To want to kill my colleague

[MTBMummy]

I know this is really petty, but it's really bugging me

I struggle occasionally with keeping on top of my admin, so bought some stationary to help me prioritise and mark off my list of things to do, one of the items was a pack of new coloured pens - quite expensive ones at that.

Anyway colleague asked on Friday if I had a pen he could borrow to help with similar tasks and I offered him one of mine, and asked him to just pop it back on my desk when he was done.

So this morning, I notice he's still using it, and has chewed not only the end and the cap but the entire length of the pen too - I know I am being precious but it really annoys me. I definitely don't want this pen back, but but I look like a total freak if I ask him to replace it?

He knows it's not just a pen, or he wouldn't have been so keen to borrow it? And he clearly has no manners.

(A StationER sells stationERy)

He's back, and he's lost it!!!

He just went to grab another of my pens, and told him he was welcome to help himself from the stationery cupboard or purchase his own, and he could replace mine at the same time. Response "It's just a pen"

I hate the, it's just a responses you can get.

Reply, well if it's just a pen you won't mind replacing it then will you? Off you go - the door is that way!

Never actually used that on a work colleague but it has worked when some bastard ate my creme egg in the pub. Twat!

oh and I was taught StaionEry for Envelopes!

Kill him. Kill him by forcing him to eat the entire contents of his stationery drawers. Take body and hide it in the stationery cupboard. Bury said cupboard in a pit of concrete.
PM me if you need help.

Bastard pen murderer!

quote

This is just heartbreaking - one of the saddest and most traumatic posts I have read on mumsnet in many a year! I love nice stationery and I become very stabby indeed when the dses 'borrow' my stationery - but borrowing it, chewing it and then LOSING it? The man is a Philistine and I will gladly join the assassination/burial squad!

What sort of pen was it, MTBMummy? Maybe one of us has a spare, and can send it to you.

No punishment is severe enough for this man. We will have revenge.

On a more serious note, I think he was ashamed of chewing it so has said he lost it. So he's a a liar as well as a stationery murderer. This man is a dangerous psychopath, beware op.

I feel your pain. I would be very upset too. Some people have no appreciation for naice stationery.

Ask for it back and see his reaction.

Take an important item of stationery of his - a stapler perhaps - as a hostage. For every day he doesn't replace your pen leave a bit of your hostage on his desk. A screw, a bit of plastic casing. Write a random note if you will (make sure to use cheap blotchy pen to highlight your need/despair)

oh please kill him op... if you dont im sure one of us will happily do it! rude bugger!

dh is forever losing my pens... i now have a special secret hiding place for my nice stuff

*randsom not random!

Oh I would be livid I love new pens!!

What a rude bastard?! Tell me you wrestled the second pen out of his hand!!

I buy myself nice pencils, and separate pencil top erasers from WHS, for doing the word puzzle and killer sudoku in the Times each day. I have to hide these otherwise the boys steal them. And ds2 stole a whole pack of gel pens I had bought for myself - and he wasn't even sorry!

well at least he didn't give it back to you after chewing, and then let you discover the dribble of his spit leaking out of the end when you try to write I'm looking at you dh

If you shove a cheap pen up his arse, I bet he would remember to leave your expensive ones alone.

I am sorry for your loss OP.

And I am grateful that most people have been educated which thing is made of paper and which is motionless. I was, however, disappointed to note that there is someone who keeps her stationery [good] in a draw [Aaargh! Aargh! No you don't! It's a drawer! A DRAWER!!].

shuffles off to Pedants' Corner

It's just a pen!

I'm sorry but I have zero sympathy.

List of things you just don't do:

1. Put head in lion's mouth.

1. Walk across the M25 with your eyes closed.

1. Lend you pen to a known pen-chewer.

This one was a Rotring, a brand I got very protective of as a kid, my dad would only let me use his for extremely important projects in my final year at school - hmmm think I know where I developed my obsessive pen behaviour.

I do have an even more important collection that is hidden at home a DP cannot be trusted with naice pens either.

In my defence, he's a new colleague so not a known pen chewer, but his card is now marked.

I didn't slap the pen out his hand, I didn't give him a chance to get his mits on my other babies pens I did slap my hand down on my pens in a protective manner, he probably thinks I'm the office loon, but maybe that'll make him stay away from my pens.

Thank you all for your words of support on what has been a very upsetting day

Ugh, ugh, ugh, I cannot abide chewed pens. It's strange how'it's just a pen', when he wasn't the one who bought it. And about to help himself to another! Sorry for your loss OP, , I love nice stationery, though I keep mine selfishly at home.

not a Rotring Ballpoint I hope

How feckin' rude

I would use the "Just a pen? Then you won't mind replacing it will you?" response as mentioned above.

I don't care how petty I'd look, I'd be livid.

I'd also be reconsidering chewing then losing his laptop now too

I would get some Naga Viper pepper and rub the ends of a couple of pens in it,

and leave on desk with a warning saying, "do not use"

Very shocked you would lend a Rotring to someone so irresponsible .

I said he would say "It's just a pen" didn't I? Kindly refer to my post at 14:02:41 and send me a prize of a posh pen. I promise not to chew it.