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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised at how oblivious some people are to people patiently waiting

67 replies

Arabesque · 03/07/2013 17:19

As someone who always feels a bit self concious if I think I'm holding up a queue or somesuch I'm always amazed at how some people will wait until all their groceries have been scanned through before starting to pack them; will get on a bus and then calmly root through their bag and pockets for change or their travel card; will spend ages at the ATM putting in one card after another, scrutinising receipts etc while loads of people wait behind them.
AIBU to wonder how these people aren't sometimes mortified at the delays they're causing, the people looking at them and mentally throwing their eyes up to heaven etc?

OP posts:
rainbowfeet · 03/07/2013 17:25

Yes, those type of people irritate me too!! But then I'm always in a hurry & very inpatient by nature!! Hmm

MadeOfStarDust · 03/07/2013 17:39

Some of us are just away with the fairies sometimes - lost in thought - or at an ATM actually planning to check statements on 2 cards or buy a phone top up - why are my transactions any less important than someone else's.... are you suggesting I put one card in and check my balance - then go to the end of the queue, then get some money and go to the end , then get a statement and go to the end and finally get a phone top up....

Some of us are just not in a hurry and plan our ATM use for when we actually have more than one thing to do... I'm not mortified - if you don't have the time, don't join the line...

Original poster
Arabesque · 03/07/2013 17:44

Well maybe you're not in a hurry but the other people waiting might be. Why store up a load of jobs and then hog the machine for fifteen minutes? Just do things as they arise or keep an eye on the queue behind you and if it's building up have a bit of consideration and realise you've kept people waiting for long enough.

OP posts:
Vintageclock · 03/07/2013 17:51

Wow Stardust you sound very inconsiderate. 'Some of us are just not in a hurry'. So that entitles you to hold other people up? Really?

And I agree, it is very irritating if you're in a rush, need to get a few quid from the ATM, see there's only two people in front of you .... and ten minutes later you and the other person are still waiting while the person at the machine pulls yet another card out of his wallet for yet another transaction. If I wanted to do several different things I would only do it if there was nobody behind me. If someone had been waiting there for ages I would just leave it and go to another machine.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 03/07/2013 17:53

is your time more precious that theirs? a service is being offered, people use that services or services it takes as long as it takes. yanbu to the ditherers who don't get a card / bus fare ready but yabu to people using a service for whatever purpose it provides which may or may not be the same as you use it for or as quick... suck it up. I would hate my elderly Mum to feel pressured to rush and make an error or not put her money away promptly or forget her receipt just because some impatient person was in a queue. we should all slow down a bit and let others get on with what they need. She is a bit slow and when I have been out with her I have seen (and confronted sometimes) people do an eye roll cos they had to wait... oooh 30 more seconds to squeeze past her in an aisle. tolerance folk.

Vintageclock · 03/07/2013 17:55

That is not what the OP was talking about thoug Step. She was talking about people who store up several jobs and then spend ages and ages at the ATM, putting in one card and then another and then another. It is irritating.

doingthesplitz · 03/07/2013 18:03

YANBU. Really annoying when someone needlessly holds up a queue because they can't be arsed to hurry themselves, have their card ready or whatever.

I also hate it if someone at the ATM is doing a load of stored up business while everyone else stands there and waits. I know they're perfectly entitled to use the ATM in this way, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.

Scottishtanguera · 03/07/2013 18:06

I'm totally with the OP on this one. Whilst I would hate anyone to feel pressured or rushed, especially the elderly or those with small dc who are clearly harassed enough, the self- absorbed ones taking absolutely fucking ages to faff about whilst oblivious to the building queue behind them are simply inconsiderate.

Mintberry · 03/07/2013 18:13

Well, Stardust, I am one of the worst for ending up 'away with the fairies', but I am always apologetic if I end up inconveniencing people around me- because it's not an excuse, just pointless time wasting. Of course you can get all the business you need to get done at the ATM, but just not needlessly wasting time! People have their own lives to lead and they shouldn't have to pamper to a stranger's daydreaming.

Oldraver · 03/07/2013 18:15

Some people are just in their own bubble. In B+Q today at a checkout and the bloke in front of me just started to walk backwards with his trolley, luckily I was a way back from him but still had to step to oneside so he didnt stand on my foot.

He then turned round and started wittering on about something and was surprised when I said he maybe needed to look before backing up..I mean what did he think would happen just randomly trying to sneak to another till going backwards

RobotBananas · 03/07/2013 18:19

I scan things through on the self check out before I start packing them, but only because that's the fastest way for me to do it (and the machine doesbt throw a fit because I'm trying to use a bag for life)
I hate holding people up and really try and avoid it.

People being a bit slow doesn't really annoy me though,but the ones who stop and chat and take all fucking day make mad.

YouTheCat · 03/07/2013 18:24

People at buses who stand waiting and then rummage about once the bus gets to the stop really really irritate me.

I have my fare/pass ready in a pocket or in my hand (if I'm not carrying too much other stuff). It is hardly rocket science.

Justforlaughs · 03/07/2013 18:52

I think the OP is being totally unreasonable about this. Have you just moved to the UK OP? I don't understand how you can be surprised by this, even if it justifiably annoys you. Grin It happens ALL the time. I think the worst offenders are those in a supermarket queue who wait their turn and put all their shopping through, pack it, go to pay and THEN and ONLY THEN decide to check whether they have bought anything at all that is featured on their 6 million pages of vouchers that the supermarket sent them last week!!! Angry Why on earth didn't they use the time in the queue to take a look?

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 03/07/2013 19:35

But if you don't live near town then sometimes you need to do more than one transaction, what does it really matter, treat it as if there were several more in the queue you would still have to wait. they are just as entitled to use the many facilities as you would be. I suppose though it would be better for people needing more to go inside to the desk but then the poeple queuing there would moan too. can't win!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 03/07/2013 19:41

just wish people were not always in such a hurry and were more tolerant of others. life is short enough without stressing about 10 mins waiting for someone to do what they are entitled to do because they do it slower than you would, sigh.

Hullygully · 03/07/2013 19:45

Oh god yes

I stood behind a woman today in a supermarket queue who had all her items checked through, then spent ages slowly sorting them into different bags, changing her mind, moving them around, then looked for her handbag and started counting out change...

While it is legal to behave like that, if I'd had a gun I'd have shot her

Hullygully · 03/07/2013 19:45

Eccles, some people are slower than others, some just don't give a flying fuck about them

MammaTJ · 03/07/2013 19:46

I come across as the most helpful and inderstanding person in the world with stupid people at cash points. The truth is, I want to get them out of the way as quickly as possible, so I can go about MY business and get on my way. I offer to help those struggling. It works well IMO! Everyone is happy.

This doesn't work at tills or on buses though. The MN app on my iPhone is good for that. I can't stand doing nothing, waiting for other people, so I have a look and see what everyone on here is talking about! Grin

Elquota · 03/07/2013 19:46

A lot of people are just impatient and "in a hurry" all the time when they actually just have the same amount to do as everyone else.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 03/07/2013 19:47

People that get on the bus then decide to faff around finding all their loose change annoy the hell out of me.

scottishmummy · 03/07/2013 19:50

It's so rude and ditzy.waiting til prompted to locate cash etc.as if payment is unexpected result
Like the horrors who arrange their voluminous purses and bag before moving aside
Shift it,and let in other folk who can coordinate self to be in state of readiness for payment

Mindyourownbusiness · 03/07/2013 19:57

Grin @ Hully .

I was in Asda other day and the woman in front was slowly packing her stuff into bags and the young male cashier said to her 'that'll be £46.99 (or whatever) please'.
Absolutely totally blanked him until she had put every last blasted item in its neat little fucking compartment in her various bags, which took a good few minutes..
She then looked up and said 'Now, how much did you say?'
I was so tempted to say 'So you did fucking hear him then, you rude cow'
It suits me shopping at Asbo Blush

scottishmummy · 03/07/2013 20:02

Actually no Eccles.no one has an entitlement as you call it to fanny aboot
You may have complete disregard for your own time,and 10minute to fanny about
I don't want to wait on someone who believes themselves entitled to faff.and every fibre of my body language,from hard stare,to tutting will make it clear.

carlywurly · 03/07/2013 20:16

Yanbu, and one of my absolute pet hates is people who suddenly stop dead, or worse, walk backwards in busy places. You can absolutely guarantee they will hit me. It happens surprisingly regularly.

Elquota · 03/07/2013 20:40

If I tried to get money out of my purse before getting on the bus, I'd be guaranteed to drop it, the coins would roll away, and then the money and I would get trampled on by an angry mob as I scrabbled around trying to find it!

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