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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad to see 5 year old girl in hijab

908 replies

INeedSomeSun · 02/07/2013 09:44

Probably will get flamed for this & iabu as its not my business.
I am not racist in any way. I am Asian myself and have many Muslim friends.

Growing up, I never saw any muslim girls with hijabs. This is a trend which has been growing since the late 90s.

I know that the meaning behind the hijab is to protect modesty and show committment to Islam. It is supposed to be the girls/womans decision after much thought and dedication.

At 5 years old they are still getting changed in the classroom for PE and she won't be able to do this now with boys around. How will she play and do PE freely? She has been singled out by the views of her parents.
Also, she will barely know what religion means, so she has not made an informed decision for herself.

Normally she is chasing about with my DS and other kids before school.Today she was just stood there, perhaps embarrassed or told not to?
I felt very sad

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:11

defuse that is one thing I have thus far avoided, yeay to hijab and never had a bout of headlice, I cant deal with creepy crawlies.

bottleofbeer · 02/07/2013 22:12

I was in a very touristy area last weekend so saw lots of different cultures. Some of the headscarves are lovely and I admired a few of them, especially because my hair appointment isn't until tomorrow and I was having a seriously bad hair week.

The family I saw where the mother was wearing a full burka was definitely Middle Eastern, not Somalian. Their little boy was fascinated by my dog and I chatted to the dad. The woman just hung back and forgive me for saying this, I'm almost glad because I honestly don't know how I'd have reacted to her because I just found the full on burka a bit intimidating. The fact it made me quite angry is, I realise my issue not hers. It's up to her how she dresses, but there's modesty, and there's making yourself as good as invisible. I admit, my initial reaction was anger and wanting to tell her to take the bloody thing off.

cantspel · 02/07/2013 22:14

it not rude if it is a few pixels on a internet chat board. It is just a discussion with random strangers.
If i went upto a stanger in the street and said i do wish you wouldn't wear that. Now that would be rude.

defuse · 02/07/2013 22:14

cantspell We muslims also believe that Jesus did not die on the cross - that he will return.

AddictedToCoffee · 02/07/2013 22:15

How did a thread about a girl who turned up to school ONE day (and no-one knows for the whole day or not), where the OP ASSUMED she was being forced to wear it, ASSUMED she couldn't do PE and mix with boys, become all about how the hijab is wrong, how islam is oppressive and the usual muslim bashing that starts when a thread like this comes along??!

BTW anyone seen the OP come back??? Me thinks some shit stirring is going on......

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:16

bahahahaha cantspell, I was once told by a woman 'god I hate seeing women in those things everytime I see a woman wearing a head covering I want to rip it off....' I told her 'please don't I choose to wear this......'

She was very nice tho (apart from that bit)

defuse · 02/07/2013 22:17

fuzzy, dd has been attending mosque from an early age - so always used to wear a hijab to the mosque. Extending it to school merely made her feel more grown up and gave me some rest after battling the pesky lice for over 8 months!

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:17

Addicted all good points and I've noticed them too.

bottleofbeer · 02/07/2013 22:20

I don't think Islam and Christianity are so different.

I'm personally against ALL organised religion, but I respect that others have faith etc..

My understanding is that Islam totally believes in Jesus as a prophet but Muhammed is the last prophet who was around 600 years after Jesus.

Considering we're not so different why is the whole live and let live thing just not happening?

cantspel · 02/07/2013 22:21

fuzzywuzzy does that translate to you believe that Jesus was the Son of God, His only begotten son, who is seated at the right hand of his Father ?

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:24

No its exactly that God does not beget nor is he begotten.

Jesus the Son of the Lady Mary is the word of God he is the son of no man he has no earthly father.

quoteunquote · 02/07/2013 22:25

I would love to see some proof.

cantspel · 02/07/2013 22:26

defuse where i believe that he died on the cross and rose again and 40 days later he ascension into Heaven.

I know muslims dont believe in the ascention but do you believe in the ascension of Mary?
Real question as i have often wondered what other religions think happened to `mary

Boomba · 02/07/2013 22:26

YY cantspel that is what i meant. I didnt mean to suggest you were being rude now...just answering your question, as i see it

AddictedToCoffee · 02/07/2013 22:27

Hands up, who wants to wait for the OP to come back with an update?

Unfair to fuzzy to have to keep defending herself and religion when the whole thread is based on big, fat ASSUMPTIONS.

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:28

With Regards Jesus the son of Mary we beleive he ascended to heaven before the crucifixion.

With the Lady Mary we know she is one of the ladies of Paradise, presumably she lived out the rest of her earthly life.

Embracethemuffintop · 02/07/2013 22:28

Why don't we just let children wear want they want - that way this is all a non-issue. If a child wants to wear a head scarf to look like mummy, fine, it probably won't last long if it is restrictive and then she'll be interested in wearing something else. Let them have the freedom to choose what they want to wear - just like we do.

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:31

Addicted OP wont, every so often there's a thread like this on MN with the predictable posts.

wharrgarbl · 02/07/2013 22:33

all pictures depicting the Lady Mary are of her in hijab

Really? Not my understanding at all.

The biggest question I have about hijab, is that if it is seen as the dress of a proper and modest woman, how is it then possible not to despise, or at least look down on any woman who doesn't wear it, regardless of how they dress? If Islamic men are told that 'good' women wear the veil, doesn't that by definition make anyone who doesn't, 'bad', or not worthy of respect? Please note, I'm not (only) referring to women who wear revealing clothes, more women like me, who rarely show much skin, but absolutely don't and wouldn't wear any kind of veil.

ethelb · 02/07/2013 22:34

I haven't read the whole thread but my immediate reaction is yes, it makes me sad. I grew up in an area with a large muslim population and remember feeling especially sorry for my primary aged friends who were made to fast in ramadan.

It goes against a lot of muslim practices, teaching and culture for these to be doen before puberty and I know some muslims who get as cross about this misinterpretation of the teachings as I do. It is very unfair on the child.

cantspel · 02/07/2013 22:35

fuzzywuzzy where i believe in the opposite he was the only begotten son of God.

Angels are called the sons of God in job since they had no fathers and were created by God and the same for Adam but they are not his begoten sons.

Pixel · 02/07/2013 22:35

So what do you do when your sons get headlice, do you put a scarf on them too?

crescentmoon · 02/07/2013 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

candyandyoga · 02/07/2013 22:38

Yanbu - that's disgusting really :(

defuse · 02/07/2013 22:39

wharrgarbl - I wear the hijab, but why would i look down on someone who doesnt? Would it be acceptable for me to look down on someone who wears very revealing clothing? the answer is no!

My hijab doesnt make me good or bad - it is my actions. I wear the hijab because my faith is important to me. it does not give me the license to look down on those who don't wear it - no, does it make me any better than anyone else. That in itself would contradict the 'spirit' of islam.

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