About popper-inners at my house?

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Unannounced guests. Drop-ins. Surprise visitors.

I just don't like it, never have, never will. My mum knows this. I don't make exceptions for close friends or family. I appreciate a phonecall to let me know of a planned visit, even if it's an hour before. As long as I know you're coming, that's fine.

So my mother drops in unannounced today. I heard the door knocking but was hanging my wet washing out. I decided to ignore as I was still in PJs and wasn't expecting anyone. Instead of leaving, she hammered on the door, then went down the passage at the side of my house and called over my garden wall. She could see me hanging washing out so I had to go and answer. I went to the front door to let her in and she could tell I was pissed off. She said "Sorry about dropping in unannounced, I know you haite it." I said "I do, but it doesn't seem to bother you!" Then she looked really hurt and said "Oh I'll go then" I'm hardly going to let her go after a 30 minute drive over...

I will accept that I have got PMT so am probably a bit grouchy. AIBU though, to not like unannounced visitors? It seems to be a habit on my mum's side of the fam that just "popping in" without warning is fair game and if it is not appreciated, it is the problem of the visitee.

[Lavenderloves]

Not a fan.
Dh family are poppers, took a while to stop them popping in.

They couldn't quite grasp that i didn't want them turning up unannounced. Obviously you can't say i can't be arsed dealing with you/ waiting on you / i don't want your company / i want to be alone / don't look through the windows/ don't let youself in.

We had tears and temper tantrums that i wouldn't allow them to pop in whenever THEY wanted. They couldn't quite get it, " well tell us if it's not convenient"
I even did the answering the door in my coat saying i was going out. They announced they were arriving and walked past me into my own home!!!

Fucking rude. They don't pop me now. they hate me, but i'm happy

[ExcuseTypos]

"Does anyone else notice the pooper inners hate being popped into?"

Yes!!

My MIL 'pops over'. (She has to drive for 45 minutes, so why the heck she can't phone just before she leaves, is beyond me.) She then moans massively about her Sister, who 'drops in' on her unannounced and tells me how inconvenient it is as she was just in the middle of something.

I have to bite my tongue till it bleeds!

[NotAQueef]

Totally with you on this one.
Dp's family often do this, and after years of being independent from family in London, living close to his is a big change.

The most example was last year, me and dp and ds were taking an afternoon nap on a sunday (rock and roll) and i woke up to knocking at the door. I ignored it, it went in for ages, but I assumed they would go away.

I then heard the side door to garage being opened and someone trying to get in the house via back door - luckily it was locked. I fell back to sleep and woke up 30 mins later and could hear noise in the garden.

Looked sneakily out of the window and saw dp's dgm planting some flowers in our garden!! Wtf?

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Queef?! WTAF?!

I would have rang the non-emergency police and said "I think someone is trying to break into my house"

AlexReid, the name has been decided on. Have I told you?

[Horsemad]

Pop in visitors? No! no! no!

[melika]

Hate it too.YANBU.

[ExcuseTypos]

That sounds awful Not and it reminds me of the first time MIL 'popped in' just as I was dying my hair. (id only been married about 6 months) I was so annoyed and flummoxed that I forgot how long I'd had the stuff on my head for.
I just had to guess and when I washed it off it was ORANGE as I hadn't left in on long enough.

[FryOneFatManic]

youarewinning Sun 30-Jun-13 20:36:07
Does anyone else notice the pooper inners hate being popped into?

Poopers?

[AlexReidsLonelyBraincell]

Noooooooo I missed it, please tell. Bet it's gawjuzz!

[NotAQueef]

I make sure that the side entrance is locked at all times now. I also live with the curtains closed so i can hide in the front room.

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

DPiL are inveterate poppers-in - we live further away now so dont fall victim to this. However they love this for themselves as well. This means that they are impossible to pin down. Arrange to call in then get there and find them out or find some other popper-in is being treated to tea and biscuits which means there isnt room for us and all the best biscuits are gone.

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

Latoyah Montella Jordaine Rose.

I like how they slip a Victorian lady's name on at the end

[AlexReidsLonelyBraincell]

Actually I may have been lurking around for that thread, unless there are two Latoyah Montella Jordaine Rose babies in existence?!

It is a smashing name, very unique, rolls easily off the tongue. Latoyah is severely underused IMO.
I take it cuz prefers old Montell to Jezza? And Jordaine, it's like Jardin or Jordan, but with that Je ne sais quois that the likes of Katie Price lacks.

Rose is lovely, I can say that honestly.

How on earth are you going to keep a straight face?

.

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

StarfishEnterprise - I did once catch DMiL bent double peering in through the letterbox because I hadnt answered the door quickly enough. She was treated to hearing me saying 'F-OFF' possibly quite loudly!

The reason given for not having phoned first was that they didnt want to disturb me(?). Apparently answering the front door and entertaining them with tea & coffee was less disturbing than phoning first and being put off for an hour while DGC slept (I was on ML).

[LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops]

YANBU

[candyandyoga]

She's your mum! Unclench a bit!

[ChewingOnLifesGristle]

My mil likes to combine her popping in with a carefree jaunt and to tell me all about her carefree jaunt/lunch/shopping expedition/stroll along the prom in detail.

I think her knowing I'm standing there bedraggled and knee deep in a non carefree life must add to the frisson of the popping-in experience for her.

[Scarletlips]

Sorry I know this is a bit off-topic but does anyone have this problem with neighbour's kids. They arrive up as soon as they see our car parking in the drive! It's so irritating

[dontgowadingin]

I HATE IT!!! Dh family just walked in shouting "hello" . So I took to locking the door.

My family know not to just drop in bit ring in advance. I like to walk around in my under ware when getting ready and should be able to! It's not a public house !

I am getting better though and so are they, they still rock up but open door and shout instead of just walking in.... Small step and all that!

[Needtostopbuyingcrap]

My MIL turns up 5 minutes after i arrive from work. It gets me down
I didn't answer one day so she told DH that i left her out in the cold. It caused a row.

[mercury7]

If anyone shows up at mine without prior notice I pretend to be out...not hard because I live in a flat high up and on my own with no car.

Pretty much everyone I know would call or text first

[lisianthus]

Also not a fan.

Particularly of the sort of popper-inner who breezes in and, when you are uncomfortable because you haven't had a chance to tidy up, says something like "It's hard to keep your place tidy when you have kids, isn't it? Don't worry, I don't mind the mess" (thinking she is being all sympathetic and tolerant of me)

I MIND THE MESS! it's just another proof that they think everything is all about them.

[WorrySighWorrySigh]

Scarletlips - I remember (many years ago now), neighbour kids could not get the concept of a longish Sunday dinner. We would call DCs in to wash & set table. 5 minutes later doorbell rings to see if they have finished yet. The news that they hadnt even sat down yet was greeted with incredulity. This would then be repeated every 5 minutes throughout the hour or so that Sunday dinner took.

I can only assume their dinner was slapped down in front of them the second they were at the table, wolfed down then off again.