To think that 'bridesmaid duties' should be no more that turning up, wearing a dress and getting pissed

[LeGavrOrf]

Reading the thread about the country wedding.

Lots of comments that bridesmaids have to conduct duties for the bride all day, serious role and all that.

I have only been a bridesmaid once, I just turned up, had my hair done, went to the wedding, had some photos and then partied like everyone else.

Was I a spectacularly crap bridesmaid for not playing lady in waiting to the bride all day?

LTD dam thought got away with it!😜

I semi-organised the hen night from afar.

I accompanied my sis as she drove us to the hairdressers and make up people in the morning.

I did all the table flowers (this was an aside to being bridesmaid tho)

I herded guests into the hotel garden for a photo and got called sergeant major bridesmaid for my troubles.

I tried to make sure I worked my way round all the family present and have a little chat in a hostessy way.

Um.

Should I have been doing more? Pruning her lady garden and vajazzling it?

My Bridesmaid nicked the deposit from me. I would be grateful for any of you in hindsight

My BM and I have been mutual BMs for eachother. Our duties were:
help prepare cake/ decorations/ favours (Both DIY weddings and we enjoy that kind of thing)
Choose BM dresses, sort fitting.
Organise hen night
Spend night together before hand (hers involved preparing the very DIY venue before the social bit)
Get ready in morning including eachothers make-up (and hair at hers)
Arrange skirts and veil at ceremony
Walk down an aisle.
Hold flowers
Walk up aisle
Pose for photos.

Job done

Oh and make sure BMan (DH made a better job of the speech than his ramble at our own wedding!

We managed to competently meet all expectations despite the presence of DS1 (20 months). The bride was happy for him and toy donkey (who fortunately complemented the colour scheme) to be in the photos. DS2 was sort of present in the form of 6wks in utero, which meant not only could I not get drunk (BM fail, but hey at least I'd already shagged the B Man ) but I felt very queasy. Never one to be upstaged, DH had to be more ill, failed to eat the wedding breakfast, held himself together for the speech then crashed out in bed for the night leaving me in charge of DS. At least that meant when DS got dozy, I could take him to the bedroom with DH and get grooving on the dance floor knowing that in a few months I'd be too heavy and decrepid to move let alone dance.

Great wedding!

At least being BM I didn't get involved in organising for our Brownies to come up...

I had the bridesmaid from hell at my wedding.
She invited herself to be one of my bridesmaids.
Charming(?) girl turns overnight into jealous raging beast- she insisted on organising the crappiest hen ever, then disappeared home early without telling anyone.
Barged in to the hairdresser on the wedding day telling the hairdresser to make her hair 'better than mine'. "I want an up style!"
(Much snickering frm hairdressers to me)
At at the meal she changed the seating so she could have her long standing boyfriend at the wedding table, and not the groomsman.
At the end of the meal, she went to pay: I still have no idea why.

I think we all sighed a big one when her rather insipid dp eventually proposed to her.

Her wedding was magnificently boring. She outdid any other bridezilla I've heard of.
To punish me for being pregnant before her, (she hasn't had kids in the end) I was absolutely not allowed to be one of her bridesmaids as she had them all in matching frocks / figures, (she asked my other bridesmaids to be her bridesmaids- they declined)
and for the meal, I was shunted onto a far table with the most tedious people I have ever met, (my DH weren't seated together, but he moved, and we spent the entire time playing footsie and giggling) so it wasn't all lost!
I did however get the most awful food poisoning from her wedding- 7 months pregnant- while her wedding has faded into the mists of time, the puking I'll remember forever!

I feel cheated. When I was bridesmaid I was advised we would be getting ready separately in the morning. My morning duties before the wedding (it was an outdoor wedding) included preparing wine, canapés and welcoming drinks at the reception. For 100+ people. While bride got professional hair/make up. Only informed of these duties a week before. I was exhausted (and pregnant, as it turned out) come the wedding...

Ladies, you are getting it all wrong!

The first rule of being a Brides maid is to be a virgin. The clue is in the title. No maids have ever been plucked.

If you are a married woman, you may have the title "Matron of Honour". If you are a hussy, you may not attend the wedding under any circumstances.

Two of my bridesmaids arranged my hen do, stayed at my place the night before the wedding to watch dodgy wedding films and generally keep me from nerves taking over. They helped me get ready in the morning, got the champagne on the go, etc. The third turned up about an hour before the ceremony, stood around looking pretty etc.

I didn't drag any of them to wedding dress shops, but we all live at different ends of the country anyway so it would have been a logistical nightmare.

YABU, I think. As a bridesmaid many times over (never a bride!) we've always been given duties (dress shopping, rehearsal dinner planning, hen do, cake/caterer tasting [personally, my favourite job!]) then at the wedding, one will be in charge of gifts, one will be in charge of the guest book, one will witness the marriage license, etc., etc.

I've always thought there was too much to do to get drunk as a bridesmaid, so I always prefer to not get asked!

My bridesmaids got involved in trying on bridesmaid dresses, the 7 year old selfishly grew a foot size so had to get replacement shoes. They Rocked up on the day and looked pretty. They entertained/played with my cat while I was getting ready. My sister helped me into my dress and looked after my face powder. that's it, I feel cheated now. Next time I get married I will demand more.

Only my sister was old enough to drink but she lives 200 miles away with three children so I didn't even invite her onto my hen night, that I arranged.

only been a bridesmaid once for my sister I think I may have helped her to the loo [with her big train] and I signed the register I think I may even have done a reading in church [it was a big catholic do!] other than that I smiled prettily for the photos and got pissed!

lol that's what my bridesmaids did (well I assume the 14yo didn't get drunk)
But I suppose it depends on what kind of wedding it is, what the arrangements are, and how much support the bride has in general.
At best, they can just be guests who follow you down the aisle.

The fabulous vicar who married me and my DH took great pleasure at the rehearsal in informing my chief bridesmaid her main duty was to sleep in the same bed as me the night before the wedding, and offer herself up to the devil when he came to have his wicked way with me.

As I've said before, my bridesmaids main job was to roll the pre ceremony spliff because me fake nails stopped me from doing so.

My job as chief bridesmad involved getting her a bit drunk the night before and making sure the pre-wedding getting ready all went ok. Once I had stalked down the aisle my job was done, apart from photos and holding said brides dress up while she had a wee that was it.

Both my bridesmaids were pissed by 6pm. One of them was my born-again christian sister

Oh yes, I did organise the hen night with the other bridesmaid, and did some ferrying about the day before with the dress and stuff.

People who've asked me to be bridesmaid know what they're getting.

-Someone who'll get them pissed
-Someone who doesn't care too much what they're asked to wear
-Someone who will listen to wedding plans and say 'Mmmmm hmmmmm'
-Spend one day helping choose bridal gown
-Help organise hen
-Keep them calm on the wedding morning

That.is.it.

My friend is being a bridesmaid for another friend. She said it's basically like taking on an SAS mission. Her duties thus far include:

-Getting masks made up for the hen night, of the bride and groom's faces

-Messaging all of the "hens" and telling them they are all to wear black on the hen night.

-Attending fortnightly "bridesmaids meetings" at the bride's house, 45 miles from her home.

-Finding a pair of heeled shoes for each bridesmaid that will not make any one bridesmaid taller than the other, so that photos look uniform.

Oh yes.

Fortnightly bridesmaids meetings? I met my fellow adult bridesmaid on the hen night and not again til the day.

I went to a (fun and relaxed wedding) where the bridesmaid escorted the happy couple up the aisle, held the bouquet in the service, sang (very well) during the ceremony, dashed across to sign the register as a witness, marshalled everyone to the reception and made a speech too.

now that's what I call value for money.

fortnightly bridesmaid's meetings?! It's a wedding not an invasion of a small nation.

My bridesmaids were utter stars, helped me decorate the venue beforehand and were essential (more so than the ushers tbh) in making the day run smoothly. Beforehand though they came to one meeting with the dressmaker and that's about it. I don't get what there is to talk about once a fortnight for a year.

Why do people speak of walking down the aisle? The aisle is the bit off to the side, the bit in the middle that you walk down is the nave.

Just saying.

I thought a bridesmaid's main duty was to cop off with the best man at the reception. Or is that just me?

I was a bridesmaid a couple of years ago and I copped off with the best man and went back to his room with him.

But the best man was my DH so it's not as exciting as it sounds.