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AIBU?

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Original poster

Read another thread ...and now panicking!

58 replies

WaitakereWaif · 16/07/2013 14:54

In short ....
DD, DSIL + 2DDGs are on holiday for 2 weeks. The other parents and I are house/dog sitting in turns, while they are away
Since buying the house 2 years ago, DD & family have been manically busy and have simply had no time to deal with the garden which (other than one small area) is a wilderness of overgrown grass etc.
As an extended family, we all get on very well ..... both DD & DSIL have been very upfront if anything does cross a boundary for them, and all of us respect both the honesty and the boundaries. In other words .... happy families.

So ....the other parents and I were chatting about handling changeover day etc, got talking about the garden ....and came up with the idea of surprising them with a mini makeover to come home to. I know DD has been desperate that they haven't been able to sort it this summer, and DSIL's parents were certain that he would not be miffed BUT ..have just read a thread in which it seems this may be seen as TOTALLY the wrong thing to do!! Weeds are now out, and grass strimmed so it can't be restored to the way it was before they get back ....but if we have really messed up, then we could not do the planned planting etc

Have never opened a thread before, and aware that this may be the worst place to have done it, but really really need to know if we have fouled up totally, before they get home, so I can have some sort of apology ready. A very timid: "help, please - your thoughts?"!

OP posts:
Accidentallyquirky · 16/07/2013 15:28

When we went on our last family holiday we left a jungle and returned to a bright open space that had been cut pruned weeded and big trees chopped down.

I honestly appreciated it, it made a huge difference. Even now we still haven't got around to finishing it but its easy to keep on top of.

I think you sound lovely op and your daughter will be very grateful

ImperialBlether · 16/07/2013 15:37

Why don't you warn them in advance by sending a text saying, "It's so hot here and MIL and just fancy being outdoors all the time. Do you mind if we do a Sixty Minute Makeover on your garden? We'll have a BBQ ready for you when you return!"

ImperialBlether · 16/07/2013 15:38

If they go into an immediate sulk, at least they're in another country and after a day or two the other will say, "You know, it's not a bad idea..."

onlyfortonight · 16/07/2013 17:03

I think that a few perennials split off into pots of their own is a great idea...cheap, effective and of course endlessly moveable and returnable if in the end they don't fit the bill later. Otherwise finding, growing on and planting new garden centre plants can be expensive and complex. All gardeners appreciate new stock from others - just as long as they are not invasive (no mint or raspberries...)

34DD · 16/07/2013 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cantspel · 16/07/2013 17:11

I cant see why anyone would be upset about someone clearing their weeds, cutting the grass and planting a few shrubs as long as it wasn't knotweed or bamboo.

I think it is a lovely thing to do and any shrubs they really hated they could remove or just move to the back of the garden.

ZenGardener · 16/07/2013 17:16

I think it will be fine.

A friend of mine was in hospital recently and her husband and father in law strimmed the garden. They cut all her flowers down, destroyed her vegetable patch, she was so upset.

It sounds like you know what you are doing though and are being careful.

ZenGardener · 16/07/2013 17:18

I had to add. They actually strimmed her rhubarb. It was awful. What sort of idiot strims rhubarb and flowers?

meganorks · 16/07/2013 17:26

Sounds great to me. If they come home to lovely weather and a garden they can enjoy I'm sure they will be very grateful

MumnGran · 16/07/2013 17:36

Zen
Shock
Men should never be let loose with strimmers, unsupervised Grin

whois · 16/07/2013 18:04

You are lovely, I don't understand how anyone could be cross at having their garden sorted out.

ShowOfHands · 16/07/2013 18:12

You are lovely.

For my 30th birthday, my MIL gave me enough money to buy a book and unlimited tea/soup/cakes/scones in a bookshop/teashop, arranged childcare and gave me a free 4hrs. When I came back to bathed, happy children (4 and 3 months respectively), she'd cleaned my house from top to bottom too.

I was THRILLED.

I woke up the other morning and overnight FIL had been in my garden, delivered a handmade picnic table with benches, weeded my beds and removed some garden waste. He was 'passing'. Yeah, with a picnic bench and his strimmer.

Everybody should have parents/inlaws like mine and like you.

FurryDogMother · 16/07/2013 18:17

I wish I had family like you! One idea - if your DD is at all interested in cooking - is to add a pot of herbs near to their back door - I love being able to pop out and cut a few sprigs when I need them (I have parsley, basil, thyme, rosemary and chives).

twinklyfingers · 16/07/2013 18:26

I haven't seen the thread you're referring to, but my mum and dad tidied up our garden (weeded, took away trailers full of rubbish, cut grass, watered plants, removed dead trees!) while we were on holiday recently. We were delighted. I guess only you will know if your dd and family will see this as an invasion of privacy or a welcome treat. I would hope they'd be appreciative.

BoundandRebound · 16/07/2013 18:27

Oh I think that's lovely and gardens are easy to change if they don't like planting

How lovely you are

McNewPants2013 · 16/07/2013 18:27

Think I need to go on holiday :)

Don't worry about it, you have done a wonderful surprise.

ThePowerof3 · 16/07/2013 18:30

It was the neighbour who interfered with the OP of the other threads garden after being told not to, you sound like you're doing something lovely for your family

NomDeOrdinateur · 16/07/2013 18:36

What a kind, thoughtful and sensitive person you must be - please don't even consider feeling bad! I'm sure your DD and DSIL will be really touched, as well as very pleased.

I've never had a great relationship with my PIL but, even so, I'd be delighted and deeply grateful if they did that for me. Same goes for my DP of course.

Eilidhbelle · 16/07/2013 18:52

I think it's a lovely idea, but if you're at all worried about how well it'll go down then why not stop and just get vouchers for a garden centre so they can choose it themselves?

If you're thinking of the thread where the OP had been aske if someone could do her garden, and she'd said no, and they crept in and did it anyway - that was a totally different (and odd) situation.

Floggingmolly · 16/07/2013 18:57

That's a lovely thing to do! Honestly, if anyone is ungracious enough not to appreciate the thought and hard work behind this, they don't deserve you.

xigris · 16/07/2013 18:57

If I PM you my address would you come and do the same for me, please? What a lovely, kind think you've done for your family. I would be beyond delighted if I came home from holiday to find this done for me Flowers

bornagaindomesticgoddess · 16/07/2013 18:58

Just pretend it was nothing to do with you, that you got home from a day out and it was just like that.

CalamityJ · 16/07/2013 19:03

I think I might have been on that thread bitching about my MIL sticking her nose into my garden. But it was the way she handled it rather than the actually very kind and thoughtful gesture of paying for a gardener to sort it out. So if she'd done what you did with no moaning about the state of my garden beforehand and just had her gardener come round while we were out and do all the stuff I'd have been thanking her profusely! So if it was me who put you off ignore me. Your gesture sounds lovely and will help them enjoy the garden in this beautiful weather Grin

MumnGran · 16/07/2013 19:17

Calamity Eilidh & ThePower ...it was actually that thread which got me thinking about the garden issue and originally posting, ( hope this doesn't get me banned for discussing something ..... if I am out of line, could MNHQ please just delete this post? ) but then I read further and got far more concerned about whether or not I was also being a control freak, and the kids just hide it well Confused [worried] Sad [horrified]

Everyone here has been rather nice about it though, so I have given myself a bit of a shake, and concluded that if I am, then actually my SILs parents must be too ....so either its all actually fine, or the couple will shortly run for the hills from all of us!!

storytopper · 16/07/2013 19:22

OP, you sound lovely and what you have done sound just great. Hope your DD appreciates it.

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