To get annoyed when other women say "I'm not a feminist"

[Nickabilla]

As if it's a dirty word and a shameful thing to be? I hear it every now and then and always question it. Someone said it today and I'm annoyed again.

Do some women not realise that women didn't used to be allowed to go to university, get divorced, own property or vote?

Rant over.

I'm interested in the idea of how women and men being equal makes men weaker?

I thinks it's commonly thought equality means being exactly the same as, which isn't true. There's a really good picture which explains it really well, will see if I can find it.

That's one quote from someone unnamed you've found to prove what? That women aren't going to nuture their boys? It's just not true. That is not a message that's ever reached me in my near constant reading of feminist literature.

Actual real girl babies, however, are being aborted in their millions.

PromQueen - I don't see patriarchy, I see matriarchy if anything, society is geared up to protect and cosset women. I know I have a good chance of having custody of my boys should DH and I split. I know I could shag some bloke, break DH's heart and then keep the kids and fleece DH financially for the privilege. I'm pretty confident that if I was attacked in a public place, decent men would come to my defence.

I don't have the expectation that I need to be the main bread earner, I can go part-time and no-one will bat an eyelid. The fact that I prioritize family over work is totally accepted. I can chill, nobody cares. If I don't work at all, that's OK. If I was a youngster again, I can expect to do well in school and be one of the majority of women who go on to uni..I know that if I dislike a flirty comment made to me at work, I can complain and will be taken seriously. I know I can take time off from work if I have a baby, up to a year if I like. I'm onto a good gig, no?

I have always thought it better to be a woman, Sigmund- I worked that out aged about 5yrs and brought up with brothers- it was far easier for me for many of the things you list.

'I bet you're quite offended to have these lobbed at you as evidence of how "men" behave. But I'm not saying that, I'm saying some very nasty men made those images. Again, what does that prove, any more than the examples you found proves what feminists think?'

Of course those images are offensive, but that's the whole point, I find them offensive as well as finding the feminist quotations offensive. Feminists will defend those horrible quotations, try to explain it away. It's not the same. I KNOW that some men do evil things, I would never say 'Oh well, they didn't mean it'!

'Actual real girl babies, however, are being aborted in their millions'.

Actual real babies of both sexes are aborted in their many millions, a staggering amount, over the years in the West. Your point? It's worse if you know the sex? really? China will pay the price for it's stupidity anyway.

There are extreme views every where, especially in these days of the Internet search. But telling me, a feminist, that other feminists expect me to 'not nurture' my boy - I'm sorry, you are the first person to have expressed that view to me Sigmund.

Promqueen addressed your other points eloquently so I won't repeat, apart from to say it is sexist to assume that as a woman you are best placed to look after your children. But that sexism doesn't come from feminism. It comes from patriarchal expectations and the amount of involvement men have in childcare.

I know I can take time off from work if I have a baby, up to a year if I like.

Only because of hard-won anti-discrimination legislation. Women fought for your maternity rights.

'Well sigmund we really do see the world in a different way. What sort of changes do you feel are necessary to dismantle the matriarchy and liberate men? How would equality be different from the sort of thing that I would like to see?'

What would you like to see? Then I'll tell you how to dismantle the matriarchy.

'Women fought for your maternity rights.'

I didn't say I agreed with it! But a lot of women do.

'But telling me, a feminist, that other feminists expect me to 'not nurture' my boy - I'm sorry, you are the first person to have expressed that view to me Sigmund'

It's not my view, it's the view of a contributor from the now defunct RadfemHub.

A more generally accepted feminist principle is that the patriarchy hurts boys and men too. Why should my son work full time and never see his kids.* Why should the mother of said kids be the primary carer? Etc etc. feminism is good for everyone, IMO.

*he is only 7, I am projecting...

Do you not agree with maternity rights sigmund?

PromQueen - the context for the comments are that they were responses to an article posted on Radfemhub. There are screen-grabs that I can locate, but not tonight as I'm knackered now. It is my belief, and I may be wrong (I don't think so though, knowing about who some of the commentators are), that it is not satirical. They were just a few of many, many responses on the blog.

I don't think looking after your children is disdained. In fact, a lot of people are critical of working mother's.

That'll do for starters, promqueen.

'Why should my son work full time and never see his kids'

But what if that's what he wants? And he's made to share 50-50? Who's that good for?