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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be ever so slightly offended

85 replies

Madratlady · 10/07/2013 21:28

A couple of weeks ago our neighbour offered to mow our front lawn as it was getting long. I politely declined as I was buying a lawnmower that afternoon. DH mowed the lawn the next day.

A couple of weeks later someone had weeded our drive. I had bought some weedkiller but was waiting for dH to get round to it as I'm pregnant an don't want to be using harsh chemicals. It wasn't that bad.

Today I got home from work and noticed that someone had not only weeded the drive again but had also mowed the front lawn. It really wasn't that long although it did need doing this week.

AIBU to be offended that someone (I have a very good idea who) is judging our front garden and feeling the need to take things into their own hands since it's not up to her standards? And it's not just plain helpfulness, it's because our lawn wasn't quite as perfectly manicured as the rest of the street's lawns. Bloody snobby naice village.

Now I feel the need to dig out a border and plant flowers just to prove actually I can deal with my own garden thank you very much!

OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 10/07/2013 21:30

YANBU. Paint the outside of her house. Grin Can I put in an early vote for black and pink stripes.

Make sure you offer first though. Then do it anyway.

ThePowerof3 · 10/07/2013 21:30

Are you obviously pregnant? Maybe he was trying to be kind

Justforlaughs · 10/07/2013 21:31

Drop some small stones on your lawn, I guarantee that they won't do it again! GrinYANBU

Picturepuncture · 10/07/2013 21:32

Yanbu.

I have a neighbour like that. Last year he helpfully mowed ONE stripe into the middle of the lawn and cut half the hedge then buggered off.

I'd get a sign saying 'trespassers' will be prosecuted.

chipsandpeas · 10/07/2013 21:33

part of me would be glad that someone is that bothered about the state of my garden to do it for me
but part of me would be pissed off

FadBook · 10/07/2013 21:33

So someone has weeded your drive and mowed your lawn and you're not happy? Can you send them to mine?

I think YABU. They obviously haven't got a lot on and want to help you out. And if it makes the front of your house and the street look nice, that's a bonus.

Can you not see it as a kind act?

JoyceDivision · 10/07/2013 21:33

Buy lots of joke plastic dog poo and plonk them on your lawn (maybe chuck a real one on there too just for much hilarity) Grin

maddy68 · 10/07/2013 21:34

hang on - thats being neighbourly where I live - we all do each others lawns especially if we know someone is pregnant or infirm etc
perhaps they are just being nice?

Turniptwirl · 10/07/2013 21:34

I think that's just weird tbh (him not you).

On the other hand why not enjoy a free gardening service?

However that will come with strings attached I'm sure

Maybe plant flowers to spell out "stop cutting my garden". Plant them in his lawn for extra effect.

Go to the papers about "gardening fairy mystifies village"

Pop round and gush then say how much housework you have and if he could please start at 7 tomorrow morning that would be lovely

Ask for your weeds and grass cuttings back

Criticise the job loudly in the garden when he's in earshot

Cut his lawn. Badly.

JaquelineHyde · 10/07/2013 21:36

Why on earth would this offend you? People play good money for gardeners, relax and enjoy your pregnancy

ThePowerof3 · 10/07/2013 21:36

My DH always de ices and scrapes next doors steps when he does ours just out of courtesy

ThePowerof3 · 10/07/2013 21:37

Turniptwirl your suggestions have made me laugh!

HildaOgden · 10/07/2013 21:39

That's a real invasion of territory,and I'd be pissed off too.

Go around to whoever you suspect and ask them if they did it.They will probably say they did it to help you.Do not thank them.Calmly,and assertively,tell them that in future you do not want them to interfere with your gardening plans.

Alternatively,you could go around to theirs when they are out,and do something hideous,plant a leylandii or something...and tell them you were helping them create some shade.

I'd actually be really,really annoyed at this.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 10/07/2013 21:40

A neighbour has been mowing a bit of our grass. We would mow it ourselves but never get a chance because we can only do it at the weekend and they always get their first!

I do find it quite uncomfortable and unsettling - are they trying to be nice or having a go at us for not being up to scratch?

JackNoneReacher · 10/07/2013 21:45

As you have already politely declined once, they are being U to continue - even though I'm sure they are doing it to be nice.

Given that, I'd do what Hilda said and set some clear boundaries early on.

Devora · 10/07/2013 21:47

I would love to have my territory invaded like this. Maybe they could get themselves a key cut and do the washing up while they're at it?

HildaOgden · 10/07/2013 21:50

It's only nice if they have said it to you first ie 'I can run the mower over your lawn as well as mine while I have it out,that ok with you?'.

Waiting until you've gone out ,then coming in to sort it out,smacks to me of a perfectionist pissed off at the 'eyesore' that is your garden.

stella1w · 10/07/2013 21:54

My neighbour did this to me. I think partly because he is a neat freak and partly to be nice...

ConferencePear · 10/07/2013 21:54

So we've reached the stage where a kindness is suspect ?

JackNoneReacher · 10/07/2013 21:57

I don't think its 'suspect' just unwanted and therefore undesirable esp as she's already said no thank you.

SirBoobAlot · 10/07/2013 21:59

I think YABU. My neighbors sprayed my drive way with hard core weed killer recently, because they were doing theirs at the same time. Really appreciated it.

Might be slightly odd, but I certainly wouldn't be offended. You could always go and thank him, and mention that you've now got a lawn mower, so he doesn't need to worry about it again, if it has really bothered you.

But like someone else has said... People pay for gardeners, and you've got one doing it for free!!

StuntGirl · 10/07/2013 22:00

Everything Turniptwirl said Grin

EndoplasmicReticulum · 10/07/2013 22:01

My mum does this. I call it "the gardening fairies" as she waits until we are out, and then weeds the borders, trims the edges etc.

I don't mind in the least. I'm busy, she's not so much. She likes gardening, I don't. I consider it a swap for all the "looking stuff up on the internet" I do for her, as she doesn't own a computer.

CatelynStark · 10/07/2013 22:02

My next door neighbour often cuts my hedge and mows my lawn if he's doing his. I think it's bloody wonderful and tell him how grateful I am and remind him I have a back garden too :)

But then, I really, really hate gardening.

HumphreyCobbler · 10/07/2013 22:03

I would not be happy at all.

What you do to your garden is your business. They asked, you said no. That should be the end of it.

I am really surprised at the response so far on this thread. To me it would be like someone tidying up my kitchen without asking. I would feel judged and intruded upon.