to think if we are going out for family meal ds should get one too

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

family occasion coming up, two elder relatives have decided to take family out totalling about 18 people so has to be booked. my dad told me in passing yesterday that they won't be ordering ds age 6 a meal because it would be a waste of money. ds is quite a good eater there are lots of things he likes. I then said well I will pay for ds meal. oh no they are going to ask for a small plate so he can have bits that won't get wasted. aibu to think if you invite us out for a meal you invite us all and that 6yo ds is capable of eating a children's meal in restaurant. its not as though they don't see him often so know that he will. wibu to say we were not going if this is the case.

[Notcontent]

My dd, of a similar age, would be in tears if she wasn't allowed her own meal. It does sound like something from the Victorian era....

[OhMerGerd]

Just go enjoy time with your family stop worrying. It's a restaurant whether a bargain barn or Michelin starred if you ask for a meal for your son they will make one.
Just go. Have fun I'm sure no offence intended.

[FunLovinBunster]

I wouldn't go because its far too late for a 6 year old IMHO.
My DD is a lousy eater, but I would still order her her own choice of meal.
Your relatives are extremely rude. I wouldn't waste your time visiting them either. If they ask why cite their rudeness, inflexibility and inability to understand a child's point of view.

[pumpkinsweetie]

Sounds like they don't want him there scraps for a 6yo!
I wouldn't even bother going if they cannot be straight with you!

[nkf]

Some places don't do kids menus. Fancy places don't on the whole. Of course what people mean by fancy varies, but lots and lots of places don't bother. Particularly at night. Old people often are a bit clueless about kids. I remember my grandmother buying me tea sets when I was about 12.

Of course, on an MN AiBU, everything is a calculated insult and requires a full on passive aggressive response, preferably via Facebook.

What the fuck!
Hell would freeze over before my child would be given leftovers!
And so on.

[HaveIGotPoosForYou]

Oh and 9 o'clock seems very late to eat, even for a lot of adults.

I'd simply not go. I know it's gutting as you don't get to see family often, but if they aren't factoring in your DS what can be done?

Have a little meal of your own at home instead as a little treat. Pretend to be eating fancy food and make it fun for him :)

[HaveIGotPoosForYou]

You should get him to get a plate and in Oliver Twist style after he's been given a scrap say,

"Please Sir, I want some more!"

See what your Dad says then.

Is it just your DS or any other young kids that will be eating (under 7?) are the 9 and 11 year old yours, or another siblings?

Just baffles me.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

like

Tell them to do one, they obviously don't want him there.

[mikkii]

At 2, DS and his cousin (same age) would share an adult meal between them (their tastes ran better than most places children's menu).

DD1 is 6, if she and I were expected to share, I would go hungry! She has a very healthy appetite and usually would not be satisfied with a children's main course. That would be enough if there had been starters/nibbles and a dessert.

YANBU, but, perhaps the elderly relatives are forgetting is age and what a good eater he is. My parents forget stuff like this now.

[formicadinosaur]

If he was 2 that would be fine but a 6 year old needs a meal.

[Bogeyface]

This sounds far too much like hard work, I would just not go!

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yadnu!

Wtf is that about?!

[Viviennemary]

I would be more than a bit put out as well. Your DS is six not one so is entitled to his own meal. I could see the point if a child has a habit of wasting an entire plate of food but not if your son eats well. I might think about not going at all. If it was no children's meals paid for then fine but if other children are having their meals paid for then it's more than unfair. Families!!

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

nkf I agree he wouldn't want a huge meal and I wouldnt make him just to prove a point just seems as though they are jumping thrpugh hoops to accommodate the adults and not factoring in the children

[likesnowflakesinanocean]

we may end up not going as Noone to babysit they are all at meal. thanks for all advice

[Thumbwitch]

After your update, I'd be telling them where to stick it as well, tbh. As others have said, if you turn up at 8, it will be nearer 9 by the time you eat and even my DS (5) is in bed by 9.

We went out for a meal last night for my birthday, and got there at 6:15, ate at around 7, had to wait at least 20 minutes for dessert and then home by 8:30. THAT schedule worked very well for us - we could have managed up to half an hour later, but no more than that in reality (and that would have been difficult).

I think you may have to accept that one or more of you don't go.

[nkf]

Just seen the time. Even easier. Get a babysitter. If you don't have a babysitter, one of you go.

[kungfupannda]

Or just turn up without him. Again, if they complain just look blank and say "We said it was too late for him and it's not as though you'd ordered him a meal, so what's the problem?"

[nkf]

Stop talking about scraps and leftovers in this Oliver twist sort of way. Just sort out his meal when you get there. If course they are being ridiculous and a bit crap. And don't try to make.him eat a huge meal just to prove a.point.

[pigletmania]

Yanbu at all tightwads.imwould even order dd 6 a chids meal and she is a dreadful eater. Once you get there order and pay for a meal yourself, they can't stop you, Now way would my chid be eating scraps

[kungfupannda]

Bloody hell, my 18 month old DS2 ate a entire kid's meal yesterday and then polished off all his brother's leftovers, and was still wanting more!

I think you might need to get a bit shirty about this. Normally I take the view that if someone is treating you, then you shouldn't start making demands, but it doesn't sound like much of a treat - more of a summons. You SHALL come to the meal and you SHALL eat scraps and be grateful.

I would be inclined to tell them that it is completely unreasonable to expect a six year-old to be fed with scraps off people's plates, as if he was a baby and that he either has a meal, like the other children, or he doesn't come.

Alternatively, just ring the restaurant yourself and place the order yourself. Then if they object on the night, pull this face and say "I'm paying for it. What's the problem?" They're going to look a it odd if they throw a hissy fit over a child having a meal that someone else is paying for.

[SaucyJack]

Weird! YANBU.

[ManifestoMT]

Well they can insist but I'd say its too late for a 6 year old , fed on scraps, in a poncey restaurant.

Insist away but it should be at a reasonable time

Weird that they think he is too young to eat but old enough to stay up.
He will probably be bored shitless as well.
It's not as if he can drink alcohol to numb the boredom

[HorryIsUpduffed]

My DS1 first cleared a child's plate of food at a restaurant at about 11mo. It's outrageous to refuse to buy a 6yo a meal in these circumstances. Scraps indeed!

[ElizabethHornswoggle]

You what?! He's 6, not a toddler! I could get their point if he was a toddler as I used to do that to mine when they were about 1 or 2 years of age as they were content with a small plate.
At 6 though? My ds is 6 now and would definitely still be hungry after just having bits off others plates!