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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that 'bridesmaid duties' should be no more that turning up, wearing a dress and getting pissed

92 replies

LeGavrOrf · 01/07/2013 21:34

Reading the thread about the country wedding.

Lots of comments that bridesmaids have to conduct duties for the bride all day, serious role and all that.

I have only been a bridesmaid once, I just turned up, had my hair done, went to the wedding, had some photos and then partied like everyone else.

Was I a spectacularly crap bridesmaid for not playing lady in waiting to the bride all day?

OP posts:

ArtexMonkey · 02/07/2013 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trice · 02/07/2013 13:36

My bridesmaid had a one night stand with the best man and left her knickers in my bed for me to find when I came back from my honeymoon. I think that goes above and beyond the call of duty.

HeirToTheIronThrone · 02/07/2013 13:47

Ferret I was BM on Saturday. That was my job too :) Other than that, just to keep the little BM (7) company at the meal. Then drinking a lot of gin. Oh, and the bride and I did an impromptu dance routine when no one else was on the dance floor, but not sure that's strictly a 'duty'...

WafflyVersatile · 02/07/2013 14:27

cambridge the BestM's girlfriend basically warned me off even trying.

kerala · 02/07/2013 20:59

DHs cousin danced rather enthusiastically and managed to stand on Brides Mothers foot at the wedding reception disco, whilst wearing stilettos the mother had to go straight to A&E. I guess that goes on the what not to do as a bridesmaid list...

ParadiseChick · 02/07/2013 21:04

I bought her fags on my way to get bit to get ready as she'd forgotten. I didn't even ask her for the money back.

MaureenMLove · 02/07/2013 21:07

LOL! Brilliant title OP!

That's my bridesmaid to a tee! The best man, in his speech, thanked her for turning up, she wore her lemon yellow puffy dress with pride, got very, very drunk, swung her flowers round her head a lot and wore her DHs top hat!

She was the most undignified bridesmaid ever! And it was just perfect. I would never have become bessie mates with her, if she's have been a bore!

MaureenMLove · 02/07/2013 21:12

I've now just read all of these posts and I have to summon my bridesmaid to take a look! She's not as bad as she thinks she was!

FryOneFatManic · 02/07/2013 22:21

I have only been a bridesmaid twice.

Firstly aged about 10, wearing a pink dress and sneaking a small glass of champagne but I had some lousy shoes, as mum would not hear of me having some open toed sandals (in summer) as they would be "too tarty".

Secondly, as an adult, having to wear a hideous peach dress. I still have one photo of me in that dress, with DP. I really hated it, it was a peachy meringue, so very much of the 80s.

If DP and I ever get married (well, 26 years and counting) I am NOT having any bridesmaids, it will be a small affair, 30 people max I would guess.

Original poster

LeGavrOrf · 02/07/2013 22:23

Haha at 'swung her flowers around her head'

Yes I remember flower waving as well. The bouquets were trashed at the end of it. I think I clobbered a fellow bridesmaid over the head with mine a few times

OP posts:

MyShoofly · 02/07/2013 22:24

I totally agree with the OP. I hate this presumption that a bridesmaid should act like some kind of unpaid staff and be flattered for the opportunity.

If you ask your bridesmaids to help with something it should be with the most humble gratitude IMO. As a friend I'm happy to help my friends with things as a favor not as an expectation.

Kbear · 02/07/2013 22:27

Maureeeeeeen you still harping on about that drunk bridesmaid at your wedding? You gotta let it go...

MyShoofly · 02/07/2013 22:35

My friend once advised me that she considered taking away my bridesmaid status because I had the gall to go backpacking in Europe in the 3 months prior to her wedding. A trip that I had scrimped and saved for over a year to afford. She plonked her date down in the middle of when I was supposed to go.

So despite rearranging my own plans and ensuring I was home the week before her date so I'd be around to help out, I was gobsmacked to learn that I was still not apparently sufficiently grateful enough for the special opportunity to be her bridesmaid.

Needless to say I lost all respect for her.

MaureenMLove · 02/07/2013 22:50

Of course Kbear, You don't remember her do you? In fact, you don't remember much about it at all, do you??

Thisvehicleisreversing · 02/07/2013 22:51

My bridesmaid was a bit rubbish. She hogged my mirror to put her make up on while I was desperately trying to do my own. And she looked better in the photos (serves me right for choosing a slimmer, prettier friend)

When I was her maid of honour I took my responsibilities very seriously. I fetched her drinks, helped her with her huge dress, checked she was happy with everything and I decorated the honeymoon suite with balloons, streamers, confetti and rose petals.

I was jealous no one has done that for me

RaisingChaotic · 02/07/2013 22:58

I was a bridesmaid when I was 9. On the day I turned up at the house, put my dress on, got in the car and went to the church and walked down the aisle behind the bride. Then, while the ceremony was taking place, I fainted

Kbear · 02/07/2013 23:46

i do remember her, what I don' t remember is that cab driver on the way home.... (hi Mum..)

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