to think 'You look well' = fat?

[wonderingifiam2013]

Ok, I'm a little hormonal and 14 weeks pregnant so at that getting a bit chunky before bump sticks out stage

I've got a tan at the moment and have gained 1/2 stone - which is more than I really wanted to have gained by this stage (I gained 4 stone last time and am determined not to gain this again as it really got me down and probably added to my PND).

What is bothering me, and I know it shouldn't, is the amount of people that keep telling me I look 'well' ... being an ex borderline anorexic in my youth I still take this as an insult :(

I know I'm being daft - but do most people take it as positive comment or that they have gained weight?

This is why other women terrify me
I have told people they 'look well' because... They look well! Healthy, rosy cheeked, happy!
They've probably all stomped off home to post stuff about me on MN!

Hmm, I think this euphemism exists in some people's minds but not others. Many people use well to mean well. Especially in pregnancy, when they may be just trying to avoid the cliche of blooming!

In non-preg life I might think 'don't I usually? What do you mean?' But when preg or in early baby stage I'd take it as meaning 'you look healthy and happy, as though you're not puking constantly and may have had some sleep, that's great!'.

If people want to say you've put on weight when you're pregnant IME they usually just say it! Like 'are you sure you're xx weeks', not long to go now, are you having twins etc etc etc

It seems to me to be one of those situations where people think they can say what they like.

It sounds like you are looking good

Oh god. I say 'you look well' when people look bright eyed, clear of skin or tanned etc.

I've never meant it as 'you're looking like a right told chubster.'

All my friends must think I'm a total bitch.

I am a serial yo yo dieter. When I am slim people say "wow, you look great, what diet have you been doing" etc etc

When I am in a fat phase, like now, people who haven't seen me for a while say " you look well".

IME "you look well" means "Blimey, you've put on weight".

I'd say that if someone had lost weoght though - does that mean I've been insulting slim folk?

Ye gods, I have only ever used to it to say someone looks.... WELL! I have never heard of it being a euphemism for putting on weight.

The only time people say this to me is when I am unconfident about my weight but I like you OP like to control my eating and have been on some pills and just went with the over-eating tbh rather than trying to curb/stop eating crap. I've lost some of it again now not enough though

but you're pregnant, so you are okay to have a bit of extra weight and probably do look well if you, like me think you look good when you are almost anorexic, when apparently we look quite ill.

Take it all as positives just now, you can worry about your weight after the birth of baby

I used to have anorexia and people did say "you look well" once I started to gain the weight. But it wasn't coded for "fat"! I genuinely did look better once I had a healthier body. I HATED people saying it at the time though.

That said, I use it on other people if I think they're looking particularly good. "You look well/nice"= not strained/drawn/gaunt/peaky

Dear God I've told loads of people they're looking well

That's because they look well...not bloody fat

When I think someone looks well it's normally because their skin is glowing or their hair looks really nice etc...

People always say it to me when I've been outdoors a lot and caught the sun on my face, also generally it coincides with me looking less tired and not having bags under my eyes

They're usually looking at my face/skin when they say it and it wouldn't occur to me that they're judging my bum/hips/fat levels.. particularly as when people say it i'm generally exactly the same weight as usual.

I think it's the opposite of 'you look tired'.

YABU, it doesn't mean that at all.

I say it because I mean it.

Also I once said "you look great have you lost weight" (I meant it) and she was really upset.... No pleasing some folk.

As far as I'm concerned it means you look well.

But then I don't speak in code or euphemisms!

And yet again on MN I am soooo glad I don't move in the circles that many MNers do where 'well' is code for 'fat' and where anybody would even think that

I could have started this thread. People only say it to me when I am fat and wearing lots of makeup.
Draw your own conclusions.

You look well = you look well.

^people have only said it to me while I am fat and wearing lots of make up"

Maybe they think you look well and while your internal paranoia at feeling a bit shit means you can't take a compliment, they don't have that paranoia and are actually saying that in their eyes, you look well.

Yes you are being daft.
Speaking as someone who was pallid, green-skinned, vomiting at least 4 times a day, underweight and teaching FT through both of my pregnancies, so knackered and with a smile that looked like strychnine for breakfast.

If someone had said that to me, they would have been lying.

Ways for women to make themselves paranoid number 7,942.

I've always known it as a euphemism for "you've put on weight," but meant in a positive way. If you look dog-rough, most people are polite enough not to comment.

Well I hope the bitch cow I said 'looked well' lady week interpreted it as I meant, ' you look fat' she's vile.

Really hope she didn't take it as a compliment.😁

If I say you "look well" I mean you look well.

If think you look fat I wouldn't say anything as that's my problem with how I think.

It means "you look well." Seeing pregnant women and babies looking healthy brings about some kind of primal "yay! Survival of the species!" instinct I think.

And as a previous poster said, if you're often underweight you may genuinely look healthier with more weight on, whatever you think. I know when friends have had eating disorders they look sad and sometimes skeletal, and then SO much lovelier when they recover. But obviously part of the nature of the disorder is that you can't make the sufferer see that.

Really

I've never used it or taken it to mean that.

I think judging by mn I better stop saying any compliments or comments at all on or about other people, because everything can be taken the wrong way.