AIBU not to tackle neighbour who ran over ds's scooter?

[redhatnoknickers]

We live in a cul-de-sac where there are several young families and some old gits. The under 10s tend to play out in the street most of the day during weekends and holidays, with their balls, bikes, scooters etc. One of our neighbours cannot bear children anywhere near his house and driveway, and regularly goes out to tell the children off. His particular bugbear is bikes being left on the pavement anywhere near his house, even if it's literally for a couple of minutes. Yesterday my 5 year old ds left his bright red and yellow scooter outside this man's house, 3 doors up, for long enough to come inside and drink a cup of water. When he went back out, his brother and the neighbouring children told him that our neighbour had driven down our street to his house, straight over the scooter and into his driveway, then gone indoors. The scooter is totally crushed. (So is ds.) Our neighbour must have seen the scooter before he drove over it, heard the car crush it etc but chose to drive over it anyway. Unfortunately said neighbour is not only a local councillor with plenty of local influence, but also a thoroughly unpleasant individual who thinks nothing of reporting people to the council and the police for any minor or perceived infringement of any rules he sees. I have no particular wish to get into a row with him because the man is vicious, however dh coward that he is, refusing to get involved and my other dc think I'm BU not to confront the neighbour, instead letting ds think it was an accident. I think I may be a coward rather than U, much like dh.... AIBU? What would you do?

because they saw the incident happen

Whoops sorry, that shouldn't have been in bold....

I'd involve the police. He has deliberately damaged property in a public place, not his own property. If it was an accident he is guilty of driving without due care and attention. Either way he has broken the law.

If your car was parked near but not across his drive and he had damaged it, you would report him or ask him to pay for the damage. Why is your son's property not entitled to the same consideration just because he is a child?

imagine I agree and ds is only allowed on the pavement and not the road.
Spoon good point about people with mobility problems etc. the children are generally good, but like all children they are a work in progress.

Yo should involve the police first. HE is a criminal. And I agree he will get worse, how long will it be before your children can't play outside at all?

Actually, the more i think about it the more I think report it. If he didn't see it he needs a retest.
At the very least he needs to know that you know and that you are not happy.

Sparklingbrook

"Our bin men always leave the wheelie on the pavement in front of our drive but I don't drive into it even though it pisses me off."

Ring the council and ask them to tell the bin men not to put it there, we had some car thefts where they would leave the bin over the drive and get in the car when the driver got out to move the bin.

I don't think you should ignore this either.

The fact he is a councillor makes it even worse as he's supposed to be representative of the community and is probably banking on getting away with it based on his local influence.
However, it also means he's got a lot to lose if this behaviour becomes common knowledge.
I actually think I'd speak to the police and ask for advice. I would also mention his other behaviour and why you don't want to rock the boat.

IME I think they'll probably be quite sympathetic, especially as it's children that are involved.

Boney I will. Thanks for that.

Ah every childhood should have a crazy neighbor in it.

Personally I woukd key the fuck out his car at the next opportunity.

But that is because I am a bitch.

OP, I don't understand why you are so reluctant to do nothing and not confront the man. You say he thinks nothing of reporting petty things to the police - are you worried that if you complain to him, he might then shop you to the police? What for? For allowing your 5 yo son to leave a scooter out? I can imagine the police's response to that one! Or are you worried he might use this as an opportunity to air other grievances he has against you? (Sorry, not trying to imply anything against you here, but I do not understand why you are concerned.) TBH, you are displaying classic victim behaviour. He is a bully and you are letting him continue out of fear for what he might do.

He is an arsehole and if he's an elected councillor, I think the people who elected him need to know what sort of things he does in his local community. I really think you should contact the police, or the council and complain about this councillor, or the paper as several others have said.

Oh come on, you need to man up about this. No its not ideal that the scooter was outside his house, yes I'm sure its annoying, but that does NOT give him the right to run over someone property because its annoying him. My opinion? He sounds unhinged, and a bully to boot. Stand up to him, call the police, take photos, get witness statements, take him to bloody court to get the money back. What will he do next when he's pissed off? He cant take the law into his own hands and do what the fuck he pleases. And you should not even consider letting him do that!

Spoon I don't think there's anything major that could be reported, it's just the potential for aggro. Our other neighbours have been reported for rubbish being put out too early, on the wrong day, tenants reported to landlord for having untidy garden etc... It's not major I know but it's low level stressful. You're right though, I am being a bit of a wimp and I would might be less so if I was convinced that I was 100% in the right, but I think the mixed responses here make me doubt that and give me a get out clause not to go round there and tell him what I think of him

He's out of order running over the scooter like that.

I agree with other posters that you need to stand up to him or he will continue to be a bully. If he can report every last little thing to the police then so can you. He has a lot more to lose than you do being a councilor, including his reputation.

I do think you and the other parents need to teach the children to leave bikes/scooters/other toys in their gardens when not using them even if only for a few minutes. I live in a cul-de-sac and it's the one thing I used to insist on with my dc when they were younger. No, they were not perfect and occasionally used to forget but forgot less as they got into the habit of doing it.

Oh, and your dh is a spineless hypocrite if he expects you to confront the neighbour when he isn't prepared to.

Report him to the dvla his eyesight is obviously not good enough for driving if he didn't see it

he can't claim damages so if he tries tell him to bugger off. if he couldn't see a bike on his driveway.. or hear it being crushed under his car then he really shouldn't be driving tbh...I really doubt he didn't see it he was probably just making a point. I'd make a log of it though date time etc and then make sure you make a log of every little perceived incident he does that affects you and your family. that way if he ever does report you for anything you have a similar log against him...miserable git children get about 3 weeks s year to play outside in the nice weather and always someone who wants to ruin it for them.

So despite the fact that most people on this thread think you should confront him / call the police / do something to show this behaviour will not be tolerated you'd rather listen to the coupler that don't because you are too gutless to stand up for your child against a bully? Really?

Don't get me wrong I would be anxious in your shoes to but this us one of those situations where your son needs you to stand up for him.

I think the man would have a point if he'd had a word with you to ask your children not to leave things in front of his drive but he is a bully instead and needs to be called on it

Could he not have come and said for you to ask the kids not to do it if he was that pissed off? It makes me mad this deliberate destruction of something to make a bloody point. It also makes me sad. My parents are in a street they have lived in since I was six. Many people with young families have moved in recently and my folks are like a dog with two tails because of it. They like the life it has brought to the place. They are forever buying wee gifts for new borns or Birthday presents for next doors kids. (They are not over the top but just kind) Because they are like this these families are so lovely to my folks. It means I know if there is a problem and I cant get to them quickly then one of the neighbours will help out until I can. It is about having and living in a community. This man will never be part of that.
Thats all a bit Julie Andrews though - YANBU and get down there and give it the old bugger tight!!

AIBU is such a fascinating study in to human behaviour. If someone posted that their neighbours children wer constantly leaving bikes/scooters over their pavement and blocking their driveway, they had spoken the parents but it kept happening, what should they do, the overwhelming majority of posts would say "just run over it, that will teach them."

I think getting the police to have a word might be good actually.

He either has to admit that he ran over the Scooter deliberately or admit he didn't see it, didn't feel the car hit it (could've been a child) and didn't try to find the owner to let them know.

Either way makes him look like an arse...

Hmm.

We have a few younger families (not many) in our street whose children are now starting to play out now that they are a bit older. They whizz up and down the pavements on bikes and scooters and quite frankly it freaks me out that I might pull out of my driveway and accidentally hit one.
Our neighbours on both sides have shrubs and bushes etc. that mean we have to creep out slowly in case a kid on a bike whizzes past.

I'm sorry your neighbour wrecked your child's scooter and maybe it is just possible he was more concerned about not hitting a child? It sounds like there was a group of them there and maybe he was concentrating more on not hitting them than toys lying about?

Why don't you just go and speak to him? Ask him how it came about?

the overwhelming majority of posts would say "just run over it, that will teach them."

I wouldn't think that was true. A few might say it, but the majority who generally post do seem to know the difference between right and wrong.

You can report councillors to their Council's Standards Committee, if they breach their Code of Conduct. They have to treat others with respect, and not bring their office into disrepute.

Councillors are pretty much always regarded as being 'on duty' even when out and about in their own community. If he is throwing his weight about as a councillor, even more reason to report him.