To think inviting a man into your home isn't an invitation for sex?

[AnneNonimous]

Please me gentle I'm still rather traumatised.

A male acquaintance of mine that I used to be good friends with (note: just friends) moved away to the other side of London a few years ago. Recently he was back in the area for a while so asked if we could meet up to catch up. I'm a lone parent so I don't have much/any free time so I invited him over one evening for dinner and a catch up when DS was in bed.

All was fine and friendly til I nipped to the kitchen to check on something, came back into the living room and he was sitting on my sofa with his penis out 'pleasuring himself'. I asked what the hell he was doing and he asked if I would join him. I made it crystal clear I wouldn't and he told me he wouldn't be long then. I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to leave my house and I was really disappointed in him and he'd been so disrespectful.

He left and I haven't heard from him since (this was on Saturday). I discussed what had happened with a mutual acquaintance of ours and she told me I should probably have expected it as 'what else do you invite a man to your house for on a Saturday evening.'

Please tell me this is not a popular opinion?! I have a DP who I have made aware of he situation, he is furious of course but not at me and doesn't think I was at fault.

Eeeeeeyuck! Freak! And your friend is unhinged too. Totally NBU.

I think in future when I invite a friend over for dinner I will clarify that I mean dinner and they are not invited to 'jerk their own chicken' on my sofa

'What else do you invite a man to your house for on a Saturday evening.'

Of course when you invite an old friend round in the evening you expect them to end up naked and masturbating in your sitting room. I've had my sofa scotchgarded for this very reason.

He has proven himself,quite literally,to be a wanker.

You did nothing wrong OP.

He is a dirty flasher. End of.

My response would be to tell everyone I know (especially any mutual friends) what he did.

After I had fumigated my sofa of course.

Surely any decent and normal bloke would try to kiss you, not pull his cock out..

Hes been watching to much porn where a woman catches a man wanking and sooooooo mesmerised by it that she just needs to touch so bad.

Makes me heave, being wanked at is not my idea of seduction.

WTAF?

That is NOT normal.

Even if you'd thought that sex might be on the agenda, a wanking man is not attractive!!!!!

It's creepy.

YANBU by a very long way.

Youve done NOTHING wrong. He is a pervert and a creep. And the mutual acquaintance is a victim blamer.

Even if it is in your own home surely it is some form of sexual assault.

There is no reason that you should ever consider inviting a man into your house is an invitation for sex, and I think you let him off lightly.

The guy is a freak and nees dealing with. Would you consider speaking to the police? If he has done this to you has he done it to others?

It actually makes me angry that guys can be such idiots.

The guy has a problem, but you are totally innocent and his behavior was horrible.
Your friend is wrong to say what do you expect. She must have shoddy standards! Give her his number!

Yes. What MusicalEndorphins said.

I think those men are totally dillusional - or it's the porn they actually believe. I watched a couple of times, but was bored 'stiff' as the acting was soooo unbelievably bad and unconvincing. And gives the men the complete wrong idea about what most/all women really want.

Still chuckling at the "somersaults landing on his cock* - yeah, in their wildest dreams

He's never had a long-term girlfriend, has he?

YADNBU

He's a fucking Pervy weirdo who does that?!

Weird. Inviting a long term male friend round on an evening is totally different to inviting a bloke round you've only just met, then he might have reason to hope for sex. Wanking on your sofa is just weird though, but at least he made it obvious he's a nutter and spared you having to see more of him.

Yuk. Disgusting and completely wrong. I also think that actually he didn't want to have sex with you at all, OP. I think he wanted to scare and upset you and I think he's probably got form for abusing women.

Because a man who would like to have sex with you asks. He puts his arm round you, he makes a move to kiss you. He doesn't just get his cock out.

Sorry, meant to add that while it can also be a bit upsetting to have a man you thought was just a friend attempt to kiss you and initiate sex, as long as a man backs off as soon as you say No he's not a predator, just a berk - but Mr Knob Out wasn't behaving like anyone who wants mutually enjoyable sex.

You are so so definitely, 100%, not a chance in hell being unreasonable.

That 'man' is a freak, a pervert and a total nutter.
The 'friend' is delusional, weird or maybe just a complete whore tramp.

This is not normal behaviour, grown adults do not assume "I can't go out because of the DCs, but come to mine for dinner and a catch up instead" is code for "I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby"

I suggest you abruptly end both of these friendships.

Oh dear.

This reminds me of a couple of unfortunate incidents that happened to me.

What is it with some men???!!!!!

And YDNBU

Happened to me once walking in the subways of the Elephant and Castle, London, when I was 18 or 19 - very long time ago. But wasn't a friend but a complete stranger. I said "No, I wasn't interested " in his wanked up penis that he was still wanking. There was nobody else around. I walked on with nose in the air but he followed me - still holding it, unconvinced I couldn't possibly be uninterested .

I told him to "put it away" and kept repeating that I wasn't interested.
He did eventually get the message. Just wondering now if he did get lucky with another young woman that evening?

At the time I was proud of my composure but afterwards, was concerned that I could have looked like I was up for it .