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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad to see 5 year old girl in hijab

908 replies

INeedSomeSun · 02/07/2013 09:44

Probably will get flamed for this & iabu as its not my business.
I am not racist in any way. I am Asian myself and have many Muslim friends.

Growing up, I never saw any muslim girls with hijabs. This is a trend which has been growing since the late 90s.

I know that the meaning behind the hijab is to protect modesty and show committment to Islam. It is supposed to be the girls/womans decision after much thought and dedication.

At 5 years old they are still getting changed in the classroom for PE and she won't be able to do this now with boys around. How will she play and do PE freely? She has been singled out by the views of her parents.
Also, she will barely know what religion means, so she has not made an informed decision for herself.

Normally she is chasing about with my DS and other kids before school.Today she was just stood there, perhaps embarrassed or told not to?
I felt very sad

OP posts:
Boomba · 02/07/2013 21:45

but you dont need to understand why stayawayfromtheedge

CoteDAzur · 02/07/2013 21:46

"Hijab isnt to be worn until a girl reaches puberty. it is meant to be obligatory at that point not optional"

Only if you take the Quran literally, as fundamentalists do. (look up the definition of "fundamentalism" before you get offended at this)

A significant portion of devout Muslims around the world do not wear the hijab. Your view that it is obligatory is by no means the view of all Muslims.

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 21:46

Crescent, Italy's minister Roberto Maroni, refused to sign a hijab ban precisely because all pictures depicting the Lady Mary are of her in hijab.

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 02/07/2013 21:49

That was useful Boomba - isn't this whole thread about understanding and tolerance? I'm I the only poster not allowed to question?

mejypoo · 02/07/2013 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boomba · 02/07/2013 21:50

cote makes a very good point. Most west African Muslims dont wear hijab or burqua

its culture and choice

mejypoo · 02/07/2013 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Changeasgoodas · 02/07/2013 21:51

Have not read the thread but YANBU in my opinion, I feel sad enough when I see grown women in it although I try very hard to understand. I only just realised the other day, when in a meeting and a colleague couldn't hear the conference call well that ears are covered with a Hijab too. I do hope the little girls ears are not covered, it would be awful if her education was harmed because she couldn't hear well in class.

cantspel · 02/07/2013 21:52

As the pre islamic khimar was a loose scarf which was draped over the hair and then left to flow down the back it would hardly do much to keep you warm. They were a sign of status with the more wealth a woman had the longer her khimar would be.

As Muslims dont accept jesus as the son of God i dont why what Mary would have worn to would have any significance to a muslim woman.

CoteDAzur · 02/07/2013 21:52

"isn't this whole thread about understanding and tolerance?"

Err... no, it's about small children covering up in the name of religion.

Boomba · 02/07/2013 21:54

stayaway I really wasnt meaning to be arsey! Smile

I mean just that though.....if girls want to wear a full face of make-up and a headscarf, its up to them. What's to understand? Its the same as any other personal preference.

Muslim women get scrutinised like this, because they dont conform with the label/assumptions people have assigned them. They dont need anyone else to 'understand'...its a choice....it doesnt need verifying

cantspel · 02/07/2013 21:54

And even though i dont like the fact that some women no matter what their faith choose to cover i would always defend their right to free choice.
But i have the right to wish they would hake different choices. Dont I?

Boomba · 02/07/2013 21:56

like skinny low-rise jeans and a muffin top...i dont understand that Grin

mejypoo · 02/07/2013 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bottleofbeer · 02/07/2013 21:59

The headscarves don't bother me at all (I'm sure you're all very pleased to know Grin) I can see your face, I can interact with you and read your facial expressions (which the human brain is programmed to do).

I defend your right to wear what you choose to wear, it's bugger all to do with me.

But can anybody seriously defend the burka? they reduce a woman to a vague shape and a slither of their eyes. How do you interact with a person when you can't see their face? can't read their body language? I've said it before - they're totally dehumanising and they make me feel really uncomfortable. Yes, yes, I know blind people have to do that all the time but I'm not blind and so other senses haven't kicked in to help me in that situation.

It takes away the very fundamental sense of who a person is.

cantspel · 02/07/2013 21:59

I always think girls who wear low-rise jeans with a muffin top just dont own a full length mirror

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:00

Change what was her hijab made of? Mine doesn't impede my hearing!

Cantspel, In Islam the Lady Mary mother of Jesus is revered as amongst the best of women a woman guaranteed paradise, she is the mother of Jesus whom we revere as a Prophet of God.

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 02/07/2013 22:01

My point Boomba is that the modesty argument that is being discussed on here falls down - it is absolutely not about modesty.

And I agree Cote that it is wrong for a 5 year old - the ones I see of this age wearing a scarf appear to be on the way to or from Mosque.

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:03

Bottle I think with the face veil a lot is down to personal beliefs but also the cultural practices, different cultures have different types of face veils, I think its predominantly Somalian Muslims who wear the chador style, Arabs wear opaque face veils, Egyptians the gold metal ones etc.

Boomba · 02/07/2013 22:04

yes, its often about fashion and identity, rather than modesty

Boomba · 02/07/2013 22:04

or probably...identity and fashion, would be more accurate

cantspel · 02/07/2013 22:05

But muslims have down graded Jesus from the Son of God to the status of a prophet so although your religion respects them it doesn't place them in the same role as i do. But then at least your religion calls Jesus a prophrt where mine completely rejects Mohammed as one so you could argue your religion is more accepting than mine.

Either way we will all find out who was right one day and in the mean time we should all just live and let live without forcing our beliefs on our children before they are old enough to make a reasoned choice.

defuse · 02/07/2013 22:06

had to laugh when i read some comments including rickets caused by hijab (para-phrasing of course) and girls education harmed due to hijab!

DD (7) was getting head lice so often that she asked that she could wear hijab to school. She doesnt get head lice no more. Grin

Boomba · 02/07/2013 22:07

catspel i think people can wish what they like cant they. It would be rude to go round telling people what you wish they would do though?

You could extend 'crumbles' reasoning to SAHMs for example; should no one in the UK choose to be a stay at home mum, because in some countries women are forced to stay at home?

fuzzywuzzy · 02/07/2013 22:09

We haven't down graded the Son of Mary, The fundamental principle of Islam is that God is one, he neither begets nor is he begotten.

We believe that Jesus the son of Mary is the word of God and the son of no man, he was strengthened by the holy spirit Gabriel in his task to spread the word of God, we also await his second coming.