'd had children were much less considerate and understanding than the men - they genuinely thought I could eat a ginger biscuit and be fine Angry . Just take however long you need - it's impossible to take more time off than I did (I was signed off at 4 weeks! Tried gradual returning around 20 weeks but it didn't work out so went back to being signed off). It's a completely miserable time when you feel so rough (but so joyful in other ways) and just take each day as it comes. FWIW 8 weeks I think was my worst week, maybe you'll start perking up soon . Try different drugs as you might just need to find one that works better for you (although I had the nausea worst - like I was 5 seconds away from being sick all the time non stop) and I don't think drugs can't help that. Stress and tiredness make it worse though so rest and don't stress.

Thurlow · 20/07/2013 19:15

Nope, take the time off. It's horrendous. Hopefully it will start to ease soon - though my actual sickness lasted for a long time, I found that during the second trimester I was less knackered and was able to cope even while being sick a few times a day, it all wasn't so bad and I'd started to work out how to eat and drink to still feel sort of ok around the sickness. Hope you feel better soon.

(PS - I've noticed that MS/HG seems to be an area where some women can get quite competitive and talk about how they soldiered on and how you'll be fine, just take a bag to be sick in, and if they managed without drugs then you should 'give in' and take them Hmm so take no notice and do whatever you feel you need to do)

Original poster
CylonNumber6 · 20/07/2013 19:15

Reastie that's exactly how I feel "always five seconds away from being sick"!

Thanks for your posts ladies, it does help to hear others views on this.

It just doesn't feel like a "proper illness" I guess. It's definitely not HG as I can keep hydrated.

OP posts:
Original poster
CylonNumber6 · 20/07/2013 19:18

Actually maybe its more like a permanent hangover, except there's no headache and a dirty cheese burger wouldn't help.

OP posts:
soverylucky · 20/07/2013 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phantomnamechanger · 20/07/2013 19:20

pg sickness is grim, especially in this heat when you cant even keep water down. 11 long years ago when pg with DD2 I ended up in hospital on a drip for a week.
if you need to stay off, stay off - sounds like GP is helpful so don't worry about work.

monicalewinski · 20/07/2013 19:22

To be brutally honest, people you work with may probably think you're taking the piss so I wouldn't be surprised if comments are made; BUT, it is none of their business.

If you are having a difficult time and your doctor has signed you off then take it and to hell with other people. I worked until the week I gave birth with both of mine (to maximise my maternity leave following birth as I was only entitled to 4 months), with DS1 I soldiered on through heaps of crap and made myself really ill - with DS2 I took time off when I needed and had a much easier pregnancy.

Be ready for snarky comments, but try your hardest to ignore - your health is the most important thing, for you and your baby. Hope it eases up for you and you feel better soon xx

Meglet · 20/07/2013 19:24

yanbu. I had the tiredness and nausea in my first pregnancy. It felt like being drugged with sleeping tablets and being sea sick. I spent a week off work in bed, just surfacing to snack then I'd sleep again. I wasn't in any fit state to drive or work.

Then I was cursed with extreme sickness in my second pregnancy and the GP drugged me with anti-sickness pills so I could keep water down. I wasn't at work for a couple of weeks that time around.

If it's any consolation I was at work and the gym by month 3 and feeling much more human.

CheeseFondueRocks · 20/07/2013 19:25

If you are too unwell too work, you are too unwell. It's as simple as that.

With DD1 I was signed off for the whole pregnancy to due sickness. I'm now 13 weeks with DC2 and have been off for 7 weeks. I hope to go back in a month or something. I do feel bad for my employer, I work a a smallish family run business (not the same place I was working with the last pregnancy) and I feel bad but they have been nothing but great. Bear in mind that I was only working there for 2 months when I became pregnant.

So really, don't worry. In my experience, stress makes the sickness worse so it's better to take a few weeks off and come back refreshed than push yourself through it and be useless at work for months potentially.

Original poster
CylonNumber6 · 20/07/2013 19:27

That is some consolation, thanks Smile

I really miss work/gym/eating so am really hoping this switches itself off soon!

OP posts:
Mumoftwoyoungkids · 20/07/2013 19:31

I think if you are on drugs then it is more than "normal" morning sickness.

Make sure you discuss the drugs when you do go back so that your co workers realise this.

CheeseFondueRocks · 20/07/2013 19:32

I'm just slowly coming out the other side now where I can think of food without vomitting. I guess what made it difficult for me is that I work with food so there's no way to escape the smells and stuff that sets me off.

ananikifo · 20/07/2013 19:32

When a colleague was off for weeks with sickness we talked about how sheets be going through hell. Nobody made comments about her taking the piss, not even in her absence. When she came back she still looked tired and sick. So your colleagues may be sympathetic than you think.

MortifiedAdams · 20/07/2013 19:33

The people at work might grumble. Theres nothing you can do about it, its their problem. They fail to see that you dont actually want to feel like this!

I have days where I feel seasick alllllll day. Then I have days like today where there is no nausea and I have no appetite whatsoever, so feel lethargic. Ive been to a BBQ today and managed one sausage. Thats it Sad but better than the sickness.

Take the time. You dont get any thanks for not

ananikifo · 20/07/2013 19:33

She must, not sheets

ananikifo · 20/07/2013 19:34

She must, not sheets

Paintyourbox · 20/07/2013 19:37

Hey OP, take the time off!

I had hyperemesis during my pg and it was horrendous. Couldn't even walk into the kitchen- the mere thought of food made me sick.

I ended up in hospital on a drip and so was forced to take time off. I could have had longer but dragged myself back to work, unable to eat the whole time I was there. Wish I had taken the time off as my employers later tried to make me redundant when I was 7 months pg.

Reastie · 20/07/2013 19:39

that's what I found frustrating OP - I just wanted to be able to work and do my normal things. I felt a fraud taking time off when I didn't have HG and wasnt being sick all the time but I just wasn't capable of working.

TarkaTheOtter · 20/07/2013 19:39

I think the problem is some people have morning sickness and its just the odd moment of nausea. Some of these people find it particularly hard to understand why some women may need time off. I was told that coming into work might "take my mind off it and make me feel better".
Fortunately my doctor was more sympathetic and once you have the sick note there is nothing they can legally do.

BikeRunSki · 20/07/2013 19:40

I had 8 weeks off in both pg, and was in and out of hospital from weeks 8-14 both times. It was hideous, but did, one day in week 15, just stop. Just like that. Both times. Work were really supportive, luckily I have a female boss!

Original poster
CylonNumber6 · 20/07/2013 19:41

My colleagues are generally an ok bunch so am not overly concerned about them tbh.

If they did have any snide comments they would more than likely say them to my face so I could challenge it.

I guess I just worry that billions of women have gone before me popping out babies and still carrying on and getting on with it, whereas I feel pathetic for feeling like this.

Thanks for you replies tho, I think I will speak to my GP again on Monday.

CheeseFondue I really feel for you working with food! Everything smells VILE at the mo!

OP posts:
Thurlow · 20/07/2013 19:44

Yes, millions of women have been pg and have carried on, but not as many get such bad sickness - and did you know they think Charlotte Bronte died of it? Shock So it just shows that sickness can be absolutely bloody awful. Take all the rest and/or nausea drugs you need to.

strawberryswing · 20/07/2013 19:45

yanbu!

When I was pregnant I had dreadful sickness, throwing up about ten times a day, could keep nothing down etc. I thought I just had to plod on, I went to Uni and work and popped off on sick breaks. Anyway I made myself ten times worse because I didn't get the rest I needed, I was utterly exhausted.

If I could go back I would take all the time off in the world! Your body is going through enough as it is, dont make it worse for yourself if you.dont need to.

And it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, its hard to understand unless you've been through severe sickness but it really can be debilitating. Rest and good luck x

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