AIBU not to tackle neighbour who ran over ds's scooter?

[redhatnoknickers]

We live in a cul-de-sac where there are several young families and some old gits. The under 10s tend to play out in the street most of the day during weekends and holidays, with their balls, bikes, scooters etc. One of our neighbours cannot bear children anywhere near his house and driveway, and regularly goes out to tell the children off. His particular bugbear is bikes being left on the pavement anywhere near his house, even if it's literally for a couple of minutes. Yesterday my 5 year old ds left his bright red and yellow scooter outside this man's house, 3 doors up, for long enough to come inside and drink a cup of water. When he went back out, his brother and the neighbouring children told him that our neighbour had driven down our street to his house, straight over the scooter and into his driveway, then gone indoors. The scooter is totally crushed. (So is ds.) Our neighbour must have seen the scooter before he drove over it, heard the car crush it etc but chose to drive over it anyway. Unfortunately said neighbour is not only a local councillor with plenty of local influence, but also a thoroughly unpleasant individual who thinks nothing of reporting people to the council and the police for any minor or perceived infringement of any rules he sees. I have no particular wish to get into a row with him because the man is vicious, however dh coward that he is, refusing to get involved and my other dc think I'm BU not to confront the neighbour, instead letting ds think it was an accident. I think I may be a coward rather than U, much like dh.... AIBU? What would you do?

That should have been or did realise he hit it accidentally but didn't let the owner know...

Midnitescribbler makes a good point although however tempted I was I don't think I could bring myself to run over a child's toy :(

My car would probably fall to pieces anyway :)

He sounds like a right miserable sod.

Stuff an apple in his exhaust pipe

We live in a lovely place where some of the residents have lived since the houses were built in the 40s/50s/60s, they have raised their families, and have grandchildren, great grand children, who visit or live here.

We are a mixed age community, we all get on, and it is very friendly, we have lots of children playing out and about in the roads and greens,

but all of the children and teens are deeply respectful of the other residents, they would never leave scooters, skateboards, litter, bikes, supersoakers, go carts or balls on the road, driveways, pavements, because it would imminently start to annoy the older residents,

The older residents like the children playing out, they all interact really well, and have fun together, because all of the children have always known it is their responsibility to be considerate.

Get the children to be consistently considerate, dump discarded kit onto their own front gardens, and make sure they are getting out the way of other road and pavement users, and you may find their change in behaviour brings about a change in attitude.

I think YABU and should report it to the police. You should tell him that you are very concerned about it, and feel you have no choice but to do so.

If deliberate, it could be criminal damage, if accidental, it looks like driving without due care and attention.

If he genuinely didn't see it, then he is an unsafe driver (which is particularly worrying as he lives in a road where small children play.)

Having said that, in your place I would probably also choose to ignore, as neighbour aggro can make life a misery

I think the best thing to do would be to confront him by saying something along the lines of 'look I know he shouldn't have left it there but you really could have just told us'. If he is nasty about it then contact the police and / or local paper.

Does he have a wife? Would she be more sympathetic?

In a lot of streets this wouldn't have happened because the scrap metal man would have taken any stray scooters or bikes before the neighbours car had a chance to run it over - regardless of how shiny and new they look.
Another good reason to teach kids not to abandon their stuff in the street for even a few minutes.

Isn't he already reporting petty things, and reporting them frequently? The only space he has left himself to escalate things is to damage things or people.

Basically, he can't get pettier, so watch out for his malice to get grander. Damaging a toy probably made him feel big, so he's got to be brought right down in size, immediately.

Yanbu at all, tat is not his pavement it belongs to the councils I would have taken pictures of the scooter lying on the pavement an call 101, being a councillor does not stop you being a criminal!

Op your neighbour is being a twat. Ok kids can be irritating and a nuisance to some people but running over and crushing a 5 year olds scooter was so wrong and unnecessary.

I would take photos and email the local paper. Since this twat is a local councillor they will likely be very interested in the story.

Ps the pavement access to his drive way is still public -its NOT HIS property. Also worth reporting to your neighbourhood police as he sounds a bit unhinged and perhaps is a danger on the roads tsk tsk.

Yabu in my opinion to do nothing. Yes your ds probably should not of left the scooter there, but your neighbour was being a total arse.

If it was me I would be doing something so my ds would know that people can not get away with doing what they want.

I know I'm going to come across as terribly unreasonable on mumsnet, but why do your children leave their toys discarded across the roadways and access to people's drives? Wouldn't it be better to teach them to look after their things, or to keep an eye on them yourself? I remember being terribly upset as a child because my bike was stolen because I didn't bring it in. When you just abandon property, you cannot expect other people to take care of it for you. It was quite a good lesson in the long run I think.

I also live in a mixed development, and its in the title deeds that you cannot leave items outside your house. In fact, perhaps 3/4 of the people here work and do not have kids, and would be complaining to the managing agents if kid's scooters were constantly being left in front of their driveways, and they're mostly young people, not old gits. My neighbour was actually moaning about it to me yesterday.

If you do report this to the police, don't be surprised if he claims it damaged his car.

Surely of this guy is a local counsellor then the local press would be interested! Or maybe the rival political party.
Name and shame.

The local councillors are always in the local paper here with their shenanigans. There would be no paper without them

I'm not sure what you will gain by confronting him tbh.

If he's a bully he will have a go.

Otherwise he will make a token apology, deny that he saw the scooter, say that he intended to drive round it and hit it accidently or say that he thought it was rubbish that had been left in the street. He might even make a token apology but will point out that it shouldn't have been left there. Making a formal complaint or taking it to the paper, he will just say the same thing.

Like others upthread, I'm surprised that he would have driven over it deliberately - because of the danger that his own car would have been damaged. Most likely that he thought he could drive over (scooters are pretty low to the ground when lying down) or did try to avoid it and misjudged.

why do your children leave their toys discarded across the roadways and access to people's drives? Wouldn't it be better to teach them to look after their things, or to keep an eye on them yourself?

This.

The man is, undoubtedly, a total wanker if he drove over it deliberately but leaving a scooter over someone's driveway is not on and the children need to be trained to bring them back. DD (7) is paying out with friends this year for the first time and I am training her not to leave things where they are in the way - there are plenty of places to abandon stuff where they won't cause problems.

If your DH thinks you are unreasonable not to confront the neighbour he should either be prepared to do it himself or shut up :)

I don't know that I could pursue it either, OP. But I'm fairly sure what he did counts as malicious or criminal damage. So I hope that you do pursue it. He shouldn't be allowed.

DH said to reasonably walk over there & ask him what happened. If you do, I would take as neutral a witness as you can.

I'd contact the police - say you're extremely worried about the man who has been seen driving erratically...

So basically what you're saying is you'd ring the police and lie?

Excellent example!

Soupdragon but op has and is training her dc who is 2 yrs younger than your dc. So you imply hers should not make mistakes but yours is still being trained by yourself. 5. Yr olds do not always understand the consequences of their actions.

He is unreasonable if it was an accident he would have apologised.

I think you should speak to him it would hate to myself

It was very very wrong of the man to drive over the scooter, but I do have a little bit of sympathy for him because of my own experience.

We live right at the very end of a cul-de-sac. The road actually stops where our drive begins. A few years ago a family with 3 children moved in across the road,and immediately took over the whole area for outside play, persuading the family next door to them to join in. They turned our road into a playground, with toys, bikes and scooters dumped all over the place. A football goalpost would be set up every day right across the entrance to our drive, and they had these little mini cone things that they used to place along the middle of the road as a cycling obstacle course.

I had a bloody shit horrible job at the time, and so did DH. We both had to endure a very long and stressful journey home, during which we would long for the moment when we could flop down onto the sofa with a glass of cold wine/beer. The very last thing that we wanted was to have to stop the car within sight of our house, as we were unable to get into our drive because of all the bikes, toys, various children running around, and a sodding goalpost blocking our way. I haven't even mentioned the two stroppy mothers sitting on their doorsteps, just daring us to say anything. We used to have to wait for them to slowly get up off their fat arses and gradually move all of the stuff out of the way whilst glaring at us as though we we shouldn't have been there.

Sorry op - I'm sure that you and your kids aren't anything like this, and I would like to reiterate that your neighbour shouldn't have driven over the scooter, but I'm afraid that your thread brought back bad memories.

Bugsylugs, where did I say the OPs child is not allowed to make mistakes?

Actually whilst he may be an arse I'd be having a word with your son about his toys.

Leaving them lying about is dangerous.

How would you be framing this aibu if it had been stolen.

Why should the man get out of his car to move a toy and risk being told he damaged it, just to get in his driveway?

Toys are not for the road, nor across driveways. By all means use the pavement to play but don't leave things at your ass and moan if theyy get destroyed.

6 of one half a dozen of the other.
Your neighbour is guilty of criminal damage. He either intended to wreck it or was reckless when he did so.
Your child shouldn't be leaving his junk everywhere. Lesson learnt the hard way.

He was out of order running it over although I can understand his frustration. He has repeatedly warned people about the bikes. You say it's not hard for him to ask the kids to move the bike, but it would be just as easy for your son to put the bike away on your own property when he wants to come in for a drink.

If he's not capable of looking after his toys and not encroaching on others right to enjoy their property then he's not old enough to go out. If he can't understand that he mustn't leave things outside this man's house then you shouldn't let him play out and should just keep him in the garden.