Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

aibu to not want to sit in a tent to bf my baby at kiddicare?

125 replies

inneedofsomehelpplz · 07/07/2013 10:50

went to kiddicare with my dh & dc & had lunch whilst we were there, baby woke up so i bf her in the main restaraunt area and male member of staff came over to tell me that bfing tent was open & could i feed in there? this meant leaving my lunch & my family for 30 mins so i refused. i am very descret & habe nothing on show. aibu?

OP posts:

IvanaCake · 07/07/2013 10:54

No Yanbu at all!! Well done for refusing.

Pimpf · 07/07/2013 10:56

Am amazed that this was in kiddicare.

Yanbu and I would have complained.

I know there are some mother who do feel uncomfortable bf in public, so I like that they do provide a tent for that reason, but to ask you to move there, disgusting

TheDeadlyDonkey · 07/07/2013 10:58

YANBU

I would probably send a letter to head office suggesting that at the store you went to, the staff need training wrt breastfeeding.
The law states that you can feed your baby wherever you want.

Lj8893 · 07/07/2013 11:00

That is awful!!! Yes i agree that you should write a letter of complaint to head office.

Abra1d · 07/07/2013 11:01

Dreadful.

CloudsAndTrees · 07/07/2013 11:04

It depends how it was worded. If you were told you had to feed in the tent, then YANBU.

If you were offered the use of the tent by someone who thought you might appreciate it, then I don't see the problem.

What was the response when you said no?

kali110 · 07/07/2013 11:04

So the employee gets in trouble?it doesn't sound like he was rude by what you've said. He had been rude and asked you to move but it sounds like he didn't, just was telling you? Maybe he thought he was doing you a favour incase you had wanted to go in there

KobayashiMaru · 07/07/2013 11:05

Why complain? They were offering you a service, not ordering you to cover your shame.

pigletmania · 07/07/2013 11:06

I agree with clouds, it depends ho it was worded. If he said that you had to use the tent than yanbu. It does not sound like you had to use it as you carried on bf and he made no further comment

KirjavaTheCat · 07/07/2013 11:07

They'll just say they were offering in case you weren't aware that somewhere private was available for breastfeeding, for your 'comfort'.

I had a similar experience in a Tesco cafe and was promptly informed of a breastfeeding room they had just off the toilets. I got a bit annoyed and they apologised, saying the above. Then they left me alone.

TNETENNBA · 07/07/2013 11:08

If he was offering the tent to you as an option then there was nothing wrong with what he did at all. Some people welcome having somewhere quiet to breastfeed that's not a toilet

If he was insisting you had to breast feed in the tent and nowhere else then he was clearly being unreasonable.

I can't tell from your post if it was a case of you being easily offended or whether he was being out of order. Can you clarify?

Lj8893 · 07/07/2013 11:11

The OP said that the employee said "the bf tent was open and COULD she feed in there"

That doesn't sound an offer of service to me.

PostmanPatAlwaysRingsTwice · 07/07/2013 11:12

It was still wrong of him even if he was just offering OP the option of the tent. That sends the clear message that she is doing something that shouldn't be seen in public. Clearly she was fine bfing where she was, as she was already doing it and hadn't asked him if there was anywhere else to bf.

Elquota · 07/07/2013 11:21

YANBU. If you're having a family lunch why shouldn't you all stay together and baby have lunch with you?

Pozzled · 07/07/2013 11:27

If they were just offering the use of the bf tent, I'd expect the staff member to say something like 'if you'd like' or 'if you prefer'. It sounds like they wanted you to move, and that is illegal and discriminatory. I'd be interested to know how they reacted when you declined the offer.

maddening · 07/07/2013 11:29

If they offered it in case you weren't aware it was there and you might want to use it then yabu - it's nice that places offer alternatives for bf women.

If they tried to insist that you move there and were not welcome to bf in the restaurant then yanbu.

Elquota · 07/07/2013 11:29

I don't think they need even to "offer" the tent as an option. If someone's clearly breastfeeding happily then just leave them to it. Women can always ask if they're looking for a dedicated feeding area.

TidyDancer · 07/07/2013 11:31

I think the OP needs to give a bit more info.

I have a hunch it wasn't quite as directive as some are thinking.

catgirl1976 · 07/07/2013 11:32

Complain - that is horrendous.

Well done you for telling them where to go

maddening · 07/07/2013 11:33

But I was offered the ikea bf room - in a "if you want to there is a bf room available with comfier chairs" way - I just said I was fine as I was - I didn't feel bothered or harassed by it.

scottishmummy · 07/07/2013 11:34

I don't see what the issue,they offered a designated area not a Wendy house
By all means you can decline and remain where you were.
I wonder if you're trying to whip up an issue here,some faux indignation

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 07/07/2013 11:49

I worked in a student pub that served food in Manchester. One lady came in and would bf while hiding under a blanket in full view of everyone. No one cared or even knew that she was bf-ing they were just wondering why someone was sat under a blanket. They would look at her, elbow each other and maybe laugh about it. Then she would come to the bar to complain that people were looking at her bf-ing. It wasn't an argument you could win really. When I offered to set her up in the otherwise empty no smoking lounge with a big comfy couch, tv and me bringing her drinks with no need to be sweltering under a big blanket that offer was turned down with a "I'll feed where i want to thanks!" But then she would sit under a big blanket covering her modesty and hot baby in the smokey bar... I was baffled. I've got three that I bf too but I was perplexed by her.

TidyDancer · 07/07/2013 11:51

maddening and scottishmummy - both of you have hit on what I was thinking. I could be wrong, but I think the shop assistant was trying to help rather than judge and I wonder if the OP may have been geared up towards having a bit of a spat.

Like I said, could be wrong, but that's just the impression I got.

pigletmania · 07/07/2013 11:54

Reading op again he was asking you to go to the tent to bf, no bloody way it's illegal and I woul hv told him tat. Good on you op you go girl!

pigletmania · 07/07/2013 11:57

Yourmano that is strange of the woman and she sounds quite rude. I would have taken the offer of an empty lounge with comfy seats, with offer of drinks anytime, than sit in a smoky lounge and subject my baby to passive smoking

Flip

1 2 3 4 5