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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel saddened about " breast feeding covers

378 replies

Theas18 · 30/06/2013 12:43

lady on the next table in the cafe I'm in ifs beat feeding a lovely month or so old baby under a huge bib.

maybe she feels " happier about it" and all that but really. What do you see for a happily breastfeeding b baby-the back of a sweet little head? no big deal and very normal.

Why are we ( society) doing this to mums and babies. surely a 6 month old won't tolerate it anyway, so I guess they give up then :(

OP posts:
Thisisaeuphemism · 30/06/2013 19:50

Aw starving piglets oinking - its almost enough to make me broody..

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo · 30/06/2013 19:50

yes poppy, most women with less than perfect bodies hide them. however how many hair fat man have you seen happy to take their shirts off in public? women and men have very different standards to live up to

plummyjam · 30/06/2013 19:51

She might not be embarrassed of her boobs, or feeding her baby, she just might not want people like the OP gawping at her whilst she's having a drink and a sit down.

I think most people like to look at BFing women not because they're disgusted or pervy but simply because they're curious or because they think it's a lovely thing to watch. Plus you don't see it very often so it draws attention. When was the last time you saw someone breastfeeding on TV for example?

I'd feel pretty self conscious if people watched me whilst I was having a drink in a cafe for any reason let alone BFing.

Perhaps though that curiosity is because breastfeeding is not as mainstream as it should be which is what I find sad, not the fact that somebody chooses to use a cover.

MummyOfSunbeam · 30/06/2013 19:53

Yanbu - you aren't criticising her, you are saying you are saddened that this culture is so unsympathetic to bf that ppl feel it necessary.

I use a scarf if I want to conceal nipples on latch - those bib things are much more noticeable than a scarf anyway!

MoominsYonisAreScary · 30/06/2013 19:53

Ds4 sounds more like an animal on the hunt

maternitart · 30/06/2013 19:54

Dear minifingers

Of everyone on this thread it seems YOU are the one desperate to misinterpret the posts of others.

Why are you ignoring the many posts saying people are using covers and NOT because they're self conscious?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 30/06/2013 19:56

Those covers are really really ugly, though.

vacantStation · 30/06/2013 19:58

I don't thin op is slating. I feel a bit sad too that we have to be shy and discreet. I dont want to feel i have to cover up my babies head when feeding in public

badguider · 30/06/2013 19:58

The only time I've seen one in use was in a national park in the us when it was cold and drizzly - it seemed a pretty good idea to me, I wouldn't have fancied exposing any flesh in those temperatures and its very often a bit chilly in this country for exposing parts of torso (breast or other).

MoominsYonisAreScary · 30/06/2013 20:01

I don't actually wear covers, I wear a vest top under my top. Vest top goes down under boobs other top comes up. Lots of people have said to me that they struggled to do that and fed at home or in toilets as they found it easier to have their boob totally out. Maybe covers are a good thing? Less people feeding at home and in toilets, more people out bf in public. Even if it is under a cover.

SchrodingersFanny · 30/06/2013 20:04

I'm a secondary school teacher and I live in catchmemt area. I used one with my dd and think I might have fed ds longer if I'd had one for him. I once exposed both breats in a cafe, in an awful, flustering incident. I do not want my pupils seeing my breasts.

chickenliversfortea · 30/06/2013 20:28

SchrodingersFanny because you wouldn't want any of the girls to see someone they respect modelling good mothering?
perhaps they think your enlarged breast are implants -is that a better image for a teacher then.

MummyOfSunbeam · 30/06/2013 20:32

Good point Moomin - at least she feels confident bf that way and is definitely visible as a bf-er! So maybe helps others realise it is a normal thing to do

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 30/06/2013 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/06/2013 20:33

chicken

Why so rude?

mrsjay · 30/06/2013 20:34

SchrodingersFanny because you wouldn't want any of the girls to see someone they respect modelling good mothering?
perhaps they think your enlarged breast are implants -is that a better image for a teacher then

no because she does not want kids to say OIY MISS I SAW YOUR BOOBIES|
be realistic we do not all live in a fluffy world of breastfeeding eutopia and not all children have seen BF and a sight of a nipple would send a kid into hysterics especially a teenager, she is a woman and a mother first she deserves a bit of privacy,

chickenliversfortea · 30/06/2013 20:46

We don't live in a world of breast feeding utopia because social conditioning means we have chosen not to. It's not because breastfeeding is actually embarrassing. How we see breasts has changed massively in my lifetime.

Why can men get their knobs out in front of each other but women are aghast at seeing anothers nipple. All in the mind.

I think a lot of it is quite racist actually. Lots of poor black women with children hanging of their breasts (see the pictures on google). We are so much more dignified here in the UK...

And I'm rude because quite frankly those huge blanket things are just appalling. I have no idea how we have come to this, a shirt and well designed bra was cutting edge in my day. And if you think a blanket will encourage a working class mother to breastfeed then you want your head examined.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 30/06/2013 20:48

I do know people who ff under a blanket, this thread reminded me.
Both did it because their babies fed better and with less fuss

Shootingstar79 · 30/06/2013 20:50

Why do you think they are appalling, I don't understand? My baby was the most distracted little girl in the word and everything was more exciting than feeding. The cover meant I could feed her in public with minimal distractions because she couldn't see anything else and it was nice and dark. Anything that helped me to be able to leave the house when breastfeeding was a godsend to me! Really don't understand why you think that they are so awful?

soverylucky · 30/06/2013 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/06/2013 20:55

chicken

Ah that's ok then Hmm

As you were.

intheshed · 30/06/2013 20:56

What worries me is the covers seem to be a new trend that is catching on- when I had DD1 5 years ago I just fed her in public by pulling up my top. Same with DD2 3 years ago. I used to hang out with other new mums in coffee shops and we'd all just feed our babies as and when they needed it.

In the last year or so nearly everyone I know who is breastfeeding a newborn has one of these covers! I don't like that it seems to be becoming the norm. It's like it's solving a problem that wasn't there, or making women feel they are doing something that needs to be hidden. Yes I agree the first few public feeds are tricky and you do feel self conscious but once you have done it a few times you realise actually nobody cares or even notices most of the time!

Mintyy · 30/06/2013 20:58

Agree. Never saw covers when I was breastfeeding in 2001 and 2003/4.

So the worry is that they will become the norm and anyone who feeds without one will be made to feel uncomfortable.

spotscotch · 30/06/2013 21:00

Tbh I would rather see a woman breastfeeding under a cover rather than the ' LOOK AT ME I'M BREASTFEEDING' types. Really, no one cares.

mrsjay · 30/06/2013 21:00

OH ok so you totally ignored my comment about Miss I saw your boobies then chickens It is comments like yours chickens that scare women half to death about breastfeeding as they feel ashamed that they want to use a scarf or cover or whatever to feed their babies It is comments like that then women feel they SHOULD have their breasts on show while feeding their babies, comments like yours doesn't help anybody let alone other women, and fling a bit of racisim in just for good measure sigh