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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to report my colleague for this? *contains upsetting content re child abuse*

79 replies

RalphGnu · 11/07/2013 11:39

Had to pop into work yesterday to pick something up from my boss and popped my head into the staff area to say hello to some colleagues. One of the lads that I work with (22 years old) was laughing at a video he was watching on his phone and showing it to his friend, asked me if I wanted to see.

It was a home video, not made by him, of a man hitting a small asian boy across the face. He looked to be about 5. My lovely colleague found this hilarious and when I got upset, made a horrid racist remark excusing the behaviour and implying I was uptight about it.

I had to leave straight away but after an hour I called my manager and told him what I'd seen. He was horrified and told me to leave it with him. I've had a text from a colleague this morning to say the lad in question has been suspended pending an investigation and there are some other colleagues apparently annoyed with me for going to my manager about this as it wasn't work related and the lad himself hadn't made the video, and the poor lad could now lose his job.

I can't see how anyone could defend him for this, I really don't. We've all recently had to sign an update to our contracts with regards to social media and internet use which explicitly forbids staff from sharing this kind of thing. No decent human being wants to see that kind of shit.

Suppose the lad keeps his job. WIBU to refuse to work with a nasty, vile, racist child abuse excuser?

OP posts:
RalphGnu · 11/07/2013 11:40

Sorry, the title asks if I WBU to report him; I know I wasn't.

OP posts:
Sparklymommy · 11/07/2013 11:43

YANBU

I am sick of seeing all the child abuse and animal abuse pics/vids posted and shared on Facebook and other social media sites. It's sick.

Solari · 11/07/2013 11:45

Not unreasonable at all. I don't understand the mindset of someone who can laugh at an actual video of a child being assaulted.

But more than not being able to understand it, I would feel that if I didn't report him, I was silently 'going along' with his belief that it was just fine to be viewing and laughing at it for entertainment.

That's before even touching on his comments.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 11/07/2013 11:45

good for you.

I wish more people stood up to be counted when this sort of shit is shown round.

If he loses his job, he has nobody to blame but himself.

PatsyAndEddy · 11/07/2013 11:45

YANBU and well done.

SweetBabyJebus · 11/07/2013 11:46

We've all recently had to sign an update to our contracts with regards to social media and internet use which explicitly forbids staff from sharing this kind of thing.

There's your answer. It's against company policy. He's got nobody to blame but himself. You did the right thing.

aturtlenamedmack · 11/07/2013 11:47

Yanbu.
Agree with hecsy his behaviour would be the reason for his dismissal, not you.

LemonBreeland · 11/07/2013 11:49

YANBU. HOw anyone can find something like that funny is beyond me.

BrokenBanana · 11/07/2013 11:49

Yanbu at all! What sort of person laughs at child abuse? Confused

BerryLellow · 11/07/2013 11:50

YANBU, by any stretch. That's appalling :(

TraceyTrickster · 11/07/2013 11:50

Although not nice to see anyone sacked, if it is in your contract, they are the rules.

At my workplace, you are not allowed to use your mobile- even bluetooth - in a car. Someone was sacked for being seen on the phone in a work car park. Harsh but it is made very clear.

RalphGnu · 11/07/2013 11:51

It keeps replaying over and over in my head. I'm looking at my little boy now wondering who the fuck could do that to a child? Or find it funny or enjoyable? Sick freaky little arse. His girlfriend is pregnant too.

There isn't enough money in the world that would make me want to work with him again; I don't ever want to see his pathetic, weaselly little face. Could I actually refuse to?

OP posts:
MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 11/07/2013 11:52

YANBU

and bloody well done for reporting it, if there were more people like you then maybe idiots like that would think twice

ANormalOne · 11/07/2013 11:52

YANBU. I once reported a girl in my college for calling another girl on our course a 'downy' on a facebook, we were studying childcare, she was later kicked off of her course. Our college had the same rule about social media.

RalphGnu · 11/07/2013 11:53

I've just got to go and make lunch for DS, so have to disappear for a short while.

OP posts:
mignonette · 11/07/2013 11:56

Good for you. I blew the whistle on a senior nurse physically and racially abusing a patient and it is a hard path to follow but it is the right one. There are organisations online that will support you emotionally through this process. Do contact them and feel free to PM me should you feel a need to talk to somebody who understands what it can be like. Any time....

LilacPeony · 11/07/2013 11:57

What sort of person finds seeing that entertaining? I would find that really upsetting. Thankfully no one on my FB would post anything like that or animal abuse as they would be appalled by it too i would hope. It is worrying that people would find it funny and well done for making a stand against it. Nobody should be cross you reported it, unless they think child abuse is funny too, in which case they should probably be got rid of too. Awful to think that a child could be abused specifically because there is a market for seeing this sort of thing. Anyone watchign it is contributing to more children being abused for entertainment. Sad

LilacPeony · 11/07/2013 11:57

Just read back your OP and see he was racist too, even worse.

gaggiagirl · 11/07/2013 11:59

You did the right thing and if your colleagues think otherwise there is something wrong with them. More people should stand up to this sort of behaviour.
Truly well done.

YouTheCat · 11/07/2013 12:00

He's a nasty little shit. People like him don't deserve to have jobs.

Hope he gets the sack.

saulaboutme · 11/07/2013 12:08

well done for being brave enough to report him.

When he has to explain to people he has been suspended for viewing a child abuse video on his mobile phone at work, maybe the penny will drop with him.

HorryIsUpduffed · 11/07/2013 12:13

I'm aware of a case where someone reported someone else over a social media incident. After a brief investigation it was clear nothing bad had happened, so no more was said.

If he hadn't done a bad thing, he would not have been suspended. Even if it didn't fall under social networking rules it would fall under equality act or other discrimination provisions.

LalyRawr · 11/07/2013 12:16

I would have done the same.

Actually, probably would have overkilled it and gone t the police. I'm sure sharing images of child abuse must be a crime.

But that's me and I'm well aware I am unreasonable for 99% of the time.

SuperStrength · 11/07/2013 12:18

Well done to you for reporting it & well done to the organisation for responding so well.
If the colleague who disagrees with you makes these comments to you directly I would be robust but calm & ask how he can defend anyone who isn'd horrified by child abuse.

specialsubject · 11/07/2013 12:22

who on any spectrum of normal would find this video anything but horrific?

good on you, OP. This 'lad' is sick and twisted and you don't want to work with him.

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