Who wins at Facebook? What your Facebook activity says about you
You post about everything, all the time - itching for a like or comment, sometimes even nervous if you have been outspoken or controversial. You are an idiot, get a life. Ironically when you have got a life and don't need to seek constant validation through Facebook, other people may actually want to hear about it.
You post carefully-edited personal statuses, photos and interesting (in your opinion) observations everyday or every other day. You seek too much approval and attention, grow up.
You post about what negative emotion you're experiencing or a vague status inviting questions and interest. And then sometimes even answer the queries in the comments with 'cant talk about it on here, call me'. You are a d@&£ head and your friends probably find you very draining and would like to unfriend you (horror of all horrors, your numbers may go down!) unless they are all drama hunters too. Seriously, GROW UP!
You post about negative stuff that is happening to you AND NOTHING THE F£)@ ELSE. You are a whinge bag and nobody wants to hear it, grow up AND get a journal, with a lock on it, so nobody accidentally finds it and feels obliged to read it.
You post vague but obviously bitchy statuses or comments, waiting for a reaction, from who it was aimed at or anybody else, somebody please pay me some attention!!!! Grow up, you are an idiot onFacebook, and probably in real life too. That can only serve you for so long.
You like pages that are apparently about British pride, normally with a military slant or national symbol as the profile pic (because that's what we British do best, war!) On the whole they are not about being proud of Britain. You are an idiot, grow up and open your eyes and mind.
All of your posts involve booze, toilets or fraping. You are in your teens/twenties or are an idiot, possibly both. If you are in your tweens/twenties, enjoy. If you are an idiot, enjoy ;)
You share statuses that include any of the following words - luck, lucky, curse, fairy, witch, spell, Muslim, Islam etc etc. You are an idiot, grow up, get yourself educated and give your parents a slap from me.
You go on Facebook regularly but never so much as like or comment on other people's posts. You are a cyber stalker/wimp. Grow some balls, cut some holes in a newspaper and go out and stalk in the real world.
You share funny, interesting or inspiring posts but rarely your own, preferring to like or comment positively on other people's. You probably have a vague, positive impact on the world via Facebook and like to keep your private life, on the whole, private. (And you may be a little bit secretive/prone to cyber stalking.) THANK YOU! You're all grown up! (Also see notes from previous point re stalking.)
You post about intimate details of your relationship, valentines date or communicate with your other half through facebook posts. You are both cringe-inducing saps and probably need to work on your relationship, IN PRIVATE PURLEASE. Grow up together.
You have a facebook account but rarely use it, sometimes maybe to find an old friend or say something nice. WELL DONE! You didn't get sucked in like the rest of us and can hold your head up high, knowing that you have more self respect and dignity, and probably a much more fulfilling life, than 99% of the other however many millions of people on Facebook. And even better, you don't have to wade through the tsunami of s£&@ that these other Facebookers post on a daily basis like their life depends on it. You will of course probably never see this article, and if you did you probably couldn't be arsed to read it all the way down to here anyway because you have better things to do. CONGRATULATIONS!! You win at Facebook. Grow babies :)