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Original poster

To think that 'bridesmaid duties' should be no more that turning up, wearing a dress and getting pissed

92 replies

LeGavrOrf · 01/07/2013 21:34

Reading the thread about the country wedding.

Lots of comments that bridesmaids have to conduct duties for the bride all day, serious role and all that.

I have only been a bridesmaid once, I just turned up, had my hair done, went to the wedding, had some photos and then partied like everyone else.

Was I a spectacularly crap bridesmaid for not playing lady in waiting to the bride all day?

OP posts:
Original poster
LeGavrOrf · 01/07/2013 21:47

Grin Craic

Bloody hell some people are mad about their weddings. Nobody cares apart from the bride and groom, as artex said on the other thread.

OP posts:
Trills · 01/07/2013 21:48

Isn't the bed made already? By the hotel?

MmeLindor · 01/07/2013 21:53

That thread is nutty. Week long stag dos Shock and £30k weddings.

I have a lovely pic of my bridesmaids doing up the hundreds of covered buttons on my dress - from nape of neck to tailbone and from wrist to elbows, while my chief bridesmaid crawled under the dress to fluff up the layers.

Annunziata · 01/07/2013 21:54

You didn't get to go to a hotel in ma's day, trills, she's 86!

themonsteratemyspacebar · 01/07/2013 21:55

Been bridesmaid to my 2 best friends weddings in 2 years. Both times all we done was get a garter, go wedding dress shopping, tat for the hen nights and that was it! They arranged their hen nights and just told me when and where to turn up Grin

gillywillywoo · 01/07/2013 21:57

I'm being a bridesmaid (one of five) in October.

Don't think I have any duties... Just gonna wear the dress (which I love), get my hair done all naaaaice and look as pretty as possible!

Walk down the aisle.. Smile... Then have some food, drink and dance!

Oh, I am doing the brides makeup.. She only trusts me with her makeup and that's been the case since we were 16!

Hen "day" in September consists of a spa and then food and drinks in the evening.

What else do I have to do?!

littlewhitebag · 01/07/2013 22:00

My bridesmaid's job was to get me home from the hen do safely. It was a massive fail. We walked home through a park, in our bare feet, due to our shoes hurting and no taxi's. Our feet were bloodied and bruised for the big day and i almost considered wearing my slippers. Dozy mare - she should have carried me home!! I bought her a lovely pink nylon frock and everything.

Wallison · 01/07/2013 22:01

I don't think that what bridesmaids are supposed to do was actually set out in the other thread. There was just a lot of mysterious and ominous talk about 'duties' and how they were incompatible with having a child there.

AKissIsNotAContract · 01/07/2013 22:02

That's all I expect from mine. That and holding my dress up for me while I have a piss

thebody · 01/07/2013 22:04

3 day wedding and 2 hens/ 2 stags.. £3000... Still can't get over that.

Fuckin mental thread.

cece · 01/07/2013 22:07

My bridesmaids ;

attended hen do.
helped to choose their own dress
had their hair done and looked lovely on the day
helped me to get dressed in the morning
one of them carried my bag with lippy in and also wore my engagement ring for the service
helped with toileting especially once I was a bit squiffy
posed for photos
got drunk

What else is there to do??

I did also have an usher who was the last person to turn up and was most upset that people had seated themselves without her guidance!

LRDLearningDomHome · 01/07/2013 22:08

I've just seen thebody's post.

Grin
Jan49 · 01/07/2013 22:12

I think the bridesmaids' job is mainly to be there, wear a particular dress and be in the photographs. Getting pissed optional. I was bridesmaid as a child and I think we got fitted for dresses, wore them, got driven to the church, walked behind the bride and stood in the photos.

But in the thread about the country wedding it sounded like the child was going to stay with the parents so I'd expect the parents and B & G to discuss where he'd be. I mean, if there's an aisle, is he going to walk up with the bride and bridesmaids? Is he going to be standing by his parents next to the B & G during the ceremony potentially interrupting it? IMO they need an arrangement for the dc to be looked after by another guest just for the ceremony and photos. If it's the B & G's child that interrupts, it's probably cute but anyone else's would be very annoying.

iamadoozermum · 01/07/2013 22:14

Obviously, we're just not taking this bridesmaid thing seriously enough. Mine chose their own dresses, met me at the church, looked pretty for photos, sat at top table, then spent the reception with their families. However, according to this website www.thechiefbridesmaid.co.uk/content/The_Chief_Bridesmaid_-_duties,_role_and_responsibilities I certainly didn't work my sister hard enough and so will be having words and a big stroppy fall out 12 years after the wedding

piprabbit · 01/07/2013 22:16

My 9yo DD successfully fulfilled all her duties as sole BM at a recent wedding. I'm Confused that people seem able to make such a meal out of it.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 01/07/2013 22:19

I posted on that thread that surely all the bridesmaid does is show up at the church dressed and ready and walk down the aisle behind the bride? Plus being in the photos. Mine came round in the morning and got dressed at my house and we did our make-up together, but it wouldn't have been a problem at all if she hadn't done, I am perfectly capable of doing my own hair, make-up and putting a dress on. Also perfectly capable of going to the loo on my own, even when pissed.

Alconleigh · 01/07/2013 22:25

I did once spend about 7 hours washing salad the day before the wedding once as a bridesmaid, as the reception was at the bride's parents' house and we prepped the food to go with the hog roast. On the day I think I did one hold-up-of-dress-for-bride-to-pee, then nothing more onerous than getting properly pissed.

WilsonFrickett · 01/07/2013 22:32

I did have to go to the bridal frock shop to learn how to do the corset. And obvs holding up the frock for the toilet.

Oh, and telling her to sit the fuck down because the stroppy cah in charge of the food service wouldnt serve the dinner until she was in her place even though she was having a mini panic attack and felt better walking around. I was hungry though

LondonInHighHeeledBoots · 01/07/2013 22:39

I am firmly of the opinion that bridesmaids show up, get dressed, smile and have fun. They may, if necessary, be dispatched to remove a relative pf theirs who may be causing a scene but bar that, there is a free bar, DH2B's brother and cousins get hilariously nervous in the presence of girls, go have a ball.

I am having trouble convincing my bridesmaids of this, they keep trying to bloody do stuff, which while nice, I'm already doing and its not that I don't trust them, just that I will do it the way I want not the way they want.

MooncupGoddess · 01/07/2013 22:42

When I was a bridesmaid I helped organised the hen do (to the bride's specifications) and went to a rehearsal dinner the week before. On the day itself I went round to the bride's house beforehand and helped with last-minute running around and decorating the bridal car. I think I had to hold some flowers during the ceremony but after that I just got drunk and enjoyed the attention. It was excellent.

I am a best woman in a few weeks and there my duties will consist of baking a wedding (or rather civil partnership) pie and making a speech. Occasionally I express interest in what the brides are wearing and then immediately forget what they've told me. All good fun and I don't feel remotely put upon... but fortunately my friends are lovely.

OwlinaTree · 01/07/2013 23:05

Clicked on lamadoozer's link - i've never been asked to make a toast. I've done the other stuff, think the website over-eggs make sure she looks nice and is calm really.

But a toast!! surely bridesmaid is non-speaking role!

GoodMorningMoon · 01/07/2013 23:19

I always thought that's what they were expected to do. However, I've never bern a bridesmaid. And, given that I expect those would be my only duties, I imagine I never will be. Shame...

happygirl87 · 01/07/2013 23:30

Don't want to out myself she says but at my worst bridesmaid experience the bride would yell "BRIDESMAAAAID" whenever she wanted help and we were supposed to go running. My duties included- dress shopping (fair enough), planning hen party games and food, bringing penis shaped novelty items to hen (as was only non religious person on hen do), explaining wedding night to bride in advance (yes really), joining prayer circle for bride and groom the night before the wedding, and then spending the day itself running back and forth to brides room as she yelled for an earring back/hand with her zip/piece of toast. Tbh, am sure I would have minded less if it was someone I got on with better, but we didn't have much in common and to this day am not sure why she picked me!

Startail · 01/07/2013 23:31

My then 11y DD says bridesmaids duties consisted of leave boring parents, grandparents and elderly relatives at hotel.
Go to brides Dad's with bride and sister (other bridesmaid) eat pizza, watch Olympic opening ceremony and generally be treated like your 14.

Get up and have your hair and make up done so your mum scarcely recognises you as you walk in to church.

She looked stunning, about 15 if she'd had curves, but beautiful non the less and she'd had an absolute ball.

She's not even brides family (the groom was my cousin) and the big sisters spoilt her totally.

Oldraver · 02/07/2013 00:13

I think thats all (adult) bridesmaids should have to do, I have only been a child bridesmaid so I think getting drunk tto much

My bridesmaid was spectacularily crap..she sulked all the evening before while we were busy as Mum did the food and I did the buttonholes as my florist frin=end did our flowers... Mum nr=early didnt get her fish and chips as she said she didnt deserve them. she then moaned on the day about her make-up, done professionally....and we only got her to smile on one photo..had to reject loads as she was scowling