To say why not use IVF to choose the sex of a baby?

[Poppycattlepetal]

If people could save up for the IVF required, just don't see who else's business is it if they have a boy or a girl baby, really?

It seems U that we are not legally allowed to try for this in Britain. Clearly, we'd not all choose boys. See this mother of five sons in the Indy today: www.independent.co.uk/news/science/ban-on-sex-selection-of-ivf-embryos-is-not-justified-says-ethicist-8683940.html

It is allowed in US to do this, and you don't hear of a population imbalance over there. Just what seems like an incannily high proportion of celebrities who have twins, one of each!

I do get the issues about things being very different in other countries where there can be a cultural pressure to have sons of course. And i'm only talking about methods used before pregnancy begins. And obviously this would have to be genuinely freely chosen. Just feel that as the majority in the UK doesn't share any particular preference, why not let the people who do really mind, have the choice?

It is quite clear on MN that people want girls. If ever a thread is about gender disappointment you know they had a boy. If ever people are bringing up a child to be gender neutral you know they had a boy.

The sharing clothes and equipment is a real red herring. You can pick up baby stuff really cheaply at car boot sales etc. By the time they get expensive they refuse to wear cast offs.
There is generally a choice of mixed sexed schools if it is important they go to the same one.

I have been out all day and I see no one has produced a list of 'I want a girl because..........' Or 'I want a boy because............
I can't say it surprises me.

I also doubt whether someone who 'buys' the gender wants them in a friend's cast offs. It isn't their image of the 'perfect' child.

Red Herring/load of bollocks. Would anyone pay 1000s for IVF in order to save a few quid by passing on clothes?

I think the vast majority would choose the opposite of what they already have

Alis - you're right, gender selection is never acceptable. I can just understand why a woman might want to select a boy if her family would give her more attention, money, acceptance if she had one.

I don't see how we are to persuaded if no one will give a list of reasons.
So far we have had the very weak 'share clothes and equipment' as if someone who can spend out on IVF can't get cheap clothes- it often doesn't work anyway if the you get child is bigger than the older (common) or the season is wrong. Since we have been told several times that the 'ideal' is one of each this doesn't make sense anyway.
If you want them to go to the same school you have to hope that it isn't selective because one might get in and the other not.there are more mixed sex comprehensives than single sex ones. Girls can go to all the Scout groups. If you have a girl who wants to go to Guide ones you can get second hand uniform cheaply.
Older siblings do not want invitations where younger siblings come too!

good "I can see its not as harmless as I first thought, although some of the arguments against it on here are pants."

I think we can shake hands on that one as I agree with both halves!

I agree with good that no one has given a list because there isn't a satisfactory one.
It won't be allowed because the only reasons are selfish ones -as in 'I want', 'I have the money', 'why can't I?' Added to gender stereotyping.

Rules and laws can be changed.
So even if it started off being used for gender balancing, that does not mean that things wouldnt change in the future.

Also, as I suspected, no one has actually posted that they would choose a boy.

I wouldn't chose....I really wouldn't. But if you stuck a gun to my head and made me, then I would chose a boy. This is because I have suffered heavy periods, anaemia, endometriosis, hyperemesis and a spectacularly horrible birth and I would choose not to be responsible for the chance of putting another human being through that shit.....

I don't think the gender balance would be a big deal. I think the gender discrimination is a huge deal.

I have 6 smart but naughty kids ( 5 boys and baby girl)

can I buy a really well behaved one to balance it all out?

grrrr, the thought of someone being able to demand and choose a boy or a girl is very disturbing.

I would like two more kids. I don't think I will. the existing ones are wonderful but tiresome.
to be perfectly honest, yes, part of me would love 2 more girls to "balance it out", but I'm not even thinking about TTC until I feel I'm ready to have another baby!

in fact I still have a few lovely boys name in store, so yeah, 2 more boys would be fine!

oh my goodness!

I think I've just realised that 2 more boys would balance things out quite well!

DD would remain the only girl, but would not be the baby of the brood as well!

hmmm

< thinking about which box contains mat clothes>

The op is mistaken to think that this method wouldnt create a gender imbalance in the UK because the pressure to have a boy isn't as strong here as in other countries. Wrong because there is a large immigrant population here and some still obsess about having a son so this would be ideal for them. There have been reports of British Indian asaian women going back to the subcontinent to have a gender selected abortion done. Mainly due to pressure from the in-laws & I know of one man who divorced three previous wives who bore him daughters until he married a woman who gave birth to a son. This gender selective IVF will play into their hands & they wont bat an eyelid about getting a loan out to pay for it.

As a woman, though, it would be nice to have more men to choose from and to have them flocking round as we'd be in great demand due to there being far less females than males.

Boys have eating issues too- it just isn't as well known about. If you Google it you find lots of stories.

Ideally babies should be conceived from an act of union between the mother and the father who love each other.

Not a medical procedure in a sterile lab.
To choose this just to get the wanted sex is quite sick really.

Absolute rubbish time.

I have Ivf babies and natural - makes diddly squat difference.

Buttercat: I have said 'ideally'.

I also said 'ideally' as babies can be conceived naturally but through incest, rape and bullying.
Babies can be conceived naturally and be unwanted.

Would anyone really prefer to conceive a baby through IVF rather than having sex with the the person they love?

I've done both,it makes no difference.I've long since learnt that there is no ideal re conceiving,carrying or raising babies.

One size doesn't fit all.

But surely no one chooses to go for IVF without ttc naturally.

That is what the whole thread is about TimeofChange- people want to pay for the medical procedure because nature gives them odds of 50/50. They want to pay for the baby they want and not the one nature chooses for them.

I would assume those going through ivf etc would rather not have to and just do it the regular way, I donated eggs, I found it quite simple but it was invasive, scans, egg collection etc and I didn't have to go through it to try to get pregnant which obviously adds massive stress. Its an amazing technology to help those that need it. Not to be used for choosing gender.

Timeofchange-I don't want to be soap boxy about this, but I do actually think our children's conceptions were acts of love of a kind. We went into the process thoughtfully, had to support each other and sometimes carry each other through the tough times. We had to learn to share the burden of infertility and love each other enough for it not to matter whose body wasn't able to conceive naturally and be grateful that one of us was fertile. We had to grieve together for a time that we couldn't conceive through a simple act of love. And don't forget that there was obviously a time before we knew we'd need fertility treatment to conceive where there was plenty of conventional stuff (although our three children will be in denial about that!)
Rest assured, there's plenty of love involved to make up for the lab bit. Gender selection-not sure. Ivf generally not an act of love-no way.