To be surprised at how oblivious some people are to people patiently waiting

[Arabesque]

As someone who always feels a bit self concious if I think I'm holding up a queue or somesuch I'm always amazed at how some people will wait until all their groceries have been scanned through before starting to pack them; will get on a bus and then calmly root through their bag and pockets for change or their travel card; will spend ages at the ATM putting in one card after another, scrutinising receipts etc while loads of people wait behind them.
AIBU to wonder how these people aren't sometimes mortified at the delays they're causing, the people looking at them and mentally throwing their eyes up to heaven etc?

but some people don't see it as fannying about, yes the obvious pisstakers deserve some scorn, But honestly are we all so time precious that we can't spare a little compassion for those who are not as rushed or are slow for whatever reason? seriously has society degenerated so much that we hate people for holding us up for 10 mins? I honestly can't see much in life that deserves the anger that people project on others for wanting to go about their business in a slightly different (or slower) way than them, buggering hell if all these folks would only RUSH through life like you then we would get where we need to be ooh a whole 5 mins early, or if we planned our lives well we would allow for 'hold up's' on the way to allow for theirs not being so precious. so many accidents occur for reasons like this , where is our tolerance for others these days?

But it's not rushing to get your money ready for the bus while you're waiting or to get your bank card and your tesco club card or whatever out of your purse ewhile you're waiting for your shopping to get scanned it is being prepared.

So op yanbu! I also cannot stand it! People who look surprised when asked pay! Grrrrrrr (people who obviously can't help being slow like the elderly are exempt from my rage)

Accidents?oh really a slipped disc fiddling in voluminous bag.v common
If the person is fannying bout yes it is an annoying ESP for no good reason
Naturally I'll read context,if its older adult or distracted parent thats different to ditzy disganised

I'd like to be behind scottishmummy in the queue when she's giving some drippy daydreamer the hard stare.

YANBU. General faffing, my mum and Nan are massive faffers, drives me to rage.

Yanbu; it's one of my pet annoyances when people walk right up to the barriers at the train station, stop dead in front of the barrier, and then start rummaging around in bags and pockets for their ticket. Surely at the point you realise your ticket is going to be required, you should step to the side/back away from the barriers while you find it, so others who have their ticket ready can go through?

And people who march along the street and pay no attention to anyone coming the other way...and don't either attempt to make a move out of the way or acknowledge when someone has moved FOR THEM. (And yes -various mothers with buggies/and/plus/children on scooters round here I am looking at you).

Look,it's contextual cue,supermarket expect to pay at end transaction
Not a surprised squeak and then search for purse,whilst keeping folk waiting
Actually if you're nipping out,10min is third of allocated lunch.wasted stuck behind faffer

Agree. Eccles, I always think it's more entitled to keep people waiting... After all, if the person at the front of a 5 person queue faffs unnecessarily for 5 minutes, they're really wasting 25 minutes of other people's time.

Yanbu, those who use petrol stations to fill up then do their shopping drive me nuts! Sitting waiting for ages like I have nothing better to do, my time is equally as important!

Thanks for the replies. Just to make it very clear, I was not talking about elderly people and cannot abide people who huff around them impatiently or drive up their arses because they're not going fast enough.
I'm talking about the attitude that one or two posters have on here of: "Oh, I'm just a bit ditzy and isn't life lovely and I'm not in a hurry at all and I can't understand all these silly busy people always in a rush. Oh it's lovely to be me".

Yes, you may have strolled vaguely down to the supermarket in the middle of a lovely lazy free day, but the person in the queue behind you might be on their lunch hour from work, or have to collect a child from school in ten minutes or catch a bus.

By the way step there's a difference between expecting people to 'rush' and expecting people to just show a bit of consideration and not cause unnecessary delays because they just can't be bothered to do something small like make sure they have their travel card in their hand when they're getting on a bus. That's hardly creating a pressurised society where people have no time to acknowledge each other or be nice. In fact quite the opposite.

Arabesque, I couldn't agree more. No way would I ever be narked at an old person or someone who seems to need that small amount of extra time to get sorted. The worst offenders up this way with regard to bus fare/passes are the students.

People at petrol stations who go pay then come back and spend 10 minutes faffing abut in their car, putting on make up, giving their hair a brush, rearranging stuff inside the car, before finally pulling away drive me to rage.

I once read about a study done that showed that people took significantly longer on pay phones if they were aware someone was waiting.

How intolerant and rushed we all are

And if I was deemed to be going too slowly by someone else and was being stared or tutted at, then I would simply go slower.

Kate interesting , maybe sometimes a PA thing , sometimes even a subconscious one.
On a similar vein , I cant do anything as well or as efficiently if I am aware someone is watching/waiting behind me.
For example, I am brilliant at reverse parking and get in first time , every time even into a space only a foot or so longer than my car. It was in fact one of the first reasons DH noticed me before we met as he was stalking watching me from his lounge window one day and was thinking 'they'll never get that car into there' and then when l got out he was even more impressed as it was a woman the sexist pig .

But put a queue of people behind me or someone trying to guide me in (l hate that) and my five year old grandson could do better.

I think you're the one who sounds quite intolderant nokidshere. I can understand refusing to let someone unfairly harrass you eg tailgating and trying to force you to go over the speed limit. But deliberately faffing around in a supermarket queue or when paying on the bus is unfair to all of the people you're unnecessarily holding up.

I lose my parallel parking mojo when someone is waiting, too!

Someone else going "too slowly" is purely subjective though arabesque. I am sure that many of the people don't even realise that they are doing it if that's their nature.

And I never faff about for the record ;)

YANBU. I'm hyper conscious of people waiting behind me. I will always move out of the way to finish packing to allow the next person to be served. To be unaware other people are waiting behind you is just bad manners. All this 'away with the fairies' is bollocks.

It's just annoying but a fact of life. there was one person at the till in WHSmiths and me waiting. They were only buying a paper. yay! But then the dreaded lottery tickets came out, putting lines on, collecting winnings, and buying scratch cards. Took ages while enveloped were opened and notes written on them.

It's £1 an hour to park in our town too.

I made my fortnightly trip to town today and used the ATM at my local bank.... someone lined up behind me - I told them I would be some time, but they said OK and stayed there -they could have moved to the next ATM where there was also one person.

I got a mini statement to check that a cheque had gone in, I got some money out - with a receipt, and I topped up my phone...

I still got "tutted".... and I wondered if it was a mumsnetter!

I also got tutted on the bus - the bus into town had had no change so gave me a "no change" voucher instead. The driver of the bus home hadn't seen one before so had to check before using it to pay for my ticket - I got tutted.... DESPITE the fact that the bus was going to be sat there for another five minutes...

some folks are intolerant.....

Yes, of course some people are intolerant eg people who tut at old people or people who are going at a normal pace. But some people are also bloody inconsiderate; holding up queues unnecessarily because they've been standing staring into space instead of packing their groceries or can't be bothered to root for their ticket or loose change before the bus arrives. And likewise, at least you had the manners to let the person behind you knowt hat you'd be some time so she could choose to queue at an alternate ATM, but an awful lot of people don't do that or will leave one person standing behind them for ages instead of saying 'I've a few more things to do. If you're just taking out cash do you want to go ahead'.

Someone else going "too slowly" is purely subjective

Yes, but someone causing unnecessary delays and not bothering to be aware of people behind them isn't. There was a woman taking ages and ages to pack her stuff at the checkout the other day. The cashier started checking my groceries through so I had to move forward to pack them and the other customer got annoyed because I nearly stood on one of her grocery bags which she had left down on the floor for people to trip over while she spent ages (having already delayd) putting stuff back in her handbag. People like that, who are just oblivious to everyone else and indignant when everyone doesn't work around them are seriously annoying.

I'm sorry but I don't get the worry about getting on a bus behind a slow person. I usually do have my travelcard at the ready but these are the reasons I don't mind waiting.

The bus is not going to leave without me.

I am still in the correct queue order so no difference for getting a seat.

I've run for the bus and jumped on at the last moment therefore not had my travel card immediately to hand so I've occasionally been guilty myself. ( though most buses start on their way while you are riffling for the travel card rather than waiting if you are the last on)

The bus timetable is completely unaffected. Traffic and the sheer number of passengers getting on and off is far more important to the time I arrive. Therefore this person is not meaningfully delaying me.

I used to feel impatient but once I realised it made no difference to my timeliness I relaxed. Working myself up over how miserable it is to wait only puts me in a bad mood. I recognise that it is sometimes impossible to get an earlier bus to ensure I'm on time but super efficient people in the queue in front of me will actually not make any difference to whether I'm late or not so why make myself late and grouchy.

Oops sorry that's so long but frankly we've all had bad days and probably all annoyed someone in the queue behind us. So we should cut each other some slack.