To be surprised at how oblivious some people are to people patiently waiting

[Arabesque]

As someone who always feels a bit self concious if I think I'm holding up a queue or somesuch I'm always amazed at how some people will wait until all their groceries have been scanned through before starting to pack them; will get on a bus and then calmly root through their bag and pockets for change or their travel card; will spend ages at the ATM putting in one card after another, scrutinising receipts etc while loads of people wait behind them.
AIBU to wonder how these people aren't sometimes mortified at the delays they're causing, the people looking at them and mentally throwing their eyes up to heaven etc?

I think everyone forgot to take a chill pill this morning. nokids I agree re. the incredible lack of tolerance on this thread. Some people are just slow and faffy. My DF was incredibly doddery and slow and I used to see people raging, or hear them tutting and it made me so MAD. Sometimes (if I'm in a huge hurry) I get stuck behind someone faffing and I have to take a deep breath, remember that they are not doing it on purpose, and try to maintain normal blood pressure.

On the other hand, if someone were doing it on purpose (but who would?) then that probably would make me rage.

But it's not about being behind someone in the bus queue who's rooting for cards and money. It's about sitting on a bus trying to get somewhere on time eg work and people at regular intervals along the way holding up the bus by several minutes while they faff around. It adds up to a lot of minutes on each journey and, for people who regularly rely on buses to get places, can be very frustrating.

Reminds me a bit of Parents Evening. It appears the 5 minute slot is just for me and DH.

I once missed my bus connection because of someone in front faffing. Even the bus driver eventually pointed out the queue behind her. I had to wait an hour for the next bus.

So yes it can matter. There is no reason if you've been waiting at a bus stop why you can't have the money/ card ready.

It's about perspective isn't it? I once had about 14 parcels to post at Christmas. I went to the PO at a time when I thought it was going to be quiet as I didn't want to take the piss. I did feel sorry for taking up so much time, but I didn't want to feel rushed and pressured and cock it all up and nor did I want to go to the bloody PO 5 times in the week to do it in smaller batches.

Other times I've been in the PO queue behind someone with 6 different things to do and I've wanted to stab them in the back with a pen. That's when you have to take deep breaths and think that 20 minutes in the whole scheme of things is NOT going to ruin your life.

And relax.

OK I agree missing a bus because some numpty hasn't got their card/money ready is rage inducing. Not having your money at the checkout is not really likely to cause a major headache for anyone though is it? You're talking a 2 minute wait, maximum.

Personally I think if getting stuck behind some airy fairy twat who can't manage to sort their own shopping bags out in under 5 minutes is going to make you late for your bus, or mean you take over an hour for lunch, then you haven't got being busy down to a very fine art.

It's infuriating because it's uncontrollable - I always notice that it's not when I'm busy that I get angry at others dawdling, it's when I've not given myself enough time. I can have a monstrous amount to do, but if I give myself an extra 15, 30, whatever minutes than I thought I needed
then it keeps the dawdler-stress at bay.

Re the bus thing though, just say to the person "do you mind if I pay while you're getting your change?". In fact, just say to any of them "are you alright? You're going very slowly and there's a big queue. Do you need any help?" Even if they don't need help it should wake their dozy arses up a bit.

Well, if no one bothered to have their money ready or pack their groceries before paying that could add up to very lengthy queues. It's really about doing your bit to keep the queue moving; if everyone does that it saves a lot of time overall and means people in a rush are less likely to start unfairly tutting because an elderly person is understandably slower that other people.

I don't think anyone on here is suggesting that we should all be trampling over each other to get on the bus, or racing up escalators two steps at a time banging into people as we go, or blowing our car horns furiously if someone delays by a second when the lights turn green. But going to the other extreme and operating in a bubble, unaware that there are people waiting behind you causes unnecessary inconvenience to others.

YANBU. I was watching one of those real action police programs on the telly and it showed a giant tailback of traffic somewhere on the Isle of Wight, and a policeman going to investigate. At the front of the huge huge jam was a real old chap in a mint Austin, saying "yes but I never go over 40."
I wanted to write to the producers, get his address and go and slash his tyres.

I hate slow walking people who walk in the middle on the path!!

I live in a v busy area of London. On a typical evening I just want to get home from work to my family. However I end up stuck behind tourists dawdling, random people strolling along on phone zig zagging along the path! I can't pass in road v often as motorbikes/ cars flying past, and the other side restaurants etc... So I walk along trying to squeeze past left side, then right when they dawdle left, then say excuse me for the 1000 time...

Did I tell you I hate slow zig zaging walkers?

Debsndan just having read that I want to do that too

I was once behind an older lady who was trying to get me to eye roll and tut at the non-ditherer in front who was trying to sort out her paper-bill at the newsagents and understandably it was taking a bit more time than buying a packet of mints.

When she had finished being served she rounded on the lady and told her right off because she "had all the time in the world to do things and I am trying to get this done in my lunch break you rude woman!" I was and

you may have strolled vaguely down to the supermarket in the middle of a lovely lazy free day, but the person in the queue behind you might be on their lunch hour from work, or have to collect a child from school in ten minutes or catch a bus.

That's just making assumptions though. There are also people who are on their lunch hour from work/collecting child from school/catching a bus who are just as busy as anyone else, yet who manage to be calm, polite and patient.

I think a lot of this is people being competitively busy. There's a cultural expectation to be "busy busy busy" and in a hurry, as it shows your time is supposedly more important than other people's.

If you're not a Londoner, then going to London can seem like everything's accelerated. People are all walking strangely fast and want to speed along the pavement and for you to Get Out Of Their Way. Yet in many other other towns/cities/villages, this isn't deemed necessary, and somehow everyone still gets just as much done and are more chilled into the bargain

Slightly different, but this infuriates me. I commute from a (very busy) station and I'm sometimes in a rush or at the very least, impatient to get home at the end of the day.

My station has a designated "down to platform only" set of stairs at the platform and there's always a queue to go up the exit stairs in rush hour, but so many people seem to think it's above them to wait with the rest of us and choose to go up the single-width (only separated by a bannister) steps for the people trying to get down to the platform and I've seen people miss trains because of these inconsiderate - er - folk.

I always glare, accidentally did it to a client once who hasn't done it since, for the record, but where is the common courtesy? Why are they too good to wait too?

Yes Surbiton for anyone who recognises it. And I've been in the area all my life.

Elquota - I think londoners generally do have less time. The average working day is 8 hrs out of London (ie 9-5), with lunch break. Whereas the average in London is 11 hrs, with a lunch break hit and miss. So the lack of 3/4 hours a day to stroll means most do need to speed around more

That's just making assumptions though. There are also people who are on their lunch hour from work/collecting child from school/catching a bus who are just as busy as anyone else, yet who manage to be calm, polite and patient.[Quote]

Why should someone constantly dawdle along on the assumption that busy people should just be 'polite, calm and patient'. Maybe the ditherers should try and be 'polite, considerate and aware of others'.

Also, as I said upthread, we're not saying everyone should be rushing around at full tilt all of the time being busy and important. Just that neither should people be dawdling around all of the time ignoring the fact that people are waiting behind them who might not have as much time to spare.