To say Quick! Before the IPOAT ice house begins to thaw and HRH's head melts unwontedly?

[Hullygully]

Hello all!

what is not to love about crepescular dining to the light of a firework stuffed up David Cameron's arse?

Hm? Hm?

Hello dear Miss Fliffy!

I am a little confused as to the plan

if only Mistress Umami were at hand, she was so good at the organisational side of things.

yy to crepuscual dining, but must we say arse?

Can we not say rear nethers and protect our ladyminds?

What say we attach them face to face on the ducking stool, firmly tied in DNA tatting, insert phosphorus fireworks into their de-breeched nether regions, and duck them at sunset while we enjoy a Mojito Tisane?

splendid!

We can get the gals to don their most fetching yet maidenly outfits and send them hence to invite them for a sunset posset.

this one looks alluringly wenchy perhaps the offer of a kitchen supper would do the trick?

Oh, and she has her own transportation also!

really? do tell!

I thought she had horses coming our of her...nether regions...

mayhap she borrowed one from our sovereign Lord? Many of his gentle cavaliers have outworn their steeds in manly battle...

arf girlish giggle at ladyminds

But at erm, erm, nethers

Do you know the ha ha's flooded?

The groundskeepers terribly cross, he can't get to oak tree to get the goats out.

You can dry your petticoats in the shed, Honey. There's usually a small brazier alight for brewing various tinctures and tisanes.

Plus you'll be safe there from the cross groundsmen. They'll be grumpier once they see phosphorous Smuggers flying over the croquet lawn.

She is indeed a comely wench. Let us dispatch her to invite the deadly duo for a kitchen supper. If the steeds are discommoded, she can ride cook.

Zounds! our newly reconstituted Monarch is attempting to flee the country disguised as a maidenjuice barrel....the staff are imploring him to shed this disguise in fear of the consequences, but alas, that pesky Stuart arrogance pays no heed!

If brother Cameron spots a barrel he will round us all up for levity and sottish behaviour...and we all know what Pastor Osborne feels about how to treat people stuck in barrels....

Have we news yet of their approach? I fear our wench may have fallen foul of the necromancer who walks these dusty lanes in search of wisdom to embellish his fiendish pamphlets

maidenjuice barrel peril

Alack, alas, I fear for her loyalty...was she not once kitchenmaid to Brother Cameron?

What is wrong with that Charles?

We kindly reconstitute him and he tries to flee as a barrel!

Where is the gratitude these days? I say we truss him up with the Brothers Slime and send them all into the goat-sodden haha.

Then we can have all the rum too.

Indeed, a marvellous idea...I had forgotten I am actually a revolutionary. Burn them all!

I will not be comely for Sir Shiny! I WILL NOT!

I shall coerce him with a bolt, rather than lure him with my charms

'Tis but a cunning ruse, dear Mistress Honey, come, let me sooth away that cross little frown with some lavender water...