AIBU not to tackle neighbour who ran over ds's scooter?

[redhatnoknickers]

We live in a cul-de-sac where there are several young families and some old gits. The under 10s tend to play out in the street most of the day during weekends and holidays, with their balls, bikes, scooters etc. One of our neighbours cannot bear children anywhere near his house and driveway, and regularly goes out to tell the children off. His particular bugbear is bikes being left on the pavement anywhere near his house, even if it's literally for a couple of minutes. Yesterday my 5 year old ds left his bright red and yellow scooter outside this man's house, 3 doors up, for long enough to come inside and drink a cup of water. When he went back out, his brother and the neighbouring children told him that our neighbour had driven down our street to his house, straight over the scooter and into his driveway, then gone indoors. The scooter is totally crushed. (So is ds.) Our neighbour must have seen the scooter before he drove over it, heard the car crush it etc but chose to drive over it anyway. Unfortunately said neighbour is not only a local councillor with plenty of local influence, but also a thoroughly unpleasant individual who thinks nothing of reporting people to the council and the police for any minor or perceived infringement of any rules he sees. I have no particular wish to get into a row with him because the man is vicious, however dh coward that he is, refusing to get involved and my other dc think I'm BU not to confront the neighbour, instead letting ds think it was an accident. I think I may be a coward rather than U, much like dh.... AIBU? What would you do?

[londonrach]

Your son is old enough to learn to look after his things. He shouldn't have left his scooter on someone's driveway. I'd give the neighbour the benefit of doubt and say he didn't see it as running over it could damage his car. Good life lesson for your son which you might thank the neighbour for one day. Agree with mimi.

[Mimishimi]

The neighbour is an idiot but YABU to let your kids leave their stuff on his driveway. I don't think you'd have much of a case to bring up with him. To be honest, if I found stuff on my driveway, I wouldn't run over it because I wouldn't want to damage my car but if it happened on a regular basis, I'd have no hesitation putting the item in my boot and taking it to the council tip.

[lurkerspeaks]

I'm afraid I think there is an important lesson here for your son and the other neighbourhood children. Yes, in an ideal world your neighbour wouldn't have run over the scooter but I really don't see why he would choose to do that and damage his car. Far more likely that he was concentrating on avoiding all the kids and didn't see it.

Your son has just learnt they hardway the consequences of leaving your toys in front of a driveway. This is the same lesson my brother learnt when he left his bike (again) on the driveway behind my Father's car when we were kids. The end result was a squashed bike as my Father didn't / couldn't see it when he reversed the car out.

My parents certainly didn't rush out to buy him a new bike or even contemplate referring anyone to the police instead bro was berated for once again dumping his bike in a stupid place. All the neighbourhood kids knew about it and bikes were consistently left in safer places for quite a while afterwards. No one will take care of your possessions for you if you don't.

This IMO is an important life lesson. I lived with the same girl for 3 years at University. She was (and is, we are still pretty close friends) really careless/clumsy. No matter how many times we aked her not to do X or Y she would continue to do it and stuff (dishes/ DVD players/ vacuum cleaners) got broken. It continues to this day - I dread her coming to stay as something always gets broken and her car is forever in the bodyshop.

It transpired that when she was a child when she broke things they just got automatically replaced whereas in my childhood if you broke something because you didn't look after it you had to either replace it yourself from your savings or wait 'til your next birthday / christmas.

[Salmotrutta]

I remembered this thread yesterday when I visited a relative in a similar street.

The road and pavement had an obstacle course of children, bikes, scooters and footballs. Add to that the cars parked in the street (more cars than driveways) which small children could run between and you have a potential accident waiting to happen.

Mine certainly weren't allowed to abandon toys in the street or on the pavement - why should pedestrians or drivers have to complete an assault course?

I wouldn't damage a child's property but I'd probably move it into my front lawn or side of the drive, wait for them to come and retrieve it then tell them the error of their ways.

[SoupDragon]

I'm willing to bet that the man is seriously pissed off and that the stuff scattered all over the pavement is a regular occurrence.

[diddl]

What I don't get is why didn't your son scoot back to the house for a drink rather than dump his scooter & walk?

Perhaps this was the final straw for the guy?

[TheUnsinkableTitanic]

another vote here for reporting to DVLA re eyesight

[lljkk]

If an old lady was obstructing the guy's driveway would he have the right to drive over her, too? Of course not.

[AnneTwacky]

Maybe the scooter shouldn't have been on the pavement and I sympathise that it was annoying. Does that give him the right to run over it?

No of course it doesn't. You can't deliberately damage a stationary object just because it's in your way however annoying it is.

He's also probably caused any amount of damage to his own car with his hot-headedness.

Even with this in mind it might be a good starting point to teach your DS not to leave his toys in random places but bring them back in with him. More considerate to your neighbours and less likely to be damaged/ stolen.

[MidniteScribbler]

Aside from not blocking someone getting in to their driveway, kids toys should not be blocking pavements at all. What if someone in a wheelchair needed to get past? They may not be able to move the toy out of the way. Interesting to know who would be liable if a pedestrian fell over and hurt themselves. I'm starting to sit a little further on the neighbours side of the fence actually.

[soontobeslendergirl]

I live in a similar type street and have my own kids - it still pees me off when kids (not mine as they know better!) leave stuff blocking my driveway so I either have to honk/shout and wait for someone to move it, or leave my car blocking the street while I get out and do it myself.

i wouldn't deliberately drive over anything as I'd be worried about damaging my car....and certainly not if it was a rare occurrence, but I have to admit that regularly finding stuff blocking the driveway would drive me mental and I can see why he did it - doesn't stop him being a miserable grumpy git tho.

I taught my kids not to do it and it's their own fault if they leave it and someone drives over it.

[maddy68]

The scooter must have been causing an obstruction for him to run over it.

Your children really shouldn't be littering the street with their toys. It must be annoying for the older people without children
They should be taught not to leave then lying around tbh

[lljkk]

Cars shouldn't be parked on the pavement. Doesn't give me the right to key them. It's just so wrong what the guy did.

[clam]

holidays she has spoken to her son about leaving toys around. But remember, he's 5 years old and still learning about these things. Of course the scooter shouldn't have been left across the driveway, the OP has acknowledged that. But does that really mean we drivers can mow anything down in our path that shouldn't technically be there?

If he's a councillor, surely he has more to lose than you if you report him to the police? And I wouldn't fear the repercussions - sounds as if he can't get worse than he already is.

[BridgetBidet]

He was out of order running it over although I can understand his frustration. He has repeatedly warned people about the bikes. You say it's not hard for him to ask the kids to move the bike, but it would be just as easy for your son to put the bike away on your own property when he wants to come in for a drink.

If he's not capable of looking after his toys and not encroaching on others right to enjoy their property then he's not old enough to go out. If he can't understand that he mustn't leave things outside this man's house then you shouldn't let him play out and should just keep him in the garden.

[FunLovinBunster]

6 of one half a dozen of the other.
Your neighbour is guilty of criminal damage. He either intended to wreck it or was reckless when he did so.
Your child shouldn't be leaving his junk everywhere. Lesson learnt the hard way.

[holidaysarenice]

Actually whilst he may be an arse I'd be having a word with your son about his toys.

Leaving them lying about is dangerous.

How would you be framing this aibu if it had been stolen.

Why should the man get out of his car to move a toy and risk being told he damaged it, just to get in his driveway?

Toys are not for the road, nor across driveways. By all means use the pavement to play but don't leave things at your ass and moan if theyy get destroyed.

[SoupDragon]

Bugsylugs, where did I say the OPs child is not allowed to make mistakes?

[DoingStuffForHarriet]

It was very very wrong of the man to drive over the scooter, but I do have a little bit of sympathy for him because of my own experience.

We live right at the very end of a cul-de-sac. The road actually stops where our drive begins. A few years ago a family with 3 children moved in across the road,and immediately took over the whole area for outside play, persuading the family next door to them to join in. They turned our road into a playground, with toys, bikes and scooters dumped all over the place. A football goalpost would be set up every day right across the entrance to our drive, and they had these little mini cone things that they used to place along the middle of the road as a cycling obstacle course.

I had a bloody shit horrible job at the time, and so did DH. We both had to endure a very long and stressful journey home, during which we would long for the moment when we could flop down onto the sofa with a glass of cold wine/beer. The very last thing that we wanted was to have to stop the car within sight of our house, as we were unable to get into our drive because of all the bikes, toys, various children running around, and a sodding goalpost blocking our way. I haven't even mentioned the two stroppy mothers sitting on their doorsteps, just daring us to say anything. We used to have to wait for them to slowly get up off their fat arses and gradually move all of the stuff out of the way whilst glaring at us as though we we shouldn't have been there.

Sorry op - I'm sure that you and your kids aren't anything like this, and I would like to reiterate that your neighbour shouldn't have driven over the scooter, but I'm afraid that your thread brought back bad memories.

[Bugsylugs]

Soupdragon but op has and is training her dc who is 2 yrs younger than your dc. So you imply hers should not make mistakes but yours is still being trained by yourself. 5. Yr olds do not always understand the consequences of their actions.

He is unreasonable if it was an accident he would have apologised.

I think you should speak to him it would hate to myself

[ShellyBoobs]

I'd contact the police - say you're extremely worried about the man who has been seen driving erratically...

So basically what you're saying is you'd ring the police and lie?

Excellent example!

[lljkk]

I don't know that I could pursue it either, OP. But I'm fairly sure what he did counts as malicious or criminal damage. So I hope that you do pursue it. He shouldn't be allowed.

DH said to reasonably walk over there & ask him what happened. If you do, I would take as neutral a witness as you can.

[SoupDragon]

If your DH thinks you are unreasonable not to confront the neighbour he should either be prepared to do it himself or shut up :)

[SoupDragon]

why do your children leave their toys discarded across the roadways and access to people's drives? Wouldn't it be better to teach them to look after their things, or to keep an eye on them yourself?

This.

The man is, undoubtedly, a total wanker if he drove over it deliberately but leaving a scooter over someone's driveway is not on and the children need to be trained to bring them back. DD (7) is paying out with friends this year for the first time and I am training her not to leave things where they are in the way - there are plenty of places to abandon stuff where they won't cause problems.