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Original poster

To be upset that someone on fb has just put ' like' on my post that my mum is about to die..?

82 replies

Scarletohello · 10/07/2013 22:09

My mum has been in a care home for 4 years,after suffering a severe stroke thatleft her pararlysed, unable to speak or swallow food. It's been an incredibly stressful and distressing time, compounded by the fact that my dad has dementia and is going blind. I got a call from the care home yesterday to say the it looked like she was nearing the end of her life. I have been in to see her the last 2 days and she is v pale, frail and all her organs are shutting down I posted on fb tonight about the fact that she was nearing the end of her life and have had some incredilbly kind and supportive replies. But one so called friend just ticked 'like' and didn't write anything WTAF?? Why would some one 'like' that your mum is dying??? Stupid new age freak! I'm so pissed off, I don't need this now ( just needed to vent, sorry..)

OP posts:
QOD · 10/07/2013 22:11

This reply has been deleted

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StrangeGlue · 10/07/2013 22:11

I'm so sorry, I hope you have support in real life through this really difficult time.

Some people use 'like' to show they've read something rather than because they actually like the content. Maybe your friend meant it like that.

mynameisslimshady · 10/07/2013 22:13

I'm so sorry about your Mum Sad

Your friend could have accidently pressed it, or just not known what to say, I doubt it was meant to upset you further. It may be an idea to stay off fb if its causing you more pain for now.

I hope the next few weeks are as gentle as they can be on you Thanks

CloudsAndTrees · 10/07/2013 22:13

So sorry to hear about your Mum Sad

I think the 'like' was probably meant as an acknowledgment that they had read and had thought of you and wanted you to know that, rather than meaning they actually liked the situation you posted about. Sometimes people don't know what to say in difficult situations, but they want to convey some kind of sympathy.

YouTheCat · 10/07/2013 22:14

So sorry, Scarlet.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 10/07/2013 22:14

Oh Scarletohello, I am sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time.
As for the FB like, is there a chance the person clicked like more as a way of saying "I have read your post" than that they actually like what you said?
Try to ignore it, you have enough to worry about right now.

MistyB · 10/07/2013 22:14

I'm sure they mean that they have read your post and are thinking of you at such a terrible time and have no words that will help and anything they will say will sound hollow and trite but there is no button for that. Wishing you the strength you need at this difficult time.

AmberLeaf · 10/07/2013 22:15

Sorry about your Mum.

I expect that person has 'liked' your status to acknowledge it and possibly show support.

Im sure they don't literally 'like' the fact that your Mum is dying.

Doodledumdums · 10/07/2013 22:16

I'm really sorry about your Mum Sad

Don't take it personally though, I think when people use FB on phones (me included!), it is quite easy to accidentally like things as you are scrolling up and down the news feed, so she may not have realised that she has liked it at all. I accidentally liked a status once which was totally inappropriate, and I had to message the person and apologise, I felt terrible, but it was a genuine accident.

LilacPeony · 10/07/2013 22:16

I see your point, but hopefully they meant it in a "thinking of you" sort of way. Sorry about your mum.

LannisterLion · 10/07/2013 22:16

I think a lot of people "like" statuses like this as a means to show support, not realising it comes across as insensitive.
Thoughts with you Flowers

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper · 10/07/2013 22:17

They could have liked it by accident. An iPhone and clumsy thumbs mean I like things by accident sometimes.

QOD · 10/07/2013 22:17

Oopsy, my reply had a bad word, I was being supportive I promise,

I think people don't think what it means, they are kind of acknowledging quickly that they've read it. It's crap .:(

HorryIsUpduffed · 10/07/2013 22:17

Sorry to hear your sad news.

My mother always "likes" my genuinely sad statuses (eg the one where I said I'd been told my hearing was as bad as an 80yo), where I haven't even used humour to take the edge off. I'm pretty sure she uses "like" to mean "acknowledge".

Last thing you need though.

YonicTheHedgehog · 10/07/2013 22:19

I hope you're ok and have some support at home.

Sometimes I 'like' by mistake if I'm Facebooking on my phone. It must be a mistake.

WillowKnicks · 10/07/2013 22:20

I used to be shocked on FB that people liked tragic posts but it is an acknowledgement & agreeing with the sentiment of the status.

Sorry about your Mum Sad

fanoftheinvisibleman · 10/07/2013 22:21

So sorry about your mum.

I have a close friend whose teenage son has recently been diagnosed with cancer. I was a little surprised that a few people liked some of her first messages letting people knpw what was happening but I think it is sometimes a cack handed way of trying to show support.

Turniptwirl · 10/07/2013 22:23

Sorry about your mum OP

I agree that it's probably an acknowledgment that they're thinking of you rather than they're glad

PolkaDottery · 10/07/2013 22:23

I agree that some people use like as a show of support.

Equally I was feeding my 9mo and had Facebook open on the iPad and she hit the screen and liked something (that I hastily unliked).

minouminou · 10/07/2013 22:24

I agree with almost everyone here.....it's a way to show that they're there for you.
It's the online equivalent of a wordless hand squeeze,

Hope the next few days are peaceful and that your mum passes quietly and with dignity.

MsVestibule · 10/07/2013 22:25

There is no way anybody would actually read a post like that and think "that sounds good, I think I'll 'like' it!". As others have said, she's just acknowledging what you've written without commenting, or she pressed it by accident.

You've got enough on your plate, don't give this another thought.

Bogeyface · 10/07/2013 22:26

Sometimes people dont know what to say, but "like" shows that they have read it and they care. It is just very unfortunate that the only option is the "like" button.

I am sorry that your mum is so ill, I was with my Grandma when she passed a year after a massive stroke that left her unable to drink or eat or speak. Her passing was peaceful and loving as she surrounded by her family, I am thinking of you and her xx

SauvignonBlanche · 10/07/2013 22:27

I'm very sorry about your Mum but liking a post doesn't mean that you're glad that something is happening, it's more that you are showing support.
I 'liked' a post my DSis wrote about her DD dying. It didn't mean I was glad my DN had died!

QuintessentialOldDear · 10/07/2013 22:29

I am sorry to hear about your mum.

I think many people just consider "like" to be an acknowledgement, similar to saying "I hear you" or "I understand" and often dont know what else to say. I doubt she really likes that your mum is dying, I am sure she is just acknowledging your post.

specialsubject · 10/07/2013 22:29

I'm sorry for your situation.

do remember that it is only Facebook. It doesn't matter.

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