to feel saddened about " breast feeding covers

[Theas18]

lady on the next table in the cafe I'm in ifs beat feeding a lovely month or so old baby under a huge bib.

maybe she feels " happier about it" and all that but really. What do you see for a happily breastfeeding b baby-the back of a sweet little head? no big deal and very normal.

Why are we ( society) doing this to mums and babies. surely a 6 month old won't tolerate it anyway, so I guess they give up then :(

Really ICBINEG - Men have no probs with it?

Tell that to my DH, My brother and my DFIL.

My DF has no problem with it, but being sort of well, human, he has different thoughts about it than those afore mentioned.

Just like some women do not mind wearing thongs and going topless and some women would rather chew a hand off than do that.

I guess that is what makes us human, being different.

And it is not immodest to breastfeed without a cover, which is what your posts now seem to imply.

I did not imply anything of the sort,dont put words in my mouth I was talking about clothes and people being modest yes mammals breastfeed their babies Apes and Monkies closest related to us will BF their offspring, but they have not evolved as much as us and some women do not want to expose their breasts for whatever reason to feed their babies, they should not feel they are doing anything wrong, or society is telling them to cover up, we are all individual and we all have a comfort zone, breast feeding maybe the most natural thing to do but is is not the most natural thing to master, fiddiling about with nipples latching in full view is something that a lot of women don't want to do, they want to sit in a cafe have a coffee and feed their baby without being judged and other women looking on feeling sad for them

I look forward to you trying it ICBINEG.

I cant wait to see you in the media next week

" Mumsnetter caused chaos in local cafe by taking of her top garments whilst having a hot choclate, she said it was in protest at women feeling shamed into hiding their breast feeding child"

and sometimes a mother ape will go to a quite spot to feed her baby as well as they live in groups and will have others looking on and poking them and she needs her privacy too and a quite moment with her baby

I've thought about this some more, and if the OP was feeling sad that some marketing genius had thought up a way to get mothers to pay for some gizmo that is, as far as I can see, not much more than a large scarf, then I would agree that it is depressing that something free and natural is becoming commercialised. But to be sad that some mothers choose to use a cover to feel comfortable enough to bf in public? Nope, lost me there, I'm just glad that there's another mother who might otherwise have been put off bf after a month or so and feels able to continue to do so.

The problem with scarfs for me is they are too slack, the BF covers seem more stiff and starchy and have room under for the baby to have more air, and room.

keef ohh nooo....now even men have to hide their nipples?

Dear Gods....what have nipples ever done?

mrsay You are placing a moral value judgement on peoples clothing levels which simply doesn't exist outside of our current social constructs.

I deny your right to assert that 'properly modest' is defined by breast coverage just as much as I would deny your right to assert that 'properly modest' is defined by hair coverage or the wearing of a burka.

You say you agree that modesty is a human trait...so are people living in culture in which very little is worn sub-human? Are we less human than people living in cultures that insist on the burka?

REALLY?

Surely you can see that modesty is entirely arbitrary social construct that has nothing to do with our humanity at all?

While feeding twins, one who had a terrible latch and was constantly coming off, I loved my feeding cover. Just because I wanted to breast feed didn't mean I wanted to show the world my nipples. I was a happy mum bfing my beautiful babies.
Mums cannot do anything without people like you judging them. Was she hurting her baby? No - then sod off!

Equally it's rather pointless to keep citing African or Amazonian tribes as an example, because our social context is completely different.

I will admit that I never tried one of these covers....DD had a habit of screaming, grabbing shredding and chucking on the floor anything that touched her head or body. No necklaces, no muslins, nothing. It was go natural or don't go at all.

She also used to burp so loudly it would break local noise pollution regulations....nothing like making everyone in the room turn around exactly at the moment I was trying to stow everything modestly.

'I am really looking forward to the media breaking out with stories next week of women walking around topless in protest at breasts being sexualised.'

You mean like Slutwalk but with even less clothing? Probably happen in the next few years. Wait for a heatwave though, might be kinder.

You are being very harsh to mrsjay, an awareness of nudity and what that means is part of sentience, which is part of being human. How you view that nudity is social and personal conditioning.
There are enough threads on here about nudity and children and appropriateness or not, reservations as to how far is acceptable don't just stop at bf. Different people have different levels of comfort regarding how much clothing is ok and what it should cover.
Why don't more mothers bf? Often because they feel inadequate to the task, for a number of reasons, often linked to the smugness of those that have managed it effortlessly and tell them about it all the time, and refuse to accept that some mothers get stressed about unimportant things. Like covering up. Or ff instead.

poppy when the point you are trying to make is that modesty has nothing to do with humanity but everything to do with social conditioning, the Amazonian tribes work quite well don't you think?

You know on account of them being human but not, as you so intelligently point out, in the same social context...

Excellent post, Eyes!

It's the garden of Eden all over again, innit. Eve sinned, realised she was naked and requested a feeding cover in an exotic lily print.

eyes but no-one is saying it is odd or wrong to feel uncomfortable flashing nipple in our current societal context! What we are saying is that the societal context we find ourselves in sucks ass in the worst ways possible.

I am sad that society is as we find it...not that women have found a way to do something meaningful that they would otherwise feel too uncomfortable to do...that's a good thing!

There's even a movement for you.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topfreedom
Buttons might not work, Tshirts are out. Perhaps a nice hat?

ICB actually I was addressing all the comments upthread about how women expose their breasts freely in other cultures.

"You know on account of them being human but not, as you so intelligently point out, in the same social context..."

I'm sure you can debate your point without resorting to sarcasm or personal attacks, no?

I often use a shawl in public so if DD falls asleep while feeding I don't have to disturb her while putting myself away. Also she gets quite distracted sometimes when we're out and about so like blinkers on a horse it helps keep her mind on the job. I use it when I want to keep chatting to the person I'm with rather than checking I'm not flashing when DD comes on and off. Depending on the weather it can be nice to have an extra layer so my chest area doesn't get cold whilst exposed. There's lots of reasons why I use one and I don't think it's sad; it's actually very practical.

same great post....when oh when oh when are we going to stop being punished for the mistakes of a fictional woman....

stupid snake...

Perhaps we could leave the vulnerable bf mothers alone and target the confident young women using their breasts as sexual symbols, to those that feel the need to enhance them in all sorts of cosmetic and surgical fashions?

Eve made her choice as an adult with free will. Stop blaming a talking reptile.

poppy not at this time of night...sarcasm is pretty much all I have...

Modesty is not an intrinsic human trait...it is a means of oppression.

Although oppression, I think, probably is an intrinsic human trait...so maybe modesty is also going to be here for a while....until we can evolve onto something better...like a genuine acceptance of our bodies as simply the way our brains get from one place to another....and nothing that needs hiding.....EVER.

Seriously.

Amount you do not wish your body to be seen by others =/= the amount you are a good person.

Amount you do not wish your body to be seen by others = the amount you have been psychologically screwed by your parents, society and the media.

They make me feel sad. The ones that have some wire and sort of pop out like a tent. Shawls and Muslims don't make me feel sad.

Am going back to read thread in entirety.

Muslins!

eye if I thought I was in any sense targeting unsure new mums then I would agree to switch targets.

Again, saying that society should be such that one should be able to feel comfortable getting ones breast out to feed a baby, is not the same as saying anyone that currently does not feel comfortable is somehow at fault.

But yes people exploiting societies current hideous attitude to female bodies for financial gain should be censured. That would include most companies, the government and the cosmetics industry in particular.