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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

daughter and step kids

86 replies

heavenmum28 · 29/06/2013 18:50

Hi I need some advice. I have 2 girls 10 and the other 6 months. I also have a step son who is 9 n half and a step daughter who is 7.
My daughter is sharing a room with my step daughter and my step son has his own room. Our baby is in with us still as we have no room for her in the girls room.
My step daughter has started peeing in her sleep and I dnt mean just in the bed. She also gets out of bed and does it on the carpet. The smell in there is horrible. She also hides dirty underwear when she has peed or pooed her self :-(. My step son also has toilet issues. He poos himself alot and always hides it in his room or cupboards. Again the smell is unbearable. I think it is very unfair for my daughter who has never had issues with this to have sleepin her room and put up with the smell. Shes a very tidy n clean girl and is always tidying up after her step ssister and has now actually started wearing rubber gloves n a mask when shes cleaning the room. I have told her I will clean the room as its not fare on her to do it all the time but she insists on doing it as she always has. Am I being unreasonable to ask my partner if his son and daughter can share a room and my daughter goes in the small room and eventually have our baby in with her. I must also add my daughter goes to stay at her grandparents most weekends and 1 maybe 2 nights in the week just so she can lay in bed and enjoy breathing with out smelling a toilet basically. I want her home with me some weekends but she hates being in the room. How canI bring this up with my partner with out it sounding like im picking on his kids. He knows the toilet problems they have and has tried dealing with it. Please help
Nikki

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 01/07/2013 23:22

And did you indeed have your daughter when you were 12?

MadameDefarge · 01/07/2013 23:23

Actually, you never said you were 22. My mistake. but if you have a ten year old you are not that young a mum.

IneedAyoniNickname · 01/07/2013 23:31

Op,.how soon after your sc parents split did you and their dad get together? How soon did they meet you? Move in? How long were you together before the baby was born?
Because if that all happened fairly quickly it will.affect their behaviour. Trust me. I'm dealing with the fallout of twat exs superfast new relationship.

MadameDefarge · 01/07/2013 23:47

working backwards, your dd with your dp is six months old. therefore you became pregnant nine months before that. If you have been together for two years that means you were only together 9 months before becoming pregnant. And he already had a child with incontinence issues. which have never been resolved.How long was it before you got together with his dad after his parents split? why has it gone on for two years? why do you insist your dsd can't possibly have an issue with the new baby? why are you posting about an issue about rooms rather than an issue about children?

MadameDefarge · 01/07/2013 23:57

No? No answer?

IneedAyoniNickname · 02/07/2013 00:00

I don't think we will get an answer Madame as OP has joined nethuns another site where they are nice Grin

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:05

Indeed Ineed, 'tis sad. i think we had so much to give. really. ahem.

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:05

has she really gone to NH?????

IneedAyoniNickname · 02/07/2013 00:08

Dunno, she said she's found another site where they support her. I tried searching nethuns (am.bored) but all the "yea I no hun lol itz ur.bubbz".type shit hurt my eyes.

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:10

did she? I must have missed that ( my eyes were hurting)....

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:12

but shows what a princess I must be, as I faint without paragraphs...

IneedAyoniNickname · 02/07/2013 00:16

The lack of paragraphs were hard, and I had to read them more than once

IneedAyoniNickname · 02/07/2013 00:18

It was in her post ay 23:04:24

I was hopeing to get some helpful advice off people who may be going through the same. Luckily for me I found it on another site where I dnt get accused of being a bad mum from ppl who dnt even know me.

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:19

aaahh. ppl are always more understanding.

IneedAsockamnesty · 02/07/2013 00:20

I'm not surprised she's fucked off, you were quite unpleasant and blamed her instead of the people who are responsible . These are not her children the problem is not hers to sort out the actual parents should be parenting not leaving it all up to her whilst they ignore or shout at the problem.

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:20

I am so hoping OP gets some lovely Kim n' Aggie style marigolds for her dd...maribou feathers make even shit seem fun.

IneedAyoniNickname · 02/07/2013 00:29

I wasn't unpleasant, at least I didn't mean to be! I was trying to help the op find a cause.

Of course the parents should be dealing with it, but if the sc live with op, then she is possibly the main childcarer (assuming her dp works) so some of this problem will be left up to her.

IneedAyoniNickname · 02/07/2013 00:31

On a side note, what's the singular of ppl? Is it psn? I'd like to be a psn I think Grin

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:35

Maybe. But if I became Sm to a child with severe incontinence issues I would be asking what the hell had been going on. I wouldn't wait two years until the other SC suddenly started drenching a carpet in urine so suddenly I did not notice it until my own child started sporting rubber gloves...

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:37

PSN. Person with Strange Notions.

GoshAnneGorilla · 02/07/2013 00:39

There's only so many times people can say "This behaviour isn't right, these children need professional help" and have it ignored in favour of talking about rubber gloves, without losing their patience.

That's if any of this is actually true. I hope not, otherwise there's two children out there I feel very sorry for.

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:39

sock, really, two years on and its only now its worrying her? Any child in your care is your responsibility. But I was very clear in my first post when I asked what the parents were doing. No answer to that.

IneedAyoniNickname · 02/07/2013 00:39

PSN. Person with Strange Notions. Grin

Maybe it should he prsn, as ppl is people with the vowels removed Confused

MadameDefarge · 02/07/2013 00:41

too kind I fear, I need.

ApocalypseThen · 02/07/2013 08:47

I think it's dreadful that she allows this ostentatious mask and glove wearing. How humiliating for poor SD. Masks and rubber gloves need to be confiscated today. It doesn't seem amazing that the poor girl is hiding wet underwear and not going to the adults when they're allowing that.

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