To long for a world free from cunting pigeons

[HoneyDragon]

Because the dog

Won't

Stop

Barking

At

Them



And they just it there staring.

Going

Coo, coo, coo. All day.


Bark, coo, bark, coo.

I apologised to the neighbours, thankfully they haven't noticed the dog. They will when I run after the feathery bastards with a chain saw though.

[TheCuntingPigeon]

Coo coo coo.

[limitedperiodonly]

I think so. I'm sure I read about it on MN. I can't remember the name of the rescue centre.

I seem to remember that you have to have a secure garden because the hedgehogs have been injured so can't fend for themselves.

It may all have been a fantasy of mine though

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

No, I've just googled some more and although some of them are crap fake adoption things, you can actually have a hedgehog for your garden!!! It is quite specific and rigorous though ? you're right, they tend to be disabled and so need feeding, a house and an enclosed garden with no predators

A girl can dream, though.

[limitedperiodonly]

I've googled it now. I want one too but there isn't a centre near me .

[cozietoesie]

In a former house when I was much younger, we had an ex-raj colonel living next door with a long garden and pigeons at the bottom. He truly hated pigeons.

Every afternoon in summer he would take himself out to his veranda with a large bottle of gin, some tonic and a shotgun. (They were allowed back then.)

So our summer afternoons were punctuated by

BOOM

CACKLE

SLURP

BOOM

CACKLE

SLURP

[persimmon]

I like the coo of woodpigeons when you can hear it down the chimney. Very soothing.

[cozietoesie]

Not at 4.30 in the morning it ain't!

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

Bad luck, limited!

Start a centre of your own perhaps?

[LondonMan]

Cunting pigeons and wood pigeons are the same thing AFAIK.

I think the first are rock pigeons, i.e. the flying rats that infest cities. I get lots of birds in the garden immediately outside my flat, and even though I'm in the middle of London, the flying rats seem to stay away from the garden, I only ever see wood pigeons there. (Much bigger and fatter.)

Walking through back streets to my local hospital last week, I cut across a mini-park (40 meters squared with grass and a couple of trees) and instead of pigeons there were about 20 crows walking about on the lawn. Don't know what that was about.

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

They look different to me. Wood pigeons have different colouring. As well as being fat bastards.

[GoshlyoHeavens]

Pigeons are the same as all of us: scabby, disease ridden cunts us all, alive.

[limitedperiodonly]

Speak for yourself. Since I've been to the clinic I'm not scabby and disease-ridden any more.

I am a cunt though.

[GerundTheBehemoth]

Feral pigeons, the ones that live on buildings and are popularly designated 'rats with wings', are the gone-feral descendents of domestic pigeons (racing, homing, fantail, etc etc). Domestic pigeons are themselves the descendents of wild rock doves, which you can still find in their original form living around certain very remote rocky seacliffs, in the Western Isles for example. They mostly have orange eyes and black bills, and come in many different colours - most are grey but you also get black, white, piebald and reddish ones. This variety is thanks to their ancestry, a diversity of domestic breeds.

Some feral pigeons: 1.bp.blogspot.com/-MqjqCQ1K2Tg/T3NXyY8CGdI/AAAAAAAACJk/ByhzziO1GKg/s1600/Feral+Pigeons+2,+Hastings.jpg; 1.bp.blogspot.com/-MqjqCQ1K2Tg/T3NXyY8CGdI/AAAAAAAACJk/ByhzziO1GKg/s1600/Feral+Pigeons+2,+Hastings.jpg

Woodpigeons are proper wild birds, though they are common in town parks and gardens. They are bigger and fatter, and are light grey with white wing edges and neck patches (except the young ones), and have spooky pale eyes and orange bills.

A woodpigeon: 1.bp.blogspot.com/-AQcAjbYFxGg/Tn8jKnqwfAI/AAAAAAAABdE/walLVZaLyA4/s1600/Woodpigeon+bathing+02%252C+Dunorlan+Park%252C+September+2011%252C+MT.jpg; ; a baby woodpigeon: 1.bp.blogspot.com/-9l5EqT0xx30/TnIa3dy_KFI/AAAAAAAABcI/8B4Lcs0Kc3I/s1600/Woodpigeon+chick%252C+SWR.jpg

Then there are stock doves, another proper wild species which looks like a smaller, daintier woodpigeon, with dark eyes and no white bits. They are rarer but some of the rural MNers probably get them in the garden.

A stock dove: 2.bp.blogspot.com/-lX9URjByoxM/T_7Ld1fi3FI/AAAAAAAACw8/hoDLi-2QFR8/s1600/Stock+Dove,+East+Sutton.jpg; A stock dove and a woodpigeon together (stock dove at the top): 2.bp.blogspot.com/-5WWY7P5ox4A/T3RvPpvi7NI/AAAAAAAACNk/gT5ZpDJyfP4/s1600/Stock+Dove+and+Woodpigeon,+SWR.jpg

[GerundTheBehemoth]

Dammit, posted the same feral pigeons twice. Here are some different ones: 4.bp.blogspot.com/-JsXxM9JezUM/T0NW62OQ4eI/AAAAAAAAB60/o6NnpFYbLl8/s1600/Feral+Pigeon,+London.jpg; 1.bp.blogspot.com/-ih9bSFHhjPQ/T3Nbizgt03I/AAAAAAAACK0/S19ifkRDY9c/s1600/Feral+Pigeons+3,+Hastings.jpg

[JakeBullet]

I promise faithfully to read through the thread but can I just say.....fabulous OP...have just laughed out loud.

Wrong time to say that I fed the town pigeons with DS last week so he could watch the male pigeons cooing and showing off their colourful feathers to the female ones.

[JakeBullet]

....and loving the post about the shotgun owning, gin soaked ex-colonel.

[Lavenderloves]

Can you not buy a plastic owl to scare them away?

[limitedperiodonly]

That stock dove is really sweet and the rock pigeons look graceful when they have a full complement of toes. I like the bronze ones you get round here.

I hate wood pigeons though. I wouldn't hurt one. But I would eat it if someone wanted to kill it and dress it for me.

I recommend spatchcocked, marinated in oil with cayenne and oregano and grilled, served on toasted ciabatta on a bed of warm tomatoes, oil and basil.

[NightmareWalking]

Collared dove, wood pigeon - just fancy ways to say cunting pigeons. I am having a bastard day - went to enjoy five minutes sunshine and got crapped on by the same dirty great pigeon that's been stealing my fruit. Shot the lot of them I say.

[NightmareWalking]

*shoot that is!

[TheCuntingPigeon]

Coo cooooooooooooooooooooooo cooo.

:(

[GerundTheBehemoth]

[limitedperiodonly]

I've never been crapped on by a pigeon.

My mum has always said it's lucky right up until the time a few weeks ago when one crapped on her shoulder a few inches away from mine.

Then she was shrieking for me to get it off her.

I've never been stung by a wasp either and I want to keep it that way.

[GerundTheBehemoth]

I've been crapped on by a pigeon. It's not as bad as being crapped on by a chameleon.

[TheCuntingPigeon]

Cooouuuooooouuuu