To say Quick! Before the IPOAT ice house begins to thaw and HRH's head melts unwontedly?

[Hullygully]

[MadameDefarge]

Oh dear, I fear I might have used the wrong body, dear Charles is now somewhat transformed

But 'twill be the ideal cover for his escape to France!

[Hullygully]

Poor Charles! I insist, Mimi, you take steps to restore his dignity at once. Could we not fuse him in some alchemic fashion with dear Mr Rochester?

[MadameDefarge]

does much remain of mr rochester? or even dear Abercrombie?

[Fiderer]

His tip looks sharp. That should help him on his voyage.

[MadameDefarge]

I shall attempt a reversal...

in the meantime, there are lobster patties and sweetmeats laid out in library.

[Fiderer]

Please ensure you have no lobster shells left over in your pockets. The reversal could be most troubling if they get involved.

[MadameDefarge]

look, what happened with the Ambassador was a one-off...

And I still think he looks better than before.

[Fiderer]

Lord that made me jump. Just think what Hully will do to you if you do the same to HRH?

[Minimammoth]

We need the skills of Igor, is he not in the catacombs or over with Entropy in the lab? I feel I over did the camphor in my latest stuffing mixture, the candlesticks have all melted, but cook reports that her tubes are quite clear.

[Hullygully]

This is all verging dangerously close to the Arts of Wicca.

I feel strongly that I shall have to unearth yon Ducking Stool.

[Fiderer]

The Arts of Wicca - do they sell thread?

I need some for the sewing circle later. Also some new shuttles, too many juniper and mushroom tisanes at the last meeting were taken and some members could not find theirs. Or the door.

[Hullygully]

I have found the Ducking Stool

I have ordered the HaHa to be flooded for our pond and we shall start ducking as required.

[Fiderer]

Be not too hasty, Mistress Hully. I am sure good work is being done here. We must move with the times and not be hidebound by those unwilling to embrace the glories of our age.

HRH being restored - why, just imagine the rapture.

Shall I fetch you a tract and a tisane?

[Hullygully]

Huh

But I WANT to do some ducking. How about if I just duck MissSybil, she is as much trouble as a bag of capybaras?

[Fiderer]

No, not MissSybil, she is but young and spirited and will learn.

There is a visitor in the village, a Sir Smug Superior Cameron. He is staying at the house of the Right Supercilious Osborne's family.

Plenty of ducking fun there. We could sell tickets.

[Minimammoth]

Oh yessss please.
Get cook to do some saleable snacks. Get the knitting out. Where is Mimi?

[MadameDefarge]

Great News! I have managed to restore dear Charles to his former self, all he needs now is for Hully to pomade his lovelocks...

He is even now building up his strength with a haunch of venison and some posset...

I fear I might not be able to knit an entire ducking stool. Maybe we could use some of the DNA tatting clogging the catacombs?

[Fiderer]

Huzzah! Whilst Hully attends to HRH we might return the ducking stool to the barn. The hens can roost in it.

What though to do with the Ambassador? A black veil and a large hat will not suffice.

[Hullygully]

I am not quite over my ducking stool needs.

Can we lure Lord Shiney Dave and Slimey Gideon to the HaHa?

[MadameDefarge]

I have a Plan.

Hully lures the duo of smuggery to the haha with tales of peasant baiting...we fashion a monstrous net of DNA tatting, much like those you see in a jungle film, and just as the two step forward in keen anticipation of pointless humiliation of the already afflicted, Hully activates the net!

We can then leave them there for some leisurely stoning by the great unwashed, or take them to the catacombs where we could try out a few little experiments I have been working on.

the mice are fine, by the way, they quite enjoy the froggy leg action. Sadly the frogs got the worst deal, mousy legs don't seem to mesh with lily pads.

Grunt the Head Gardener has promised to skim the fountain in the knot garden this afternoon.

[MadameDefarge]

ooh, or we could swing the net over the lake, and proceed with ducking?

[MadameDefarge]

They might enjoy it...entangled in Royal DNA, and the Ambassador, who has taken to holding his receptions there, is a marvellous host. Though the pots do play havoc with one's hair, I find.

[Fiderer]

I think we should let Hully duck the smuggers and after that leave them to the tender mercies of the Ambassador's pincers.

[ICBINEG]

I have produced a phosphorous loaded fyreworke for....ahem...insertion based smuggery purging... of course it is unwise to allow it near water...ahh what the hell let them burn in the lake...

[MadameDefarge]

how pretty it will be! let us launch our pleasure boats and picnic by the light this balmy evening!