To long for a world free from cunting pigeons

[HoneyDragon]

Because the dog

Won't

Stop

Barking

At

Them

And they just it there staring.

Going

Coo, coo, coo. All day.

Bark, coo, bark, coo.

I apologised to the neighbours, thankfully they haven't noticed the dog. They will when I run after the feathery bastards with a chain saw though.

'feathery bastards' has really made me giggle.

I don't mind them myself. I'm fond of the fat and stupid wood pigeons that frequent my garden, and city pigeons seem to be under better control these days.

But I'd be annoyed about the barking dog and the cooing pigeons too.

tinker don't worry, I am not a German teacher and the only German word I know is scheiße

www.guardian.co.uk/environment/shortcuts/2013/jul/02/how-to-survive-seagull-attack

Silly season story or worrying trend?

A pigeon hit me on the back of the head. It wasn't trying to attack me, it was going for a bit of Cornish pasty someone had dropped and obviously had poor spatial awareness.

We don't get many here thank goodness. But in towns they are a menace. But seagulls are a lot worse I think. We don't get any of them either but I have lived in places that do.

Tom Lehrer rocks LFTMAD! One of those flying rats ruined my beautiful new top last week!

peppersaunt this is the Tom Lehrer song for you...poisoning pigeons in the park

Dammit, greenhill - I was just going to come and post a link to that song for Honeydragon. muttermuttermutter

Pigeons can fuck off. And take the bastarding slugs with them.

Very true. I'd feel more benign towards those fat cooing bastards if they ate the slugs in my garden rather than competing with them for the tenderest leaves.

I don't think many things go for slugs. I think hedgehogs do.

I fancy adopting a disabled hedgehog from a rescue centre. My garden has high walls so it couldn't get out. One wall does have ivy on it - could a three-legged hedgehog climb out?

There are lots of hiding places for it. I used to get a cat in the garden but I haven't seen it for over a year so I think it might be dead.

In fairness. I am also pissed of with the dog. Bit I don't blame her for barking, they are taking the piss, massively.

She has been fairly good today. I think even she mAy admit defeat.

We used to have a hedgehog! It used to come into the guinea pigs' hutch and hang out with them, which they were fine with after all the early experimental impaling.

honeydragon

Don't feel bad. Pigeons are vermin.

I realise that's a controversial thing to say on MN because the reality is that we're species whose worlds have collided. In an ideal world we should all live in peace.

But I've tried negotiating with those fucking wood pigeons and they don't get it.

You should live here! We are surrounded by Hundreds of acres of peas! Pigeons adore peas!

Ill tell you whats worse than pigeons...

MUTHER FUCKING CUNTING BASTARD CUCKOOS! The foreign, nest stealing, noisy little shitbags!
We get THREE! endangered MY ARSE! in different directions, all playing "come and ave a go if you think your hard enough"!
From dawn until dusk, every 2 seconds. "cuckoo" "Cuckoo" "fucking cuckoo" Its like water torture!

Limited Ducks eat slugs. Sadly, ducks are cunts too.

and seagulls. They make a terrible mess. They screech all day, shit everywhere and don't contribute a jot to society.

How would you suggest seagulls, pigeons et al could contribute to society, PipkinsPal? I am not sure they have a terribly wide skill-set, and I can't see an obvious career path for them.

This thread is like if Beatrix Potter had taken a few wrong turns in life and ended up ranting on a bench in a shopping centre with a bottle of Basics Vodka.

Oh bugger, my peas are flowering and I didn't get any pea net! Trip to the garden centre tomorrow methinks..

YANBU at all. I loathe and despise cunting pigeons. The fuckers sit on the roof above our living room (top floor flat) and coo fucking coo all day and they also shit all over my balcony.

Worse, I have discovered that one of our neighbours is feeding the dirty fucking sky rats which is why they keep coming back!

Right! I've had enough!

My mum just made me get out her car and chase on off the road as it refused to let her drive further without squishing it.

Bloody loving the pigeon nicknames! Nearly coughed up a kidney laughing at 'TheCuntingPigeon*

Pigeons are fair game! If they don't get out of the way....

I was going to say ducks saggy but I wasn't sure. They do perform amazingly squirty shits everywhere.

My mum had a duck in WWII in an urban yard and I think his job was to keep slugs off their vegetables. They used to keep rabbits and chickens that were useful edible.

She was a teenager and loved Mr Duck but I bet they ate him in the end.

limited, can you actually really adopt a hedgehog?? Like, actually it comes to live in your garden, rather than you pay loads of money and get a badly photocopied flyer about how it's doing all made up once a year?

If this is true I'm having one. I've just looked them up. I want Gonzales (ho yes they give them names). And I've just discovered that baby ones are called hoglets. [too cute]