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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to not want to sit in a tent to bf my baby at kiddicare?

125 replies

inneedofsomehelpplz · 07/07/2013 10:50

went to kiddicare with my dh & dc & had lunch whilst we were there, baby woke up so i bf her in the main restaraunt area and male member of staff came over to tell me that bfing tent was open & could i feed in there? this meant leaving my lunch & my family for 30 mins so i refused. i am very descret & habe nothing on show. aibu?

OP posts:

thistlelicker · 07/07/2013 20:15

Ok let's just report the man for
Being polite! Perhaps he was asked
To inform ladies the service was available? Until the op comes
Back with correct facts and not contradictions to her own story who actually knows what was said! Crikey!

Original poster

inneedofsomehelpplz · 07/07/2013 20:49

who said i was going to the man?! not gonna report the young lad as i may have it wrong but he sure didnt seem.comfortable with me bf where i was. & no, this isnt im great im bf lol, millions of woman do it & im just one :-)

OP posts:

Original poster

inneedofsomehelpplz · 07/07/2013 20:49

*report the man?!

OP posts:

pigletmania · 07/07/2013 21:46

He sounds like an awkward teenager who needs more training. Major overreaction, he dident ask you to move, merely pointed out te facilities. Mabey he was told to by his superiors to promote store facilities.

scottishmummy · 07/07/2013 21:47

And you sound like your making stuff up to embelish your pov

sameoldIggi · 07/07/2013 21:54

Some posters are excusing him as being just a young lad, didn't know how to approach it etc. I would imagine the default position for a young man would be to go nowhere near a bfing woman, and say nothing at all - out of embarrasment if nothing else!
He is wrong if he thinks the provision of a bf tent means that is where you should go to bf. It would be worth having his employers educate him on that.

scottishmummy · 07/07/2013 22:00

This is really a non event being bigger up into something more significant
The worker merely informed op of location of facilities,no other dialogue
Bf was not undermined,and op wasn't compelled to alter her arrangements

pigletmania · 07/07/2013 23:04

Yes totally non event.

OHforDUCKScake · 07/07/2013 23:16

When I was bf my PFB in hospital the MW asked me if I wanted ger to close the curtain and started pulling them across. I was suprises and said no, wondered why she asked. In turn she was suprised I said no.

Her offer and reaction made me go from feeling comfortable and at ease with feeding my 5 hour old baby on my bed on the ward, to suddenly feeling like I was exposing myself and was doung something wrong.

Whilst the OP got the wording wrong, I actually understand her distain.

She was happily feeding. The staff pointed out a designated area for mothers who wanted it, except she didnt. It may have made her feel as though she shouldnt have been doing it where she was.

IMO it simply didnt need pointing out.

scottishmummy · 07/07/2013 23:20

How could retail worker possibly surmise and know her preferences regard bf
He simply informed her of a facility,should she wish to use it.
The worker has done nothing wrong,op has given conflicting accounts.its non event

OHforDUCKScake · 07/07/2013 23:23

He just shouldnt point it out.

However, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be agreeing with the majority had it not been for my experience with the MW. It sounds so petty now but it hugely knocked my confidence.

MrsMook · 07/07/2013 23:28

Nothing wrong in offering a service. Generally I'll feed in a cafe as I want the refreshment. I'm happy to know where feeding rooms are so that I have the option if I'm not feeling inclined to buy a drink/snack. In places like IKEA I'll pick the cafe/ feeding zone to pick my need.

In the context of a Kiddicare store, I'd assume that it's policy to inform customers about the facilities they offer. It's hardly to their advantage to alienate their main customer base.

scottishmummy · 07/07/2013 23:30

Why should the retail asst not inform of a facility?op may have had interest
The retail asst could not possibly have known this cause offence to op
It was a brief relay of information,not an undermining act.

Ham69 · 07/07/2013 23:33

I think both sameold and OHfor have hit the nail on the head. Not a 'non event' if a mum is made to feel uncomfortable when doing the most natural thing in the world. Yes, she slightly contradicted herself, but give OP a break. I'm sure we all got the gist of the story.

MrsMook · 07/07/2013 23:34

I found it awkward BFing in hospital. I didn't particularly want to be hidden behind a curtain, but felt a bit exposed with the style of my nighties, faffing with a new baby and aware of the partners of other mums being around and close by. I did feed with them open after a few feeds, but not a very comfortable environment- too many bored people sitting around!

The MW was probably suprised that someone was comfortable to have them open.

mynameismskane · 07/07/2013 23:42

Wow scottishmummy, do you have some kind of chip on your should about breast feeding?

Not sure why anyone at Kiddicare would feel the need to go over to a mum who is quietly breast feeding and point out other places to go, it's rude and unnecessary.

thistlelicker · 08/07/2013 06:50

The hospital
Where I work encourage curtains open at all times! But when It comes
To feeding ask if curtains want closing to offer privacy and dignity and respect while trying to establish breast feeding! Plus also a cultural thing! Sometimes it's dammed if u do dammed if u don't!

MalcolmTuckersMum · 08/07/2013 07:02

Really myname? Sounds to me more like scottishmummy has a chip on her shoulder about embellished bullshit. Try reading the whole thing in context.

EDMNWiganSalfordandBlackpool · 08/07/2013 07:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ham69 · 08/07/2013 07:50

Yes, malcolm, I thought the same as myname. Have you read all of scottishmummy's posts?

Twattybollocks · 08/07/2013 08:26

No, yanbu. I fed dd sat in the garden furniture display at Asda the other day right by the front doors. No one commented or batted an eyelid.

Figgygal · 08/07/2013 08:38

Sounds like he was offering a service stop being so indignant

If that had been me who hated BFing in public I would have been quite happy being approached and told there were other options available.

cory · 08/07/2013 08:38

If the word order in the OP is accurate, then it was not a suggestion but a request.

"bfing tent was open & I could feed in there?" - suggestion

"bfing tent was open & could I feed in there?"- direct request

If I say to my teen "You could take the bus home", it is a helpful suggestion (to save you from walking) or at best a very discreet and indirect request, leaving the choice to her.

"Could you take the bus home?" is a direct request which demands an answer and presupposes that the answer will be "yes".

Simple question of grammar.

KenAdams · 08/07/2013 09:05

Pop a link to this thread on their Facebook page.

SoupDragon · 08/07/2013 09:09

According to the Op, later, his words were "there is a bf tent next to you for bfing"

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