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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Read another thread ...and now panicking!

58 replies

WaitakereWaif · 16/07/2013 14:54

In short ....
DD, DSIL + 2DDGs are on holiday for 2 weeks. The other parents and I are house/dog sitting in turns, while they are away
Since buying the house 2 years ago, DD & family have been manically busy and have simply had no time to deal with the garden which (other than one small area) is a wilderness of overgrown grass etc.
As an extended family, we all get on very well ..... both DD & DSIL have been very upfront if anything does cross a boundary for them, and all of us respect both the honesty and the boundaries. In other words .... happy families.

So ....the other parents and I were chatting about handling changeover day etc, got talking about the garden ....and came up with the idea of surprising them with a mini makeover to come home to. I know DD has been desperate that they haven't been able to sort it this summer, and DSIL's parents were certain that he would not be miffed BUT ..have just read a thread in which it seems this may be seen as TOTALLY the wrong thing to do!! Weeds are now out, and grass strimmed so it can't be restored to the way it was before they get back ....but if we have really messed up, then we could not do the planned planting etc

Have never opened a thread before, and aware that this may be the worst place to have done it, but really really need to know if we have fouled up totally, before they get home, so I can have some sort of apology ready. A very timid: "help, please - your thoughts?"!

OP posts:
MmeLindor · 16/07/2013 14:56

I can only say that I wish you were my mum or MIL.

I wouldn't be happy with total makeover cause I have my ideas of what I want in the way of slabs etc, but would totally ADORE to come home to a tidy garden with space to sit.

BlackMini · 16/07/2013 14:57

I don't quite understand what's going on but K can't imagine anyone complaining that their garden had been cut and weeded!

Llanbobl · 16/07/2013 14:57

I wish someone would do that for meGrin I might be a bit embarrassed that someone else had had to intervene, but overall I would be immensely grateful.

You know your family best and how they'll react/whether they'll see this as overstepping the boundaries.

aldiwhore · 16/07/2013 14:58

Don't worry. If you've done it without judgement and it's a nice surprise then I'm pretty sure it will be taken well x

MyDaydream · 16/07/2013 14:58

I'd love you forever if you surprised me with a garden make over that included planting things. But I also don't mind when my mum/MIL tidy my house up either.

Original poster
WaitakereWaif · 16/07/2013 15:00

MmeLindor No major changes at all. Just weeding, tidying and putting in some flowers in tubs and existing beds.

OP posts:
Vivacia · 16/07/2013 15:01

It sounds lovely. I don't think you can have done any harm by the sounds of things. Perhaps just reassure them that it's a start / blank canvas for them to do up as they wish?

kali110 · 16/07/2013 15:02

What a nice person you are!

onlyfortonight · 16/07/2013 15:02

I think it is a lovely idea...I wish you were related to me! As a compromise, you seemed to have done a lot of the hard work of hacking back the undergrowth, maybe you could club together and get a garden centre token for them to go and buy the plants they want, since you would have had to spend quite a sum of money on the plants and are now afraid to go any further.

However, you know them better than anyone, and just because someone else had a problem and wrote a thread about it doesn't mean that for your DD and DSIL wouldn't think it was the best home coming present in the world!

DameDeepRedBetty · 16/07/2013 15:02

I would stop where you are, you've got it under control. I'd be sort of miffed if it was me and I hadn't had any input in choosing the plants that I'm going to be living with IYSWIM. But as things stand I would be sobbing with joy at seeing the awful initial clearing down, and I think it's really really nice of you all.

DameDeepRedBetty · 16/07/2013 15:03

*done not down!

poocatcherchampion · 16/07/2013 15:03

yes please in the queue for you as well.. sounds lovely.

tittytittyhanghang · 16/07/2013 15:04

I find MN totally alien to real life a lot of the time. Unless they were specifically going for the overgrown grass look, i'd imagine they will be delighted. Free gardening, whats not to like!

Montybojangles · 16/07/2013 15:04

What planting were you planning? If it just small flowering annuals it shouldn't be a problem. Then it's just a tidy up and brighten up. Big trees/shrubs etc might not be so good.

I can see its a lovely idea, but as someone who has recently got rid of her gardener as he kept changing the overall garden theme (I want cottage garden, he seemed to take that to mean formal, symmetrical uber neatness) I can also see that it might not go down quite as well as you hoped if you change it too much.

I'm sure they will really appreciate coming back to a garden that they can get into and enjoy, so don't panic too much :)

nemno · 16/07/2013 15:05

I would love this BUT don't plant too much that requires dead heading and watering. This heatwave is set to continue and watering is a chore to me as it currently needs doing every day and our water butt is empty.

Original poster
WaitakereWaif · 16/07/2013 15:05

onlyfortonight the garden centre voucher is a brilliant idea! do you think it would be OK to put in a few of the things I have lifted and split from my own garden, just so there is a bit of colour in it to start them off? Mostly in pots, so its all fairly mobile.

OP posts:
Poledra · 16/07/2013 15:07

OP, I'd love it. In fact, when my dad comes down to stay, I often come home from work to discover my garden is bigger than I thought as dad has set to work (he is, as he says himself, of the 'slash-and-burn' school of gardening, but honestly he's just taming the jungle for me). My DH has sometimes said to me the garden looks a bit bare after dad's been let loose but even DH acknowledges that we'd be fighting tigers if dad didn't sort it out for us.

You know your family best and it sounds like you and your SIL's parents have consulted , so I think it'll be fine. In fact, dad's getting on a bit and not as ruthless as he used to be - would you like to come and do mine next? Grin

SilverOldie · 16/07/2013 15:07

It sounds brilliant and when you've finished there, my address is ........................... Grin

Original poster
WaitakereWaif · 16/07/2013 15:08

Montybojangles we had taken from on our gardens on a few small flowering shrubs, but mostly bright sparkly annuals as baby DGD loves flowers but likes bright coloured ones best.

OP posts:
Montybojangles · 16/07/2013 15:10

Small flowering plants sound fine. They can relocate them if they want.

insanityscratching · 16/07/2013 15:12

I think that's lovely and done just in time for the family to enjoy it this summer. I'm sure they will be thrilled and if there aren't any permanent fixtures being put in then it won't impinge on their own plans for the garden when they have the time.

spiderlight · 16/07/2013 15:13

I would be absolutely over the moon to come home to this!!

Twirlyhot · 16/07/2013 15:16

It sounds lovely. Just check that what you're planting won't cause any problems like lilies if they have cats or plants that might be toxic to dogs etc.

Original poster
WaitakereWaif · 16/07/2013 15:23

Thank you all! I was really panicking there for a minute, and managed to worry the other MIL, too, when I told her about input on other threads. Much relieved grannies, here !!

OP posts:
Katiepoes · 16/07/2013 15:24

Mine did just that while we were away a few weeks ago. I was off with my husband, they stayed at mine to take care of our daughter and in that time my horrible backyard was turned into a lovely plant filled plot you can actually sit in. I was delighted!

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