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AIBU?

to think if we are going out for family meal ds should get one too

85 replies

likesnowflakesinanocean · 12/07/2013 13:41

family occasion coming up, two elder relatives have decided to take family out totalling about 18 people so has to be booked. my dad told me in passing yesterday that they won't be ordering ds age 6 a meal because it would be a waste of money. ds is quite a good eater there are lots of things he likes. I then said well I will pay for ds meal. oh no they are going to ask for a small plate so he can have bits that won't get wasted. aibu to think if you invite us out for a meal you invite us all and that 6yo ds is capable of eating a children's meal in restaurant. its not as though they don't see him often so know that he will. wibu to say we were not going if this is the case.

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likesnowflakesinanocean · 20/07/2013 10:01

thought is update you all that the madness continues and due to them pandering to everyone's differing schedules we won't be eating till gone eight so ds will probably end up having tea at home then a pudding at the meal as he won't be able to wait till 8 to half past for his tea.

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CSIJanner · 20/07/2013 10:15

If the table is for eight, expect to eat around nine. That's personally too late for me these days, especially with children, so if it was me, I would decline.

And YANBU

MissDuke · 20/07/2013 10:24

My sil decided she didn't want any children at her wedding as she didn't want to have to pay for their meals, so I actually did say that either we would pay or my then 6yo and 3yo could share our food - the youngest was only a few weeks old and bf by the time of the wedding. She said no because if she allowed me to bring even my baby, then others would want to bring kids too, and would expect to be fed (naturally). The kids meals were only a few pounds :-/

So we didn't go, I wouldn't have left the baby anyway.

In your case, I would def go ahead and pay for the meal myself. Though I must admit my kids love getting scraps, they enjoy the variety of a 'bit of everything' and by the time everyone donates a bit, they end up with loads!

Emilythornesbff · 20/07/2013 11:02

OMG. I wouldn't go.
Can't bear all that fucking about.
Stay at home and leave them to it.

QueenofLouisiana · 20/07/2013 11:09

Take DS a "meal" with you, preferably a McD's happy meal. He could sit and eat it out of the bag (using his fingers) in front of everyone. You could explain the problem to anyone who asked. IME elderly relatives would love to see that at a family occasion.

I reckon you'd find a meal being ordered before the second nugget was out of the box!

MortifiedAdams · 20/07/2013 11:13

Dear.me......six years old! Do the relatives who are saying this know how old he is? DD is 18mo and I will not be able to do the sharer thing for much longer.

Plus, a kids meal is, what, a fiver?! So what if he doesnt clear his plate!

Patosshades · 20/07/2013 11:18

I'm guessing the other relatives ordering this don't have much day to day interaction with your son. If that's the case they may not be aware of how much food a 6 year old can pack away and probably have visions of him being served up an adults meal and it being left there.

Go to the meal, order him a childs meal when you get there. They're unlikely unless completely bonkers to take the plate away from him once you're all seated and ready to eat.

Lollydaydream · 20/07/2013 11:30

Are they very elderly, have they reached that stage where they think that meals out are huge and they talk throughout the while meal about only having a small appetite and ostentatiously ask the staff about small portions? If so maybe they really don't think he will manage because they don't think they will?
It all sounds a bit of a palava, try to not let it get you down and just get your boy whatever he needs.

ManifestoMT · 20/07/2013 11:42

Gosh 8 o'clock is late for a 6 year old.

You will just have time to scoff and go. You won't get out of the restaurant by 10 ish he will be exhausted.
( possibly playing up with tiredness )
I would think about babysitters or dh staying home with ds or not going at all.
We had a family celebration with the same sort of thing. Old people actually affronted as how many potatoes the had been given as there were too many.
And they were really loud in a passive aggressive way about it.

Sigh
Over spuds ffs

likesnowflakesinanocean · 20/07/2013 12:46

mcds would be hilarious to do, ds would probably be happier to as its a really poncy place that over complicate the simpliest of recipes. I am abit worried about the time too as he gets up early will spend all day busy, has swimming that day then will be expected to be wide awake and chatting at 9pm. cant see it happening to be honest! am wondering whether its the best idea for us to go to be honest which is a shame as i dont see family often but they havent taken him into consideration at all but are insistent that he comes.

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ElizabethHornswoggle · 20/07/2013 13:05

You what?! He's 6, not a toddler! I could get their point if he was a toddler as I used to do that to mine when they were about 1 or 2 years of age as they were content with a small plate.
At 6 though? My ds is 6 now and would definitely still be hungry after just having bits off others plates!

HorryIsUpduffed · 20/07/2013 13:12

My DS1 first cleared a child's plate of food at a restaurant at about 11mo. It's outrageous to refuse to buy a 6yo a meal in these circumstances. Scraps indeed!

ManifestoMT · 20/07/2013 13:14

Well they can insist but I'd say its too late for a 6 year old , fed on scraps, in a poncey restaurant.

Insist away but it should be at a reasonable time

Weird that they think he is too young to eat but old enough to stay up.
He will probably be bored shitless as well.
It's not as if he can drink alcohol to numb the boredom

SaucyJack · 20/07/2013 13:17

Weird! YANBU.

kungfupannda · 20/07/2013 13:22

Bloody hell, my 18 month old DS2 ate a entire kid's meal yesterday and then polished off all his brother's leftovers, and was still wanting more!

I think you might need to get a bit shirty about this. Normally I take the view that if someone is treating you, then you shouldn't start making demands, but it doesn't sound like much of a treat - more of a summons. You SHALL come to the meal and you SHALL eat scraps and be grateful.

I would be inclined to tell them that it is completely unreasonable to expect a six year-old to be fed with scraps off people's plates, as if he was a baby and that he either has a meal, like the other children, or he doesn't come.

Alternatively, just ring the restaurant yourself and place the order yourself. Then if they object on the night, pull this face and say "I'm paying for it. What's the problem?" They're going to look a it odd if they throw a hissy fit over a child having a meal that someone else is paying for.

pigletmania · 20/07/2013 13:22

Yanbu at all tightwads.imwould even order dd 6 a chids meal and she is a dreadful eater. Once you get there order and pay for a meal yourself, they can't stop you, Now way would my chid be eating scraps

nkf · 20/07/2013 13:23

Stop talking about scraps and leftovers in this Oliver twist sort of way. Just sort out his meal when you get there. If course they are being ridiculous and a bit crap. And don't try to make.him eat a huge meal just to prove a.point.

kungfupannda · 20/07/2013 13:23

Or just turn up without him. Again, if they complain just look blank and say "We said it was too late for him and it's not as though you'd ordered him a meal, so what's the problem?"

nkf · 20/07/2013 13:25

Just seen the time. Even easier. Get a babysitter. If you don't have a babysitter, one of you go.

Thumbwitch · 20/07/2013 13:32

After your update, I'd be telling them where to stick it as well, tbh. As others have said, if you turn up at 8, it will be nearer 9 by the time you eat and even my DS (5) is in bed by 9.

We went out for a meal last night for my birthday, and got there at 6:15, ate at around 7, had to wait at least 20 minutes for dessert and then home by 8:30. THAT schedule worked very well for us - we could have managed up to half an hour later, but no more than that in reality (and that would have been difficult).

I think you may have to accept that one or more of you don't go.

likesnowflakesinanocean · 20/07/2013 14:26

we may end up not going as Noone to babysit they are all at meal. thanks for all advice

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likesnowflakesinanocean · 20/07/2013 14:28

nkf I agree he wouldn't want a huge meal and I wouldnt make him just to prove a point just seems as though they are jumping thrpugh hoops to accommodate the adults and not factoring in the children

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Viviennemary · 20/07/2013 14:34

I would be more than a bit put out as well. Your DS is six not one so is entitled to his own meal. I could see the point if a child has a habit of wasting an entire plate of food but not if your son eats well. I might think about not going at all. If it was no children's meals paid for then fine but if other children are having their meals paid for then it's more than unfair. Families!!

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/07/2013 14:42

Yadnu!

Wtf is that about?!

Bogeyface · 20/07/2013 14:56

This sounds far too much like hard work, I would just not go!

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