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AIBU?

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Original poster

To make DM buy new shoes for DD

99 replies

booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 20:06

After she has let DD run about the back garden all afternoon with no nappy on, peeing all over herself, and now her shoes are soaked with pee?

Only got the shoes on Sunday so not even a week old FFS. She thought they were old ones because they look a little scuffed (isn't that what happens to kids shoes?!) and she had had the same pair a few months ago?

Aargh I am raging!!!!

I managed to get a new pair of the exact same shoes in the Clarks sale, so AIBU to make her give me the £16 I just had to pay??

OP posts:
Guitargirl · 19/07/2013 21:07

You are being ridiculous. 'Good shoes' and toddlers do not mix. Be grateful that your mum looks after your DD. Do not expect a non toilet trained child to keep shoes looking semi-decent for more than an afternoon.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 21:11

To be honest, it's more to make my mum realise enough is enough. She has enough money to think its not a problem to just buy new shoes, whereas I don't. And the fact that she expects me to clean them!! I've tried to get crocs or jelly shoes, but can't seem to find them small enough. If I knew she was just going to be playing in the garden then she wouldn't have had a dress or nice shoes on, but when I'm told the plan is going to GG's so she's to look nice who am I to argue?!

OP posts:
Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 21:14

Guitar girl, I don't need DM to look after DD, I would rather have her when I'm not working. And a non-toilet trained toddler would normally have a nappy on.

OP posts:
OHforDUCKScake · 19/07/2013 21:15

Wipe them down for goodness sake its baby wee, it wont burn holes.

Precious!

Be grateful you have a parent willing to look after your kid.

girliefriend · 19/07/2013 21:17

Did you say to your mum 'I am a bit annoyed her shoes got covered in wee?' Confused

Thats what I would have done and then got over it

Kids wreck things all. the. time.

parkin2010 · 19/07/2013 21:18

My nursery have sent countless shoes home covered in wee- its part of potty training. I wouldn't dream of complaining and I pay £40 a day for the privilege of her going- you've got it cushty hehe stop moaning ;)

MrsOakenshield · 19/07/2013 21:22

to be honest I can't imagine why you'd have a child in leather shoes in the summer anyway. And, apart from party shoes, aren't all shoes for messy play?

Clarks Doodles all the way! Cheap, canvas, can bung them in the washing machine.

DaddyPigsMistress · 19/07/2013 21:22

Its just wee. Just sponge them down and dry them outside. You will covered in wee when she does potty train, i dont see the problem

fluffyraggies · 19/07/2013 21:26

I don't blame you for being a bit miffed OP. If it were my mum in that situation i would expect her to thing - no jelly shoes - no pissing down legs.

My youngest had extremely narrow feet and her shoes cost a fortune. If she couldn't run about bare foot without a nappy then the nappy stayed on untill we were somewhere where the shoes could come off.

I think it might not be worth a fall out with your mum though.

fluffyraggies · 19/07/2013 21:27

thing = think!

IceNoSlice · 19/07/2013 21:27

Would, not 'wud'. Sorry, I know that's pedantic. But it is chuffing annoying.

And YABU. Sorry.

BackforGood · 19/07/2013 21:27

Have to agree on the YBU front - all the reasons above - no need to repeat them.

TSSDNCOP · 19/07/2013 21:30

First think about it, exactly how much time do you think grandparents spend looking at kids shoes? DM may be annoying as fuck but really? My mother, bless her saintly child-looking after halo, wouldn't notice if DS had gold shoes with diamond bows.

Second, wash the ones with wee on a handwash cycle they will be fine. And buy some plimmys from Asda for play which DM can keep at her house. Get wellies too. It'll cost you about £6 and save your teeth from being ground to powder.

HarderToKidnap · 19/07/2013 21:34

Primary do crocs styleshies from a 3 up, they were fine for DS who was a 2.5. They're a quid.

DontmindifIdo · 19/07/2013 21:39

but when I'm told the plan is going to GG's so she's to look nice who am I to argue?! - you are the child's mother. You get to decide what they are dressed in. As your mother has form in letting DD ruin good clothes, then she DD doesn't go to your Mums in nice clothes. If your mum has a problem with that, your mum can pay for outfits that get ruined

DontmindifIdo · 19/07/2013 21:40

oh yes, and Sainsburys are good for cheap plastic sandles for splashing about in the garden.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 22:03

Tssndcop, she has Wellies, would have gladly put them on her had I known she would be messing about. Asdas aren't a good fit, she has a high instep and asda shoes look uncomfortable on her.

Dontmindifido that's the plan going forward.

I've calmed down now, going to talk to DM tomorrow and try and sort it out.

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 19/07/2013 22:11

I meant buy some and keep them at DMs. That way DM can decide on the shoes for the activity.

Doesn't have to be Asda, just some cheapies.

Pigsmummy · 19/07/2013 22:14

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ImagineJL · 19/07/2013 22:23

OP I sympathise. Both my casual-aim boys have soaked their shoes in the past, and the smell of wee is difficult to remove without damaging the shoes at the same time.

And I know exactly what you mean about grandparents not treating stuff with as much respect. My Mum is the same. It's all about the kids having fun, being free, expressing themselves etc - but then she hands them back to me and isn't around when they're crying because their remote control car won't work after it went in the bath, or the train's wheels won't turn after the track was built in the sandpit, and so on.

And if I intercept and prevent such toy damage then I'm seen as the bad guy, the miserable kill-joy, preventing my kids from a blissfully free and fun experience.

Don't get me wrong, I love my Mum a great deal and I'm thrilled and grateful that she wants to be involved with her grandchildren, but I do understand your frustration, and I think YANBU.

booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 22:29

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Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 22:30

Thanks imagine, glad some people can at least see where I'm coming from!!

OP posts:
KatOD · 19/07/2013 22:31

If it's any consolation I come home once a week wondering what on earth DD will have got up to when with Nanny (my DM volunteered for one day childcare a week). Last week they'd played hide and seek and she'd hidden wrapped up in a cream curtain and had coloured it in with a blue crayon... Oh and had had cake and custard for dinner(?!).

Tbh I find it quite funny, accept that some stuff will get trashed and am thankful that DD and DM have such a lovely time together.

It is frustrating when stuff gets trashed, but if you let it get to you so much you're just going to end up as quite an angry person and you'll be then only one who's upset...

MrsOakenshield · 19/07/2013 22:32

but if you're skint, why buy expensive, hard to clean shoes? Clarks Doodles are about £15 and they are washable. Don't buy smart leather shoes for a small child, it's ridiculous.

Fakebook · 19/07/2013 22:37

Bung them in the machine for a quick rinse fgs.

Your mum must have done the same with you too when you were a toddler.