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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to kill my colleague

100 replies

MTBMummy · 01/07/2013 13:11

I know this is really petty, but it's really bugging me

I struggle occasionally with keeping on top of my admin, so bought some stationary to help me prioritise and mark off my list of things to do, one of the items was a pack of new coloured pens - quite expensive ones at that.

Anyway colleague asked on Friday if I had a pen he could borrow to help with similar tasks and I offered him one of mine, and asked him to just pop it back on my desk when he was done.

So this morning, I notice he's still using it, and has chewed not only the end and the cap but the entire length of the pen too - I know I am being precious but it really annoys me. I definitely don't want this pen back, but but I look like a total freak if I ask him to replace it?

OP posts:
WillYouDoTheFandango · 01/07/2013 14:19

If he'd just kept it YWBU, keeping it and chewing not only the end but the full length of the pen is definitely taking the piss. You need to come up with a good cheesy stationery-related death. Buried alive under reams of paper, protractor to the eye, drowned in a vat of ink, you get the idea.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 01/07/2013 14:23

TBH, if you spent less time buying and worrying about your stationery, and more time doing your admin, you might not need the pens in the first place... Grin

ChasedByBees · 01/07/2013 14:23

Ooh I also buy my own pens rather than use a crappy biro. I would be cross. Make him squirm! then kill him

worsestershiresauce · 01/07/2013 14:24

becscertainstar your post made be properly guffaw. I didn't even know I could guffaw... Grin

becscertainstar · 01/07/2013 14:38

Grin Glad to have unleashed your inaugural guffaw worsestershiresauce

(but I was quite serious about the sandwich)

Grin
Original poster
MTBMummy · 01/07/2013 14:42

Sorry - I did wonder about the spelling Blush

I'm amazed by the number of supporters for the protection of naice stationery (SPoNS - new political group?)

WillYouDoTheFandango I love your suggestion

saggy i can assure you all purchases were made on my own time Smile

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 01/07/2013 14:46

I bet he'll just hand it back and won't think about the fact that he's chewed it up.

SauvignonBlanche · 01/07/2013 14:49

YANBU, kill the bastard!

HeffalumpTheFlump · 01/07/2013 15:00

Have you asked for it back yet op?? I would be so Angry that I would not be on here asking for advice, I would be somehow putting his body in the office shredder.

You have every right to scream at him 'DON'T TOUCH MY NAICE PENS!!' and climb on the desk to protect them if he ever so much as looks at them in the future.

Original poster
MTBMummy · 01/07/2013 15:05

He's not been back to his desk, and he's taken my pen with him (sobs)

although just spotted his watch on his desk, maybe I should start wearing it?

OP posts:
becscertainstar · 01/07/2013 15:11

Nah, don't wear it, just gnaw on the strap with lots of slather, like a puppy. When he comes back to his desk, keep it dangling from your mouth as you look up at him. 'Wha? Whassaproblem?' (said through a mouthful of strap)

Perhaps he's taken the pen to the toilet with him - people who bite other people's pens are capable of anything.

WillYouDoTheFandango · 01/07/2013 15:19

I love the idea of The Pen Chewer returning to his desk to find a feral MTB crouched on her desk surrounded by her pens friends and chewing his watch. Is this you OP?

Original poster
MTBMummy · 01/07/2013 15:23

fandango Damn outed on MumsNet Grin

urhg - just urgh at the thought of him taking it to the loo, I may need a moment to mourn my loss

OP posts:
HeffalumpTheFlump · 01/07/2013 15:23

I personally think picking food out of your teeth with the pointy bit of the watch buckle would be a more appropriate use? Wearing it just doesn't seem gross enough!!

MarinaIvy · 01/07/2013 15:24

I learned it as:

"stationery with an E because there's two Es in "letter"
"staionary with an A because you're At one plAce"

Well, it worked for me...

BombayBadonkadonks · 01/07/2013 15:28

You could chop him up and then file the pieces in archive boxes marked confidential.

I have naice pens too and he gets all he deserves!

cackles

MarinaIvy · 01/07/2013 15:29

But I dig. I had almost that same thing happen years ago. Toothmarks all over and she denied chewing the pen. WHILE SHE WAS HOLDING THE PEN IN HER MOUTH! Words fail me.

Here's a thought - did he go away to the meeting with your pen and his screen unlocked and unpassword-protected? You knw what to do...

Original poster
MTBMummy · 01/07/2013 16:19

He's back, and he's lost it!!!

He just went to grab another of my pens, and told him he was welcome to help himself from the stationery cupboard or purchase his own, and he could replace mine at the same time. Response "It's just a pen"

Sob!

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 01/07/2013 16:22

Cheeky bastard. You'll have to lock them away.

Trills · 01/07/2013 16:24

Chewed? Yuck!

That's all.

Trills · 01/07/2013 16:24

I have a special mug at work. I have made it pretty clear that I am unreasonable about my mug.

vintagecakeisstillnice · 01/07/2013 16:24

KILL HIM!!!

becscertainstar · 01/07/2013 16:26

"It's just a pen" Shock

"To you sir, it may be a pen. To me, it represented my hopes and dreams. A world where admin is colour-coded. Where efficiency comes in shiny new packaging. That pen, sir, was my future. It represented my aspirations for a more organised working life. And you, you chewed it up, peed on it and then LOST IT!!! I demand satisfaction. If you don't have all of my admin finished by the end of the day I shall take something of yours, chew on it, pee on it and then lose it, leaving it mangled and dripping in some god-forsaken conference room."

I've never said this on MN before, but really there's only one thing to do. LTB.

(as mentioned upthread, I work from home, alone. It's best for everyone.)

RoooneyMara · 01/07/2013 16:40

I'm sure there is a name for people who do this.

You know, ask to borrow your most precious stationery/jewellery/car and then they wreck it, and then when you confront them they say 'It's just a pen/necklace/car'.

They KNOW you loved it

that's why they took it to start with

He is sinister OP. Very sinister and not a nice man.

quoteunquote · 01/07/2013 16:47

I had to call someone into my office this morning and bollockexplain to them about my* stationary being when I put it, and I explained that it was their last warning and everything missing must be replaced by end of play today, he is in staples now.

I cannot waste time relocating items, my office is off limits to all, I would shoot on sight but apparently that is wrong and bad.

*DH