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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to push this performance parent off the train?

121 replies

K8Middleton · 09/07/2013 13:39

I'm on the London to Brighton train. There is a man with a four year old boy loudly performance parenting. The kid wants to just look out the window but every time he just sits quietly performance dad starts with Tim [not his real name], can you see the children? Tim, let's count to 40! Tiiiiiiim, where is the window? Is it on the left or right? Tiiiiiiiiim, when you go to school what month with it be?

AIBU to shove him out the window?

OP posts:
Original poster
K8Middleton · 09/07/2013 15:16

Yea sadly I am married to said Performance Parent. I may ltb but we'll see if he redeems himself at the seaside.

OP posts:
LaGuardia · 09/07/2013 15:18

At no point has the OP stated that the child of the PP has autism. Why oh why do MN threads always descend into a SEN bunfight?

Original poster
K8Middleton · 09/07/2013 15:20

Dh has no sen either btw. He is just a bit enthusiastic.

OP posts:
theodorakisses · 09/07/2013 15:21

YANBU. Do it, husband or not.

Emilythornesbff · 09/07/2013 15:21

Wtf is "performance parenting" and why do so many ppl give a shit about being able to overhear a person talking to their child?
YAbu
Chill out

theodorakisses · 09/07/2013 15:22

Emily, they are not talking to their child, they are talking to the rest of the train.

humdumaggapang · 09/07/2013 15:23

Better a PP than a disinterested fuckwit.

towerofjelly · 09/07/2013 15:26

Bless him but yes married to him or not push him off ( maybe wait until the trains slows a tad he is family after all)

stealthsquiggle · 09/07/2013 15:26

Well you can't shove him out of the window now, or sleeping infant will go too.

Is "Tim" breathing a sigh of relief?

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/07/2013 15:27

Love it.

KirjavaTheCat · 09/07/2013 15:27

Yanbu! Show him this thread, so he gets an idea of what the world really thinks about performance parenting Grin

OR start being a performance wife.

Darling, when is our anniversary? That's right, aren't you clever?! It's the 23rd, that's correct darling! Darling what do we do when we visit the toilet, that's right, we lift the lid, don't we darling? It's polite to lift the lid isn't it darling.

Emilythornesbff · 09/07/2013 15:28

Meh.
Don't care.
Good for him.
Most ppl are different with kids than with adults.

Or should he just be reading the times and sharing the crossword with him?

Emilythornesbff · 09/07/2013 15:29

Oh I see.
[slaps own forehead]

I think lots off ppl are like that.
Don't feel embarrassed. It wouldn't bother me.

exoticfruits · 09/07/2013 15:33

I never understand why people can't tell the difference between engaging your child in conversation and performance parenting.

I would like to know from OP whether Tim responded to any of it?

SingingSilver · 09/07/2013 15:59

Ha! Good one! Grin

YouTheCat · 09/07/2013 16:06

Excellent OP.

Glad you got the silly sod to shush and 'Tim' got some peace to look out of the window. Grin

Wildfig · 09/07/2013 17:39

Where is your recorder? Now would be a good moment for a little light Greensleeves.

BratinghamPalace · 09/07/2013 17:47

I saw a woman do that once, non stop chatter to the child. Drove me mad, everyone else mad and so on. A few months later, much to my dread there she was at a party. Turns out she had adopted the little girl from Eastern Europe. The child had no linguistic skills and the docs did not know if there was permanent damage due to diet, emotionally restricted first 18 months ect. So she was told to chat non stop, engage her non stop ect. She did and the little girl is a fab 6 years old who talks up a storm!

JollyShortGiant · 09/07/2013 17:55

Hahahhaha! Genius OP!

ThreeBeeOneGee · 09/07/2013 17:57

Please do what Kirjava suggested! Smile

Original poster
K8Middleton · 09/07/2013 18:40

We are now on the way back. Dh/PP started with the "Tiiiiiiiiim" stuff, then checked himself, realised Tim was sitting nicely and quietly and said "Actually, he's fine isn't he?".

Phew. I was beginning to think I may never be able to go out en famille again.

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 09/07/2013 18:44

Let the poor little bleeder look out the window in peace

If he then initiates a conversation, respond accordingly.

BeaLola · 09/07/2013 18:57

I had a PP at a wedding the other week that I went to on my own (DH at another family thing with DS) .

PP to child: How many dinosaurs can we count Ben?
Ben: no answer, then "12"
PP: tell the nice lady (apparently that was me !) how many dinosaurs you can count .
Ben: 12
PP: tell the nice lady the names of the dinosaurs
Ben: went through list from TRex onwards - I'm slightly ashamed to say I wasn't really listening a 100% so no idea if he made it to 12 types
PP to nice lady: isn't he clever ? before I can even utter "umm" he then says "Ben why don't you tell the nice lady all the French words you know .

Nice Lady: Ben do you know the word for wine ? Can you pass that lovely bottle now please, Merci !

Emilythornesbff · 09/07/2013 19:50

Ok. I concede that getting dc to perform at any and every opportunity isn't great.
And it's nice to look out the window in peace.

exoticfruits · 09/07/2013 20:48

Children are people. If you hate being addressed as if you are a public meeting then you can bet they do too.