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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make DM buy new shoes for DD

99 replies

booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 20:06

After she has let DD run about the back garden all afternoon with no nappy on, peeing all over herself, and now her shoes are soaked with pee?

Only got the shoes on Sunday so not even a week old FFS. She thought they were old ones because they look a little scuffed (isn't that what happens to kids shoes?!) and she had had the same pair a few months ago?

Aargh I am raging!!!!

I managed to get a new pair of the exact same shoes in the Clarks sale, so AIBU to make her give me the £16 I just had to pay??

OP posts:
Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 20:24

LadyBryan, yes it is DD who is destroying toys. But i am trying to teach her to play nice, and DM just let's her run riot. So who's fault is it then?

OP posts:
PeppaPigStinks · 19/07/2013 20:25

I would wash them- while potty training ( which I understand she isn't) shoes get drenched in wee all the time!

It sounds like your mum is similar to mine... My Dd loves her grandma to bits an always asks to see her, I think because my mum is so relaxed with her. But I do make sure if she is with grandma then appropriate supplies are provided, ie garden specific clothes, shoe she can run and scuff etc!

I'd hate to have to wear a nappy in this weather as well.

Xmasbaby11 · 19/07/2013 20:25

Sorry, YABU. There's no need to replace the shoes - that's really wasteful. They are bound to get dirty and scuffed etc. Just give them a wash.

I would mention it to DM, though.

MissStrawberry · 19/07/2013 20:26

A toddler does not need "good shoes" and running around shoes ffs.

ihearsounds · 19/07/2013 20:28

Ok, so she lets your dd run around the garden without a nappy on, when she is wearing her best shoes?

She lets your dd chuck her toys?

She lets your dd chew toys?

She lets your dd take toys in baths?

Stop sending her to your mums in best shoes.
Children chuck toys, bite them and take them in the bath. Next thing you will be complaining that your dd dribbles everywhere when with your mum and gets food in her hair.

If you don't like your dd doing this when she is in your mums care, simple solution, don't leave her alone with your mum.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 20:29

She doesn't have good shoes and running around shoes, she has NEW shoes she was wearing with a nice dress because she was meant to be visiting her great grandma and OLD shoes which still fit her, and are already scuffed, so makes sense to try and keep her new shoes nice for at least a few weeks, not 5 days.

OP posts:
Inertia · 19/07/2013 20:30

Don't send her to grandma's with her good clothes and shoes- it's worth investing in a pair of crocs or waterproof sandals for garden/ playing out/ beach/ splashing anyway, and they are pretty indestructible.

RiotsNotDiets · 19/07/2013 20:31

I washed some leather clarks shoes the other day, they're fine.

Serialdrinker · 19/07/2013 20:31

If they were £16 I'd think they were the doodle type which wash in the machine fine. In future I'd send her with old 'play clothes' if you're as fussy as you sound.

IsabelleRinging · 19/07/2013 20:33

YABU!!!!

Kids pee in their shoes often as accidents happen to little ones. They don't need a new pair of shoes every time! They will dry.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 19/07/2013 20:33

YABU.

Wash them and get over it! Young children scuff things, get food and mud on their clothes, don't play with their toys in the way that we might like them to ... The list goes on!

TimeofChange · 19/07/2013 20:33

Love, it's just a bit of wee.

Rinse them with water and they will be fine.

Put your DD in old clothes when she visits your DM.

Nagoo · 19/07/2013 20:35

machine wash them, they've always been fine IME.

And chill the fuck out.

Serialdrinker · 19/07/2013 20:35

Also reading your other post, essentially you mum was considerate in removing her dress so that didn't get ruined. If I told my mum or MIL to replace something because it had wee on it I'd be laughed at and rightly so.

TimeofChange · 19/07/2013 20:36

I had a friend who changed her DS's clothes everytime he got a bit of soil / dirt / food / drink on them.

Children don't need to look perfectly clean.

They need to play and get mucky.
It is great fun.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 20:37

They aren't doodles, they are leather, half price in the sale because they are summer season. Her old shoes are doodles. I didn't realise I was so fussy, I realise it is wasteful to throw them away, which I wouldn't do. I would keep them for mucking about. But is it not wasteful to ruin a new pair shoes??

OP posts:
Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 20:41

Sorry but everyone is saying its just a bit wee, kids wee on things when potty training etc etc. but these shoes are actually soaking in wee. An afternoon of wee. Would you all be happy to walk around in a pair of (washed) shoes that have been peed in multiple times? And I'm not even sure of her dress was removed, that could well be soaked aswell, DD was bathed and pj'd when she came home.

OP posts:
FrogsGoWhat · 19/07/2013 20:44

They wont be ruined by a bit of pee FGS.

I think it's lovely that her Grandma had a lovely time in the garden all nice and cool without her nappy on - but was considerate enough to protect her feet from splinters etc...

FrogsGoWhat · 19/07/2013 20:44

Just wash them out and let them dry.

DontmindifIdo · 19/07/2013 20:53

OK so lesson learned, don't send your DD to your Mums in anything good.

also, your Mum doesn't need time alone with your DD, if you don't need the childcare, you find the way your DM cares for DD stressful, and you are annoyed that things are ruined when your DM is in charge, just stop her having DD with out you there for a while. You don't have to stop your DM seeing DD, just have her come over when you are in, go there and stay too so you can step in if you aren't happy with anything.

5madthings · 19/07/2013 20:54

Sorry but yabu, wash then, stuff them with newspaper and bicarb to get rid of the snekk and they will be dine.

There is no point stressing over toddler shoes as they get trashed! My dd like her brothers has wide feet, so her shoes are £40+ a paid as Clark's etc don't do shoes wide enough. Her recent pair are fabulous pea green leather ones absolutely gorgeous but the first day she wore then she scuffed then, they have also had wee and puke on them, today they got blood in as she had a nose bleed.. You can't be precious with toddler clothes/shoes. Yes its annoying but they are not ruined.

Original poster
booksandchoc · 19/07/2013 21:00

Dontmindifodo, think that's what I'm going to do. Don't need the childcare, and I am just getting increasingly frustrated with DM. I know shoes will get trashed, I am being unreasonable. Its annoying they didnt have to be trashed so quickly.

OP posts:
fanoftheinvisibleman · 19/07/2013 21:01

To be honest ds did walk round in shoes full of pee. Potty training was a bloody nightmare with a 3 year old who couldn't care less and managed to pee in half pints! Give me a puppy to housetrain over a toddler all day long!

Yabu to go out and buy new without even trying ti wash them. If you are buying new anyway then you have nothing to lose by trying. And for what it is worth I chuck leather trainers in the washer every few weeks and have never damaged a pair yet so I'd give it a go.

cheerfulweather · 19/07/2013 21:02

I think they can be saved. Disinfect then dry them out, some scuff cover, and they'll last a little longer yet.

BigPantyGirl · 19/07/2013 21:04

YAB a bit U, but I think it's the heat!!!
My dd pissed in her brand new trainers a couple of months ago, I washed them in the machine 3 times, soaked them for hours and scrubbed them, but they still reeked. So I don't blame you for complaining about pissy shoes.
You maybe should get some crocs or jelly shoes for her though for garden play. And remember, when you're a granny you can be relaxed with your grandchildren, feed thm junk food and not spend time nagging! That's what grandparents do. I give up with my in laws now!